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Publisher's Summary

"Text Me has the thrills and laughs of a romantic comedy, but with an inverted message: 'There just isn't only one love story in our lives,' Schaefer writes. If you're lucky, friends will be the protagonists in these multiple love stories. It's high time that we start seeing it that way." (NPR)

2018's Great Reads

A personal and sociological examination - and ultimately a celebration - of the evolution of female friendship in pop culture and modern society

For too long, women have been told that we are terrible at being friends, that we can't help being cruel or competitive, or that we inevitably abandon each other for romantic partners. But we are rejecting those stereotypes and reclaiming the power of female friendship.   

In Text Me When You Get Home, journalist Kayleen Schaefer interviews more than 100 women about their BFFs, soul mates, girl gangs, and queens while tracing this cultural shift through the lens of pop culture. Our love for each other is reflected in Abbi and Ilana, Issa and Molly, #squadgoals, the acclaim of Girls Trip and Big Little Lies, and Galentine's Day. Schaefer also includes her own history of grappling with a world that told her to rely on men before she realized that her true source of support came from a strong tribe of women. Her personal narrative and celebration of her own relationships weaves throughout the evolution of female friendship on-screen, a serious look at how women have come to value one another and our relationships.  

Text Me When You Get Home is a validation that has never existed before. A thoughtful, heart-soaring, deeply reported look at how women are taking a stand for their friendships and not letting go.

©2018 Kayleen Schaefer (P)2018 Penguin Audio

Critic Reviews

“A memoir of female friendship issues a call to action for BFFs everywhere.” (New York Times Book Review)

Text Me has the thrills and laughs of a romantic comedy, but with an inverted message: ‘There just isn't only one love story in our lives,’ Schaefer writes. If you're lucky, friends will be the protagonists in these multiple love stories. It's high time that we start seeing it that way.” (NPR.org)

“Schaefer traces the evolution of female friendship in this thoughtfully reported book. Its insightful cultural criticism makes for an especially valuable read in the #MeToo era.” (Entertainment Weekly)

Featured Article: The Best Audiobooks on Friendship to Deepen Your Bonds


Friends are the family we choose. When we’re going through hardships or have something to celebrate, our friends are often the people we turn to first. So much of literature, art, music, and film is dedicated to romantic love, but the love between friends can be just as (if not more) rewarding. Of course, plenty of authors "are" writing about friendship, in all its many forms. Here is our list of the very best audiobooks about friendship across genres.

What listeners say about Text Me When You Get Home

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Women Supporting Women

Feel-good read chock-full of positive affirmations about girlhood and femininity. No real plot in the sense of traditional storyline, but does have relatable anecdotes. Makes concerted effort to be inclusive of women with various identities but missed the mark a little on class. Still overall good read and provides reminder that being a good friend and having good friends is invaluable.

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Good idea, not very useful book

The narrators voice was lovely but a bit paced in that certain points werent clear due to her unfluctuating tone. The book was nice and had a good message of “female friends are important” but I don’t feel like I gained anything other than hearing about a collection of female friendships that went well. Maybe that was the point of the book, a collection of successful female friendships? I may be missing the point. I think the message is very important but I don’t feel that I have taken anything important away from this book besides that fact which could be summed up in a few sentences without all the examples. Otherwise very sweet book, not bad just not what I was expecting

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On and On and On and On......

The subtitle really should have read 'the evolution of female friendship in media and TV" and would have summed up the entire book in one chapter but it just kept going and going. I could not wait to finish the darn thing already. The entire last chapter was one long run on sentence. Read the summary, skip the audio book. Plus, the narrator was really whiny.

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  • K
  • 12-16-19

Meh

A very mediocre read about a very specific type of female friendship... that focuses on college and sorority life. Lacks diverse perspectives and depth of any kind really...

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Great concept but disappointing

Great concept and great subject but this book could've been so much more. Would have benefitted from some better statistics and sources in there rather than anecdotal stories, and looking at older women's friendships or how motherhood forges friendships. Just sort of repeated itself.

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Really great until liberal political views

I really enjoyed most of this book and luckily she didn’t go off in a political direction until towards the end. It really helped me self reflect my relationships with women and it makes sense tying our current mentalities back to the social norms of the 70s and prior. I didn’t expect to have a chapter in which she discussed her anti-Trump views and how it helped bonding with her female friends while marching. It was just a complete turnoff for me being a strong supporter of our current president. I’m OK with people having their political views that differ from mine but I just didn’t expect it in this book. It’s like paying to see an entertainer and then using their platform to promote their political agenda… It’s not what entertainment is about. The fact that she assumes that most women would identify with this part of the story is also a bit insulting. I would’ve given it a 5 but I still gave it a 4. That chapter kind of deflated my enthusiasm for the book and I was hoping for more interesting ending as well.

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Good message

Wanted to really gush and enjoy this book, it seemed very repetitive and was more like a report of women in the media through the past century more than an intimate tale of female friendship, my book club enjoyed it none the less.

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Relatable

From page one I found myself relating to this book. It speaks of relationships of every sort and I was able to connect with each example. After finishing the book, I purchased hard copies to give to my family and friends to let them know how special they were to me.

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Girlfriends

Well done!! Great read for women of all ages. Insights to the definition of best girlfriends.

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Not what I was hoping for

only so many times you can compare modern women to the characters from 80's sitcoms. I was hoping this would have more substance. we read this for a bookclub because we all tend to say this to each other when we leave a gathering. it was disappointing. lacing statistics and solid research, it felt based on characters from tv shows the author enjoyed. a letdown.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Charlotte Johnston
  • 01-04-21

Mostly anecdotes

The book wasn't what I expected, it was mostly anecdotes and stories from the authors personal female friendships, celebrity friendships or fictional tv show friendships. For this reason it was quite hard to get through the last 1/3 of the book. Overall I did enjoy it though, as it serves more as a prompt to look at your own female friendships, and motivation to prioritise them.

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  • ADM
  • 07-01-19

Warming

A little bit too shallow at times but a heart warming book that invites to reconsider female friendship. Would be a great gift for a female friend.

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  • Annabelle King
  • 04-19-19

so heart warming

described my wonderful, brilliant close friendships. So positive and glowing it will leave you feeling great, empowered and ready to celebrate all the awesome women in your life.