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Publisher's Summary

A close friendship is one of the most influential and important relationships a human life can contain. Anyone will tell you that! But for all the rosy sentiments surrounding friendship, most people don’t talk much about what it really takes to stay close for the long haul.

Now two friends, Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman, tell the story of their equally messy and life-affirming big friendship in this honest and hilarious book that chronicles their first decade in one another’s lives. As the hosts of the hit podcast Call Your Girlfriend, they’ve become known for frank and intimate conversations. In this book, they bring that energy to their own friendship - its joys and its pitfalls.

Aminatou and Ann define big friendship as a strong, significant bond that transcends life phases, geographical locations, and emotional shifts. And they should know: The two have had moments of charmed bliss and deep frustration, of profound connection and gut-wrenching alienation. They have weathered life-threatening health scares, getting fired from their dream jobs, and one unfortunate Thanksgiving dinner eaten in a car in a parking lot in Rancho Cucamonga. Through interviews with friends and experts, they have come to understand that their struggles are not unique. And that the most important part of a big friendship is making the decision to invest in one another again and again.

An inspiring and entertaining testament to the power of society’s most underappreciated relationship, Big Friendship will invite you to think about how your own bonds are formed, challenged, and preserved. It is a call to value your friendships in all of their complexity. Actively choose them. And, sometimes, fight for them.

©2020 Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman. All rights reserved. (P)2020 Simon & Schuster, Inc. All rights reserved.

Featured Article: The Best Audiobooks on Friendship to Deepen Your Bonds


Friends are the family we choose. When we’re going through hardships or have something to celebrate, our friends are often the people we turn to first. So much of literature, art, music, and film is dedicated to romantic love, but the love between friends can be just as (if not more) rewarding. Of course, plenty of authors "are" writing about friendship, in all its many forms. Here is our list of the very best audiobooks about friendship across genres.

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What listeners say about Big Friendship

Average Customer Ratings
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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Not what I was expecting - but I still enjoyed a lot of it

Overall the listening experience was positive! But I feel the book was presented/marketed as something different than what it was. To me this is more of a joint memoir and less of a self help book on friendship. The writing style felt very natural and made me want to keep listening to the stories. However when thinking to my own experiences on friendship I felt most of this book was extremely unrelatable. I think their experiences are reflecting upper middle class/upper class friendships of ultra-ambitious people living in a major city. I would love to read the Midwestern version of this book. There seems to be quite a bit untapped potential in this space.

7 people found this helpful

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Not a lot of substance

The topic of this book could have easily been covered in a magazine article and they should have waited to write the book until they had been friends for like 30 years. It's more of an memoir than a book with a good concrete plan for getting and maintaining big friendships. Just wonder who the audience is for this book?

4 people found this helpful

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  • CR
  • 12-23-20

Pass on this one.

Very Disappointed. Purchased this book on Glennon Doyle’s recommendation and once again, it appears I’ve been duped by a successful author promoting her friends. Shame on me.

This story seemed to me an example of the entitled ‘all about me’-hyper-focused social media demographic who think they’ve invented something new or have an enlightened perspective when they haven’t lived long enough or been through enough ‘stuff’ to know when they have something meaningful to share with others.

Couples therapy for friendships? I’d like to suggest there are good reasons why this offering hasn’t been available before you 2 thought it was a great idea.

Building and maintaining long term friendships is a lifetime practice of personal growth - it requires intentional, unconditional love; doing the work to be present for meaningful conversation through thick and thin; being true to yourself to be able to be authentic to others and - importantly, keeping your sense of humor humility and perspective. Done.

2 people found this helpful

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Beautiful, concise, and inspiring

This book about Big Friendship will resonate with anyone who has had a deep, powerful friendship that felt like a true relationship. Ann and Aminatou tell the story of ups and downs, and provide a powerful reminder to treasure our friendships, invest in them, and honor their significance.

2 people found this helpful

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So meaningful.

I’ve been thinking soooo much about relationships and especially my friendships lately. I needed this audiobook. It was beautiful. I cried. Laughed. Shook my head in recognition. I’m going to be recommending it. A LOT.

2 people found this helpful

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So good

I can't even write a proper review, I just loved it so much. It's the best work they've put out, and if you are a fan of the podcast, this is a must-own.

2 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars

Tears! (the good kind)

Finished in one day, all the tears! Thank you for writing honestly and beautifully. This love story about your friendship is the catalyst to fight for my own big friendship that needs a little stretching. Thank you for putting words to your hearts!

2 people found this helpful

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Very Political

I thought I was buying a more scientific book on friendship (I should have researched it better). I appreciate the story, but the far left/liberal messages in the book kept getting in the way of the friendship tips. I appreciate the look into the lives of POC and the different experiences, this was just simply not what I thought I was buying. Peace and Love.

1 person found this helpful

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More than friendship ♥️

This book was such a beautiful love letter to friendship. My love of the authors was what led me to these pages, and they more than delivered. The biographical story telling of the pair’s friendship is bolstered by the ancillary voices they invite into this book, providing into the historical context of friendship, feminism, wage disparity, race, and so much more. This book made me want to run to a phone and reconnect with all of the dearest women in my friend web and renew the bonds of this most sacred of pacts. A delight through and through, could not recommend highly enough.

1 person found this helpful

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MARVELOUS!!

I was so enthralled with the story that I finished it in 3 days or less! Brought up some thoughts regarding my own friendships and where they stand, I even started writing about my feelings...THANK YOU LADIES for sharing such intimate parts about your friendship with the world😘

1 person found this helpful