Mistakes Were Made (but Not By Me) Third Edition

Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts

De: Carol Tavris, Elliot Aronson

Narrado por: Carol Tavris

Renowned social psychologists Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson take a compelling look into how the brain is wired for self-justification. This updated edition concludes with an extended discussion of how we can live with dissonance, learn from it, and perhaps, eventually, forgive ourselves.

Why is it so hard to say “I made a mistake”—and really believe it?

When we make mistakes, cling to outdated attitudes, or mistreat other people, we must calm the cognitive dissonance that jars our feelings of self-worth. And so, unconsciously, we create fictions that absolve us of responsibility, restoring our belief that we are smart, moral, and right—a belief that often keeps us on a course that is dumb, immoral, and wrong. Backed by years of research, Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me) offers a fascinating explanation of self-justification—how it works, the damage it can cause, and how we can overcome it.

“Entertaining, illuminating and—when you recognize yourself in the stories it tells—mortifying.”—Wall Street Journal

“Every page sparkles with sharp insight and keen observation. Mistakes were made—but not in this book!”—Daniel Gilbert, author of Stumbling on Happiness

How we can lose sight of our goals and core values

It is amazing how wrapped up we get in ourselves and what’s going on around us. we can easily of what our true core values are if we are not watching this was very eye-opening to me

Mistakes Were Made (but not by the authors?)

Good presentation of long-standing value of CD theory gives us all something to ponder deeply when we want to stand up for our actions/beliefs/motives. Empowers us to step outside our own thinking and feeling to find resolve and quiet the crazy cycle that promotes conflict in human relationships.
However, I kept wanting to ask “why do the authors exclude themselves from falling into the same trap they claim we’re all in?” Their assumptions are often (and I mean OFTEN) presented as fact and gross oversimplifications are staggering when discussing sociological dynamics of politics. You might want to skip those parts. Taints the value of the psychological perspectives of a lifetime of work.
New chapter is laughable as of date in my opinion. They could have just said “Donald Trump struggles with NPD and we as a democracy have scrambled to manage his disorder in our opinion. At least he didn’t start a war (uh... We mean a “conflict” like another narcissist LBJ).” That could’ve explained it painlessly compared to attempting to give us pages of bloody details and then trivializing all motives of his support base and cabinet. Just unnecessary and certainly incomplete I think. But maybe I’m self-justifying my decision to NOT vote for Trump!?!

Falls victim to it's own message.

I'm not even a Trump supporter and this book definitely fell victim to it's own message at the end. And for some reason just saying that seems to keep my review from being published...

Beyond that, it's a great book. I would have given it four stars if not for the complete collapse at the end.

Great Insight for being a Human

The authors are the researchers, which is nice because despite their best efforts bookwriters can’t know the material as intimately as the scientists. Researchers aren’t always the best communicators, but luckily Tavris and Aronson are. Human motivation and our unconscious self-rationalization is completely natural AND completely ruinous individually and as societies. The book takes you through personal, legal, political and societal pitfalls that are all too common and also MUST be acknowledged in order to make better decisions in our relationships and collectively. The 2020 revision is highly recommended. Please read and share.

De-mystification and de-villainizing of Cognitive Dissonance

Loved the interwoven psychology and geopolitics throughout. Wish there was a part 2 to help iterate the cognitive dissonance worldwide regarding the genocide occurring in Palestine, Congo, Sudan, and Haiti & the Demi-gods of the Democrats and Blue MAGA. It’s such a helpful book to read during this time with upcoming elections and looming world wars.