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For the Love of Men

A New Vision for Mindful Masculinity
By: Liz Plank
Narrated by: Liz Plank
Length: 10 hrs and 35 mins
Categories: Nonfiction, Gender Issues
4.5 out of 5 stars (101 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

This program is read by the author.

A nonfiction investigation into masculinity, For the Love of Men provides actionable steps for how to be a man in the modern world, while also exploring how being a man in the world has evolved.

In 2019, traditional masculinity is both rewarded and sanctioned. Men grow up being told that boys don’t cry and dolls are for girls (a newer phenomenon than you might realize - gendered toys came back in vogue as recently as the '80s). They learn they must hide their feelings and anxieties, that their masculinity must constantly be proven. They must be the breadwinners, they must be the romantic pursuers. This hasn’t been good for the culture at large: 99 percent of school shooters are male; men in fraternities are 300 percent (!) more likely to commit rape; a woman serving in uniform has a higher likelihood of being assaulted by a fellow soldier than to be killed by enemy fire. 

In For the Love of Men, Liz offers a smart, insightful, and deeply researched guide for what we're all going to do about toxic masculinity. For both women looking to guide the men in their lives and men who want to do better and just don’t know how, For the Love of Men will lead the conversation on men's issues in a society where so much is changing, but gender roles have remained strangely stagnant. 

What are we going to do about men? Liz Plank has the answer. And it has the possibility to change the world for men and women alike.

©2019 Liz Plank (P)2019 Macmillan Audio

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Important and thought provoking

The pros: this is part of a very important and timely discussion about what it means to be a man in contemporary history. Plank’s work is compassionate and sympathetic towards the male gender, and her position that toxic masculinity hurts men as much as anyone else feels very different from earlier feminist positions that seemed to make men the problem or even the enemy. She provides compelling evidence and stories to illustrate her points, and the narrative moves right along without dragging.
The cons: she’s not a professional reader. She mumbles and softens consonants (“masculinity” frequently comes out “makulinniny” Granted, it’s a difficult word to pronounce) and worse, her obvious inflections tell you what you’re supposed to think, rather than letting her arguments stand on their own merit. She grossly misrepresented or possibly misunderstood the work of Jordan Peterson, ascribing positions to him that, after listening to many hours of his podcasts and interviews, I just don’t think he holds. That made me suspect the accuracy of how she represented other studies that she quotes.
Overall, I found this book well worth my time. It’s not a perfect book, but it’s an important one. It did make me think in new ways, and it really made me hopeful that through genuine compassion, we as a society can have an open conversation about healthy masculinity.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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This book is a game changer

Just finished listening and already want to start it again. Critical information from cover to cover, this book could truly transform the world we live in, in a very fundamental way. Liz Plank tackles the sensitive subject of toxic masculinity with grace, understanding, and fluidity, in a way that all genders will be able to absorb. Historic in all regards. Will be holiday gifts for EVERYONE in my family this year, is bound to be a bestseller, and hopefully will be mandatory reading in gender studies curriculum for future generations. Chalice and The Blade level important. BEST.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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Evolving definitions of masculinity

It's always important to see the way notions of gender are constructed. Our notions evolve, and our times require us to revisit the dominant notions of what men want, need and are expected. There's a rapid re-envisioning happening across our social constructs, and our social contracts. These also have gender dynamics and defined expectations of what social functions men fulfill in the 21st century. Plank breaks down these notions with wit, humility, and grace as she takes the readers on a whirlwind tour of what she has learned about a new emerging form of mindful masculinity.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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Great introduction to society’s role at devaluing men

A great look into men’s changing roles in Society, and the lack of support. Lots of historical, and statistical context showing the negative masculine stereotype that most men and women grow up believing. I don’t like the term “toxic masculinity”, but there is truth to this concept that we all have been sold. Liz plank does a good job at delivering great info, maybe at times sounds a little condescending. While she provides great concern for the well being of men, she often reminds the listener of women’s fate regarding “toxic masculinity”, as if we haven’t heard about this same lecture since the 1960s. However In a book written for men, by a women, I feel she rarely misses her audience. If the idea was to point out the mindset of “toxic male identity”, all while offering numerous real solutions, she delivers. In summary this was eye opening, and mostly just reinforced the idea that that men and women need to support men in healthy ways, like the way we support women. Thanks for this book!

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Wowzah

one of the best books of the decade. It vocalizes so many things in a way that's easily digestible for so many men in a nonthreatening way. A beautiful constructed book. One that should be required reading by all.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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This is what gender should be

Liz is someone I have followed on social media for years. I love that she narrates, as her wit, joy, and care for others is infectious.

This book was fun to listen to, inspiring, and thought provoking. I’m a 30-something queer non-binary individual (born female), born to a Vietnam veteran, raised all over America, but my formative high school years were spent in the mountains of NC. To say gender roles were well defined is an understatement. It wasn’t until a couple years ago that I started to examine gender as a whole. If this book was something that was out back in high school and college, my whole life would have been different. What Liz describes in this book is vital, and need to be taught far and wide so humans can be who they are instead of who society tells them to be no matter the body they are born in.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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PLEASE READ THIS

Y’all. This is it. This is everything I need as a person who longs to exist in a world where everybody gets to be who they are. This is a must read for everyone. Liz Plank - I tip my hat my gal 💛 thank you for writing this book.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Every man needs this class

Liz Plank dissects the toxicity of traditional masculinity ideology and how it exists in every corner of our culture and lays out a vision of awareness and action. We teach young men dominance over empathy and excuse inappropriate behavior with "boys will be boys". Each and every one of us should read this book and do something to make this world a more welcoming and safe society for all. Thank you Liz, your perspective is always a revelation.

3 of 5 people found this review helpful

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Reality shaking

Everyone who is a man, loves a man, or plans to love a man will greatly benefit from reading this book. The author also does a good job of bringing her personality out in the reading of the book.

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Great perspective

Great perspective. I will read this a few times more while recommending it to everyone. It is funny, considerate, and researched. It gives me hope for my daughter, and should we have a son, hope for them too.