First Comes Marriage

My Not-So-Typical American Love Story

By: Huda Al-Marashi

Narrated by: Jeed Saddy

Length: 9 hrs and 37 mins

Publisher's summary

When Huda meets Hadi, the boy she will ultimately marry, she is six years old. Both are the American-born children of Iraqi immigrants, who grew up on opposite ends of California.

Hadi considers Huda his childhood sweetheart, the first and only girl he's ever loved, but Huda needs proof that she is more than just the girl Hadi's mother has chosen for her son. She wants what the American girls have - the entertainment culture's almost singular tale of chance meetings, defying the odds, and falling in love. She wants stolen kisses, romantic dates, and a surprise proposal. As long as she has a grand love story, Huda believes no one will question if her marriage has been arranged.

But when Huda and Hadi's conservative Muslim families forbid them to go out alone before their wedding, Huda must navigate her way through the despair of unmet expectations and dashed happily-ever-after ideals. Eventually she comes to understand the toll of straddling two cultures in a marriage and the importance of reconciling what you dreamed of with the life you eventually live.

Tender, honest, and irresistibly compelling, First Comes Marriage is the first Muslim American memoir dedicated to the themes of love and sexuality.

©2018 Huda Al-Marashi (P)2018 HighBridge, a division of Recorded Books

Like talking to a best friend

memoirs are my favorite way to understand other people and cultures so when I found myself craving a memoir, I immediately was drawn to “First Comes Marriage: My Not So Typical American Love Story” by Huda Al-Marashi by both the beautiful cover art and the publishers summary.
Immediately, it feels as though you know Huda and are sitting down to hang out with her. Her writing style is just so personal & Jeed Saddy does a perfect job at making you feel right at home; her voice is full of such warmth.
While Huda’s life and family/relationship dynamics are very different from my own, I was still able to relate my mom to her mom (strong personalities full of love and a mischievous sense of humor), and nothing felt so different as to create division - rather the differences felt both celebrated & understood in a very intimate way.
Definitely a good memoir to pick up if you are in the mood!

Such a wonderful story of a young girl becoming a mature woman

I loved this book! What a great story that anyone can relate to. She is a Muslim, 1st generation American girl - I am none of those things and yet I completely related to the innocence, the vulnerability, the comparing oneself with others and resultant self-pity, and so much more. Bravo!!

A capturing and moving book

Looking for a good listen through changing scenarios in my own life, this book was a gift. It connected with my mind and my heart, although I am on a different continent in different cultures and decades. Not only did this help my connection with other people around me, but contributed to my reflection on myself, my own upbringing, belief systems, challenges and views of my marriage.
The narrator certainly made this possible.

Depression

What a frustrating story! First, this girl complains about being American. That’s annoying in itself. At some point, we are all children of immigrants, except for the natives, and she was raised with more privilege than I could have ever dreamt of. Secondly, she wants a modern, romantic love story, doesn’t get it, then constantly complains that she didn’t get it, and justifies why she should stay in the life she doesn’t want. I was there, too. I had a semi-arranged marriage in a religious cult with all the same rules about purity and no touching and such, felt a point of no return even after realizing I really did not want to marry the guy. Got married to him, then was utterly disgusted by him, felt sorry for him, then constantly rationalized and justified my situation. But when I had an opportunity of divorce I took it. I feel so incredibly sad for Huda. She cared more about her reputation than her dreams. I’m sure it only got worse from there. I can say that it does get better. When you meet someone that’s compatible, someone you are actually attracted to, someone who’s smell and hair doesn’t repulse you, someone who has a personality that you adore, you can get through anything together. I’m assuming that her husband didn’t change after having babies. If he had no desire to lead or initiate…anything…I bet parenting with him is pure misery. You can justify anything, though. Let it all build up. One day it will come out. Why did she even write this story?
Also, the narration is one of the worst performances. It’s up and down with infliction. If the volume is reasonable, you still miss parts, because the reader is mumbling like she’s acting out the performance, instead of just reading it. Then you turn up the volume and next, she’s yelling. I finished it, because I related to the story. But it was frustrating.