• If You Didn't Bring Jerky, What Did I Just Eat?

  • Misadventures in Hunting, Fishing, and the Wilds of Suburbia
  • By: Bill Heavey
  • Narrated by: Ian Patrick Williams
  • Length: 6 hrs and 50 mins
  • Unabridged Audiobook
  • Release date: 06-16-15
  • Language: English
  • Publisher: Audible Studios
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars (99 ratings)

Regular price: $19.95

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Publisher's Summary

Whether he is accidentally cooking his brain with hand warmers or yanking his lure away from a trophy fish just before it takes the bait, Bill Heavey can do no right. For almost a decade, he has chronicled his incompetence on the back page of Field & Stream, where his hilarious dispatches about life as a hapless outdoorsman who lives in suburbia have earned him legions of fans.

But Heavey is more than a humorist. The stories in this book range from amusing tales of a modern dad struggling to navigate the finer points of parenting and married life to longer and more serious narratives that involve travel, adventure, and tragedy. No matter what he's writing about, Heavey is a master of blending humor and pathos - and wide-ranging outdoor enthusiasms - into a poignant and potent stew.

©2007 Bill Heavey. Foreword copyright 2007 by David E. Petzal. Originally published by arrangement with Field & Stream magazine,in which the book’s pieces originally appeared. Recorded by arrangement with Grove Atlantic, Inc. (P)2014 Audible Inc.

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Mari
  • Farmington, MN, United States
  • 04-11-17

Parts were funny, others not so much

There were parts of this book that were hilarious, others not so much. I think I was expecting more of a Patrick E McManus flair where you can really visualize the story. So again it was funny but not laugh out loud, tears running down your face funny.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Funny because you can relate!

If you have ever hunted or fished in your life, you can relate to his stories. He is funny because he always pokes fun at himself.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Bo
  • 09-12-17

Hilarious

This book had me laughin'
This is something every outdoorsman can relate to. we've all been in these funny situations

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Worth every penny!

great mix of short stories perfect for when you have a few minutes to spare. if you have ever hunted or fished, you will have a sudden appreciation for the book, accommodations with unmistakable urge to return to the outdoors.

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

it was alright

The stories were pretty good. As a hunter i can relate to many. i didnt care for the narrator, the way he read it just wasn't funny to me.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Clean good humor

Excellent good clean humor especially if you remember this

A real look into yesteryear
Well worth the time

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Laugh out loud until you cry

A forever keeper. Top shelf all the way. A true classic with tales every hunter can appreciate.

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars

could have been good

The narrator speaks in a monotone. some of the stories are funny but some were incredibly depressing. I couldn't finish this one.

0 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

A great story ruined by AWFUL mouth sounds

This book has wonderfully amusing and heart touching stories of hunting, but the worst mouth/tongue popping/smacking I've ever have ever forced myself to listen to. the reader if very engaging, but editing & sounds dropped the ball TERRIBLY!!!!
VERY DISAPPOINTED, but only with the performance!!!!

0 of 1 people found this review helpful