Don't Be Ugly

The G-Rated companion book to “Momma n ‘Em Said."

By: Tim Heaton

Narrated by: Virtual Voice

Length: 1 hr and 16 mins

Publisher's summary

"Don't Be Ugly" is the G-Rated companion to: "Momma n ‘Em Said: the Treasury of Southern Sayings." The title is a play on words. If you grew up in the South you would have heard your mother say, “Don’t Be Ugly” after you called your sister a “skank”. Oh and most likely she would told you to go get a switch after saying that word. I listen to my readers and one of the reviewers said that "Momma n ‘Em Said" was “a bit bawdy at times.” Then I found out that a Sunday school teacher had taken the book to show his class. Here’s some of the more colorful sayings. Pretty tame perhaps, but probably not enough for benediction: • I'll be dipped in shit and rolled in cracker crumbs! • That makes my ass want a dip of snuff. • I got to piss like a Russian race horse at the Kentucky derby with a glue truck chasing. • Ashes to ashes and dust to dust, if it wasn't for women our peckers would rust. The book is different in several ways. 1. All the sayings referring to God have been deleted. 2. All of the sayings with off-color words are out. 3. The 423 contributors and their favorite sayings not in the book – because, well…many were pretty colorful. 4. The Southern words were taken out. What’s left are the squeaky-clean Southern Sayings. The book is smaller than “Momma’ n ‘Em Said” but it is still one of the largest collections of Southern Sayings- about 1,300 in all. "Don’t Be Ugly" is the version you can take to Sunday school and share a laugh or two with your nana as well. As for me, I can be a bit profane at times. English is a wonderful language and I intend on using every bit of it. I hope you enjoy all my books, and I would love to hear from you. Warm regards, Tim [e-mail]