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Publisher's Summary

Have you ever wished you could live in an earlier, more romantic era?

Ladies, welcome to the 19th century, where there's arsenic in your face cream, a pot of cold pee sits under your bed, and all of your underwear is crotchless. (Why? Shush, dear. A lady doesn't question.)

Unmentionable is your hilarious, scandalously honest (yet never crass) guide to the secrets of Victorian womanhood, giving you detailed advice on:

  • What to wear
  • Where to relieve yourself
  • How to conceal your loathsome addiction to menstruating
  • What to expect on your wedding night
  • How to be the perfect Victorian wife
  • Why masturbating will kill you
  • And more

Irresistibly charming, laugh-out-loud funny, Unmentionable will inspire a whole new level of respect for Elizabeth Bennett, Scarlett O'Hara, Jane Eyre, and all of our great-great-grandmothers.

(And it just might leave you feeling ecstatically grateful to live in an age of pants, superabsorbency tampons, epidurals, antidepressants, and not dying of the syphilis your husband brought home.)

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying reference material will be available in your My Library section along with the audio.

©2016 Therese Oneill (P)2016 Hachette Audio

Critic Reviews

"A down-and-dirty perusal of the realities of hygiene and womanhood in the Victorian era. The truth behind slimming corsets, virtuous nuptials, and strict morals is sometimes shocking, occasionally alarming, but always funny with Oneill's wry commentary." (Library Journal)
"Flat-out hysterical (and occasionally alarming).... Read it and be very, very glad you're a woman of modern times." (Good Housekeeping)
"Oneill uncovers the filthy, untidy, licentious conditions of 19th-century women's lives that novelists of the period often glossed over." (Elle)

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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Humorous, Fun and Educational

I very much enjoyed how this book took the tone of speaking directly to a modern woman, instead of simply pumping out a multitude of facts.
It is rare to learn and be entertained - this book accomplishes both, without talking down to you.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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Interesting and funny but, at times, repetitive

I enjoyed the book and can understand the choice for the narrator's tone but it became repetitive listening to her snippy comments. The point I most enjoyed was when she seemed to slip out of the Victorian character to express her disgust at one of the time's leading 'scientists'.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Every woman should have this book!!

The story and narration were both amazing. I want to have every book by her.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • jb11
  • michigan
  • 12-13-17

I hope my review does this book justice.

I've been an Audible monthly member since 2000. That's almost 18 years of a book subscription. There are a very small handful that I return to, and THIS book has just shot to the top of that list. The trick to sidesplitting humor is cleverly finding and communicating certain truths. Our dear writer must've been in knots throughout the writing of this book. Her caustic wit expresses itself in such a way that illustrates absurdity PERFECTLY! The performer has proven herself to be the ideal match to this writer. Her inflections are spot on, and had me cracking up on a regular basis. If you've EVER thought that the 19th century was a romantic, dreamy era to live in, this will change your mind. I have no doubt that I've missed parts, so I'll be going back to make sure I catch everything. Again... and again... and again... Buy this book, you will not regret it! Oh, and the accompanying .pdf does not disappoint, either! I LOVE THIS BOOK!!!

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absolutely hysterical!

This was a surprising find! The book is put together perfectly with a good balance of history paired with wit and humor. While the humor might seem to poke fun at the era, it does it with good grace and understanding of the knowledge base the era had at the time. I would recommend this book to everyone who enjoys Austin and other writers of her time.

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Ladies, it's worth it!

The delivery was outstanding. I found the book interesting - unlike anything else I've even considered.

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A funny and not so funny look at the past

For those wishing to go back in time to the romantic past this book has some hard--and hilarious truths for you. You are guided on a tour of the Victorian era with all of the ridiculously complicated social norms and incredibly elaborate clothing included. My main take away from this was that I'm awfully glad I live now instead of then. This book is more than just funny – it's thought provoking, especially at the end when you realize how far we've come as women. highly recommended!

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so fun !

Very funny & inlightinig. The reader was great too. I would highly recommend this book to anyone.

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time travelers guide to NEVER go to this time zon

loved this book, very entertaining and interesting. pretty glad I wasn't born then!

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pleasantly surprised historical fun

Was worried how this could be written, what would be covered etc since I do study the era but it was just so cute I have it a try & glad I did. The author's tone is charming & witty making it a joy to hear her present information I knew & be delighted buy little surprises I didn't putt appreciate her comments. Just delightful.

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  • Mrs B
  • 07-31-17

Sorry just too American kitsch

This could have been an excellent view into the personal world of the Victorian woman and it is a very interesting era and the subject matter not really visited before, BUT oh dear, it's written like the author is a stand up comedian and not a very funny one. In addition the narrator has the most infuriating intonation!! Agggh!!! She sing songs her way along the subject matter and frankly condescends to the listener. It was like listening to a cat being strangled and I had to stop listening before I threw my phone at the wall. What a shame, as a woman I was finding the content fascinating but it was written and narrated in far too an American kitsch way.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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  • Tink
  • 08-03-17

hilariously entertaining

loved this, had me hooked from the start. wonderfully read, scarily grateful to be modern.

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  • R. woods
  • 07-05-17

Charming

Utterly fascinating, Read with humour and wit and written in a delightfully original format, this will go on my list as one of my favourite audio books of all time.

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 07-12-17

A fabulously entertaining look on history

This book was not only immensely enjoyable and humorous, but provided an insight into the period of history which shaped us today. The conclusion brought to attention the importance of equality and freedom for women and how we must continue to appreciate how far we have come but also work towards achieving even more equality in our western world.