The Four Tendencies

The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How to Make Your Life Better (and Other People's Lives Better, Too)

De: Gretchen Rubin

Narrado por: Gretchen Rubin

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Are you an Upholder, a Questioner, an Obliger, or a Rebel? From the author of Better Than Before and The Happiness Project comes a groundbreaking analysis of personality type that “will immediately improve every area of your life” (Melissa Urban, co-founder of the Whole30).

During her multibook investigation into human nature, Gretchen Rubin realized that by asking the seemingly dry question “How do I respond to expectations?” we gain explosive self-knowledge. She discovered that based on their answer, people fit into Four Tendencies:

• Upholders meet outer and inner expectations readily. “Discipline is my freedom.”
• Questioners meet inner expectations, but meet outer expectations only if they make sense. “If you convince me why, I’ll comply.”
• Obligers (the largest Tendency) meet outer expectations, but struggle to meet inner expectations—therefore, they need outer accountability to meet inner expectations. “You can count on me, and I’m counting on you to count on me.”
• Rebels (the smallest group) resist all expectations, outer and inner alike. They do what they choose to do, when they choose to do it, and typically they don’t tell themselves what to do. “You can’t make me, and neither can I.”

Our Tendency shapes every aspect of our behavior, so using this framework allows us to make better decisions, meet deadlines, suffer less stress, and engage more effectively. It’s far easier to succeed when you know what works for you.

With sharp insight, compelling research, and hilarious examples, The Four Tendencies will help you get happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative.

What I Didn't Know

I was always pretty sure of who I was. I've lived a pretty good life. Though I've certainly made mistakes with my career, friendships, family, and life, I'm generally satisfied with most--make that some of my current life. So I took the tendancies quiz, thinking it would be like all the rest. Full of generalities and not much substance. But I was BLOWN AWAY by what I learned. So many times in my life I haven't understood the why of my choices. Thinking I was just different from everybody else. One concept in Gretchen's book changed me. She asked about not being certain if I could do something in the future for someone else. Well, I thought, not for certain. Because how would I know what I'd want to do that day? That was me. Beyond that, I couldn't even depend on doing something for myself! I'd stopped making important appointments because I might not feel like going to them that day. It might sound like just a lazy excuse, but that wasn't the case. I was a Rebel. I wish I'd known how to deal with others, and myself, years ago. This book is teaching me how, now. Highly recommend.

Personality Indicator

I'm not sure how scientific this book is and whether the methodology used is credible, however I believe it is a very interesting book and can shed a light on the different types of personalities.

It led me to think about my behavior repeatedly to check whether my personality fits the description because sometimes I would skew towards another one. I guess it has to do with a certain mindset

I think this is something that requires further research and investigation. Also, it can be integrated with other personality type indicators such as MBTI to provide a wider view in the subject

Helped my understand how to motivate myself

I'm a therapist and found this book very helpful for both me and my clients. It's important to understand what motivates us. I've always understood that it's important to find what motivates us internally. I do not have internal motivation. I need external motivators. This book does a great job explaining what that looks like

Fascinating Framework!

I am completely fascinated by the 4 Tendencies framework. Have everyone you know, love, and work with take this quiz. Even if you already know your tendency, the insight and guidance that Gretchen gives on how to harness your strengths and interact with other tendencies is invaluable both professionally and personally. It can help your relationships on a number of levels, including your relationship with yourself!

Great insight

I loved learning about how I naturally go about things in life and how to overcome my weaknesses and turn them into strengths. Very insightful!