Not My Father's Son: A Memoir

De: Alan Cumming

Narrado por: Alan Cumming

Audie Award, Autobiography/Memoir, 2015

Dark, painful memories can be like a cage. Or, in the case of Alan Cumming, they can be packed away in a box, stuck in the attic to be forgotten. Until one day the box explodes and all the memories flood back in horrible detail. Alan Cumming grew up in the grip of a man who held his family hostage, someone who meted out violence with a frightening ease, who waged a silent war with himself that sometimes spilled over onto everyone around him. That man was Alex Cumming, Alan's father.

When television producers approached Alan to appear on a popular celebrity genealogy show in 2010, he enthusiastically agreed. He hoped to solve a mystery that had long cast a shadow over his family. His maternal grandfather, Tommy Darling, had disappeared into the Far East after WWII. Alan's mother knew very little about him - he had been a courier, carrying information between battalions on his motorbike. The last time she saw her father, Alan's mother was eight years old. When she was 13, the family was informed that he had died by his own hand, an accidental shooting.

But this was not the only mystery laid before Alan's feet. His father, whom Alan had not seen or spoken to for more than a decade, reconnected just before filming for Who Do You Think You Are? began. He had a secret he had to share, one that would shock his son to his very core and set into motion a journey that would change Alan's life forever.

With ribald humor, wit, and incredible insight, Alan seamlessly moves back and forth in time, integrating stories from his childhood in Scotland and his experiences today as the celebrated actor of film, television, and stage. At times suspenseful, at times deeply moving, but always incredibly brave and honest, Not My Father's Son is a powerful story of embracing the best aspects of the past and triumphantly pushing the darkness aside.

©2014 Alan Cumming (P)2014 HarperCollins Publishers

If You've Been Through Something Similar...

I think anyone who listen's to Mr. Cummings memoir will find it hard to stop. For those of us who have experienced an extremely difficult childhood this will prove to be an especially poignant listening experience. I identify with so many of the things he went through and his subsequent reaction both as a child and an adult.

Rest assured, this book is no downer. On the contrary, it is uplifting. Mr. Cummings points out how all of his experiences have contributed to the person he is today. He seems like a funny, talented, and kind soul with a zest for life.

If you already appreciate his work you will love him even more. If you aren't yet familiar with his work, this book will make want to rent his previous films.

Definitely give this one a listen.

An unforgetable, honest, inspirational story!

Would you consider the audio edition of Not My Father's Son: A Memoir to be better than the print version?

Listening to Alan Cumming relate his own story made the telling of abuse, a difficult period of revelation and the triump of spirit; learning to love himself without a father's love; and the love of his brother, mother and partner left a footprint in my heart and soul-forever! Thank-you!Your honesty will heal other victims of abuse!

What about Alan Cumming’s performance did you like?

I was in the moment of rawness, pain, joy and searching from beginning to end. He truly gave us a window into his soul! He stilll managed to provide moments of joy, laughter and gratitude. I hope the book and the reading/telling of the book eased his life and childhood pain. I am glad he found happiness, love and self worth! I will listen and watch any performance he gives! His lovely scottish lilt was musical, with a wide scale of varied, emotional nuances.

Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

I listened while I drove for 30-60 minutes at a time. I could not wait to get back to the story. However, I am not sure one could endure all the pain and emotion in one sitting. similar to War and Peace. You have to take a break to continue taking in all the human pathos and emotion! Thank you a million times for the courage you had in bringing your story to print and in also performing the book!

Any additional comments?

I first knew of Alan Cumming from the Good Wife, a politician with a hidden layer of leprochaun and mischief with sparkling, beautiful eyes. He is one of my favorite characters. then I saw his performance on the Tony's of cabaret, so I started looking him up and found out about the book and several of the plays/movies he was written, directed and starred in and about this book. So I started reading and watching all of his work available! I too had a father who created an atmosphere of mental, psychological abuse and Alan was spot on in his descriptions and a life journey to become and believe one is okay! Thanks!

The truth will set you free

The greatest read with the greatest life lessons to be reminded of. It was cathartic for me because I had a mother like his father.
Loved every minute!

A winner all around!

If you could sum up Not My Father's Son: A Memoir in three words, what would they be?

Not the average

What does Alan Cumming bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

He brings his accent and a feeling of place. His voice communicates emotion and warmth and sorrow. I definitely couldn't manufacture all that in my head.

Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

I'm not an "I laughed! I cried!" kind of person, but did have some very genuine moments of laughter, and some profound sadness as well as a range of other emotions.

Any additional comments?

This is a wonderful glimpse into the personal life of an actor, but not much having to do with the acting world (which is just fine with me - it's NOT a tell all). It's also not just a "no wire hangers!/mommy dearest" kind of book; although there are definitely proverbial wire hangers in his past. It's so much more than all of that. This is a compelling, poignant, and fascinating book, and it would be just as compelling and fascinating had it been of a normal (non-famous) person. The fact that it dovetails in the narrative with the "Who do you think you are" TV show is because Alan is famous, clearly, but the book would stand on its own even if he weren't famous. I was hooked.

Not your usual celeb memoir

This is not like most other celeb memoirs. It’s not about how Cumming became famous. It’s not about how he figured out his sexuality. It’s not about other famous people he knows.

It is about his troubled childhood. It is about coming to grips with a father who was dangerously mentally unbalanced and abusive. It is about how people make excuses for and cover up abuse, how they blame themselves for what is clearly not their fault, and how entire families can be caught up in the lies.

All of which would make for a pretty grim read, but by interspersing “Then” chapters that describe the abuse with “Now” chapters that show how Cumming has reconciled himself to his past and created a happy life for himself, he reassures us that all is not dark and eventually things come out right.

Still, the twists and turns in the narrative were as gripping as any suspense novel and hearing it all read by Cumming in his inimitable Scottish accent made for an excellent listen on a rainy weekend.

Stopped everything and just listened

What did you love best about Not My Father's Son: A Memoir?

Mr Cumming used all the literary tricks: forshadowing, a clue every now and then, a trail that goes cold and yet this is a perfectly true memoir. I am a child welfare professional and I winced and gasped as he told the story of a pretty rough childhood.

Any additional comments?

This is the story of a loving man who conquered a whole lot trouble with some stumbling, a whole lot of heart, and what appears to be profound forgiveness. It was good to get to know him. The reading is excellent.

Knew he was a great actor: story just as amazing

Any additional comments?

Bought this one on a whim, not sure what to expect of it. Thoroughly enjoyed it: an incredible story told with excellent balance. I was nervous it would be really depressing, but he managed the story with incredible poise, respect and even a great deal of humour.

& he makes the story about more than just his experience as a child: it gives a feel for his life as a whole and who he is as a person (not just an actor: but also the joyful perspective he strives to bring to every part of his life).

This is another book where I was fully ready for the possibility that I'd quit it after an hour or so, but ended up listening in pretty much one-shot. Would certainly listen to it again, as well.

Absolutely amazing

I cannot imagine what can happen to one person in a lifetime. What great discovery and self reflection. Couldn’t stop listening!

A serious story by a consummate actor.

Not always fun to hear, but important messages: it's not OK to abuse children, not even your own; abused children can recover with lots (years!) of work and therapy. I admire Alan Cumming.

Truth is better than fiction

This book more than met my expectations. It was a well told touching story about overcoming childhood terror. If you live with an angry parent, you never know what will happen from one minute to the next. Alan Cumming related his horrific relationship with his father without overkill, giving just enough detail to help the reader to see the damage wreaked on a child by an angry, out of control parent.


I loved the book and could listen to the beautiful Scot accent of Mr. Cumming forever.