Attached

The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love

By: Amir Levine, Rachel Heller

Narrated by: Robert Petkoff

"A groundbreaking book that redefines what it means to be in a relationship."
--John Gray, PhD., bestselling author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

We already rely on science to tell us what to eat, when to exercise, and how long to sleep. Why not use science to help us improve our relationships? In this revolutionary book, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller scientifically explain why why some people seem to navigate relationships effortlessly, while others struggle.

Discover how an understanding of adult attachment—the most advanced relationship science in existence today—can help us find and sustain love. Pioneered by psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s, the field of attachment posits that each of us behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways:

• Anxious people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back
• Avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness.
• Secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving.

Attached guides listeners in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mate) follow, offering a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections with the people they love.

*Includes a PDF of the attachment style questionnaire

Critic reviews

"A groundbreaking book that redefines what it means to be in a relationship."
-John Gray, PhD., bestselling author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

"Amir Levine and Rachel Heller have written a very smart book: It is clear, easy to read and insightful. It's a valuable tool whether you are just entering a relationship with a new partner or-as in my case--even after you've been married 21 years, and had thought you knew everything about your spouse."
-Mariette DiChristina, editor in chief, Scientific American

"Attached is a fascinating and enormously useful guide to one of life's most important ventures-finding and sustaining a secure, satisfying love relationship. Based on twenty-five years of research, laced with vivid and instructive examples, and enriched with interesting and well-designed exercises, the book provides deep insights and invaluable skills that will benefit every reader."
-Phillip R. Shaver, PhD, Distinguished Professor of Psychology, University of California, Davis and Past President, International Association for Relationship Research

"Cinderella's prince passionately turned his kingdom upside down simply to find her perfectly shaped foot, and they lived happily ever after. This book is for the rest of us. Whether already in a relationship or prospecting, Attached is intended to coach the "you" part of "just the two of you". The authors have distilled years of attachment theory research on the nature of human relationships into a practical, highly readable guide, allowing it's users to prevent or untangle doomed relationships or predict and enhance those that will wear well and fit for a lifetime."
-John B. Herman, M.D., Associate Chief of Psychiatry and Distinguished Scholar of Medical Psychiatry, Massachusetts General Hospital and Associate Professor of Psychiatry, Harvard Medical School

"This book is both fascinating and fun. Attached will help every reader understand whom they are attracted to as partners, why, and what they can do to reach fulfillment in love. I enjoyed every moment."
-Janet Klosko, PhD., co-author of the bestselling Reinventing Your Life

"A practical, enjoyable guide to forming rewarding romantic relationships."
-Kirkus Reviews

For those Mourning a Breakup

This helped me so much to get over a relationship and recognize what I need in a partner.

Eye opener

I have been beating myself up for months about my failed relationship with the woman I loved more than anything else in this world. I had gone to therapy with her, I had begged and pleaded, excepted her unilateral decision to move out but yet remain in a committed relationship and still never felt like she was fully open to me. Understanding that she is an avoidant to the T, immediately released the pain and guilt of thinking that I had somehow messed up or ruined our relationship. It is just what her attachment is, I’m not meant to click with that kind of attachment. I only wish that I had found this book earlier so that I could have saved myself from so much unnecessary self doubt and heartache.

Amazing

This book answered all my questions about why I had difficulty in relationships. This information has empowered me to communicate effectively. I now know my needs matter and everyone doesn’t have the capacity to meet them.

Wish I had known these things earlier in life!

Really inciteful. Found out alot about myself and my past/present companions. Offers many helpful techniques to improve one's relationship or decide to move on.

Eye Opening

I learned about myself and the people I love from this book. I am taking away a greater understanding of how to calm my anxiousness in my relationships and also to have a greater appreciation and understanding of how to communicate my needs. I did not expect all of the value and knowledge that I received from the book. I was pleasantly surprised.