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Why Does He Do That? Audiobook

Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

He says he loves you. So...why does he do that? You've asked yourself this question again and again. Now you have the chance to see inside the minds of angry and controlling men---and to change your life. In this groundbreaking book, a counselor who specializes in working with abusive men shows you how to improve, survive, or leave an abusive relationship.
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Publisher's Summary

He says he loves you. So...why does he do that? You've asked yourself this question again and again. Now you have the chance to see inside the minds of angry and controlling men---and to change your life. In this groundbreaking book, a counselor who specializes in working with abusive men shows you how to improve, survive, or leave an abusive relationship. You will learn about:

  • The early warning signs
  • Ten abusive personality types
  • The role of drugs and alcohol
  • What you can fix, and what you can't
  • How to get out of a relationship safely

©2002 Lundy Bancroft (P)2011 Tantor

What the Critics Say

"This is essential reading for those in the helping professions and highly recommended for all libraries, especially those in communities with emergency shelter programs." (Library Journal)

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.7 (211 )
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4.6 (176 )
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Performance
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  •  
    Seaira Caldwell 04-22-16 Member Since 2016
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    "This book can change the world"

    A must read for everyone. I was an abused wife so I understood from abuse from the victims perspective, but I was clueless why he did it. Now I know and it wasn't what I expected. So important for everyone to understand why he does it and what to do about it.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Amazon Customer 04-12-16 Member Since 2016
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    "powerful resource"

    Extremely insightful. Narration superb. A must read for anyone caught in the abuse cycle. Powerful resource for women being threatened by men, and for those who care about them.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jennifer Machin 03-15-16 Member Since 2013
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    "No Longer Confused!"

    Grateful to have found this book. If you have been involved with an abuser, and are looking for answers you will find them in this book. It's NOT your fault!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Robin 03-15-16
    Robin 03-15-16 Member Since 2016
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    "Being abused? Find out what to do!"

    This book has given me exactly the words to describe the emotional reactions I expirence after being beaten down by my verbally abusive man.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Tondi Mondoloka 02-26-16 Member Since 2016
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    "All I Can Say is WOW! Powerful! Covers so Much"

    Found this super insightful. Wish I had read this before. I feel empowered going forward.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    M. Hollins Atlanta, GA United States 02-04-16
    M. Hollins Atlanta, GA United States 02-04-16 Member Since 2015

    milliepat

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    "The Very Best Book for Victimized Partners"
    Would you listen to Why Does He Do That? again? Why?

    I read the book from cover to cover, everywhere in the house. It basically never left my side for one week, because I found myself amazed that there was someone out there, that actually understood how abusers create havoc inside of their partners.


    What was one of the most memorable moments of Why Does He Do That??

    "An angry and controlling man can be like a vacuum cleaner that sucks up a woman's mind and life but there are ways to get your life back. The critical decision you can make is to stop letting your partner distort the lens of your life, always forcing his way into the center of the picture. You deserve to have your life be about you; you are worth it." This is from the introduction and to read and hear these words created a change inside me, because it was the first time that anyone told me, that I was not the one causing all the problems.


    Did Peter Berkrot do a good job differentiating all the characters? How?

    He did a good job but I did not like his voice, it sounded demanding in some of the chapters.


    What’s an idea from the book that you will remember?

    I attempted to resolve marriage problems through counseling and it was extremely helpful and liberating to read that marriage counseling can not treat an abuser. "Abuse is not caused by bad relationship dynamics. You can't manage your partner's abusiveness by changing your behavior, but he want you to think that you can."


    Any additional comments?

    I probably have at least six other books about battering and have had at least 20 years of counseling, and none of these books or therapy sessions were able to resolve the effects of living with an abuser. Because not one book or counselor identified my husband as an abuser. They told me that I was the problem and all I needed to do was to act differently or move to another house and this would resolve all the problems. I call this double victimization, being victimized by my husband and then victimized by my therapist because he or she believed that verbal abuse was not a serious issue. They told me that I was depressed, so they gave me medication and counseling sessions for the purpose of resolving the depression. However treating me in this way, did nothing to stop the abuse. In fact, my husband used my therapist sessions as justification for his verbal battering. Dr. Bancroft's book, and I reading it for the third time, saved my emotional well being because he was the first person that explained how an abuser thinks and operates and why they do what they do.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    karen 01-25-16
    karen 01-25-16 Member Since 2015
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    "very helpful"

    This book helped me allot. he's right once you have a taste of life without abuse it's impossible to go back

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    motherofanimaljamfan 01-12-16 Member Since 2016
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    "Informative; Clearing up all abuser misconceptions"

    Great narrator.
    Information on abusive and manipulate people is shocking because of our socially accepted misconceptions shape our incorrect views. He has done extensive work with abusers and shares both real life examples of why our misconceptions allow the abuse to continue as well as providing proof of the real reasons the abuse happens.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    JSO 01-02-16
    JSO 01-02-16
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    4
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    "Incredible book!"

    This book has changed my life and now I see abuse for what it really is. If I had one wish, it would be that all women have the opportunity to read this book, as it would certainly change the world for the better.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Holly 12-30-15
    Holly 12-30-15 Member Since 2014
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    3
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    "Everyone Should Read This Book"

    Everyone should read this book! This is an eye opening book. The narrator did a great job, too.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful

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