Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay

By: Mira Kirshenbaum

Narrated by: Adriane McNeely

Publisher's summary

To make up or break up? Whether you’re just getting serious or have a long-term commitment, no other question causes so much heartache and self-doubt. Many other books tell you how to fix your relationship. This groundbreaking best seller is the first one to help you choose whether you should try—or you need to go.

Psychotherapist Mira Kirshenbaum draws on years of research and her work with real-life couples to help you make the right decision. She shows you how to diagnose your unique situation with self-analysis and questions like these, which get to the very heart of your problems:

What sins are forgivable and which ones unpardonable?

Is your partner questioning your opinions to the point where you doubt yourself?

What is your sex life really like, and how important is it?

Is there real love left between you, and how does it stack up against all that you find unlovable?

Mira Kirshenbaum provides expert guidelines that are the key to making all your choices, concrete steps that you can implement right now, and the ultimate way to determine your personal bottom line—what you need to be happy. This remarkably insightful and probing guide offers advice that lets you see the truth about your relationship—and with wisdom and compassion, it helps you act with the confidence of knowing that, whether you decide to go or stay, you are doing the very best thing.

©1997 Mira Kirshenbaum (P)2010 Brilliance Audio, Inc.

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Critic reviews

"[T]hreaded through the book, which is written in a sympathetic, chatty, accessible style, are validating anecdotes that dramatize how other people have experienced and responded to the same problems the reader is going through." ( Publishers Weekly)

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5 out of 5 stars

By Michelle on 12-19-11

Helped me decide whether to leave my husband

What did you love best about Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay?

I loved the question format of hte book as the author takes you through 30+ areas to examine in your relationship. It ended the going round and round in circles of guilt at wanting to leave, and fear of not wanting to leave.

What was one of the most memorable moments of Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay?

The realisation that I had mostly negative answers to the 30+ questions posed, and that I was staying out of guilt/fear and not love.

Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

No - it requires a digestion question by question

Any additional comments?

A must read for anyone who has any doubts about their relationship. It is such a relief to get clarity on whether it works or not!

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5 out of 5 stars

By Sherry on 07-23-19

great book

excellent book - thorough, addressing all points one should consider & a very fast listen.

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4 out of 5 stars

By XylinaRainingstars on 05-19-15

non judgmental approach

I really liked this book. I mean... yes, sometimes it was a little corny and i may have giggled a time or two. The message, though, is incredibly simple and on point. It very easily guides you through stories of other couples and explains what each partner felt and why. And even more valuable, it directly asks you the questions that can guide you to the answer you already know. I would recommend this book to anyone, even those not facing this choice.
I can see value in these lessons reaching even casual, work or familial relationships.

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5 out of 5 stars

By Holly on 04-12-16

I learned a lot.

I saw myself in some of the behaviors that make a relationship too bad to stay. I assumed it would be pro woman point of view but it's very fair on both sides. I realize I also have a responsibility for this mess I call a relationship. Good wake up for me.

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5 out of 5 stars

By jean-luc vorbe on 03-18-22

Don't wait for issues to arise to read

great book for anyone wanting to have a good, balanced relationship. I got plenty of tips on the boundaries I would like to have and how to adress these delicate subjects with my partner.

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5 out of 5 stars

By SDC on 11-09-23

Insightful

I’m now going to listen to this book again… My fiancée is reading it as well … we’re comparing notes as we go and it makes for insightful sharing! We shall see…

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5 out of 5 stars

By Nicole Arredondo on 01-30-24

This book really helped me.

The book made me think about a lot of things I’ve never considered and helped me make a decision and feel confident about it.

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4 out of 5 stars

By Kim on 01-26-12

Insightful

I enjoyed this book because it did not try and tell me what to do. It just gave me things to think about, and put some things in perspective. It is a good way to get out of the vicious cycle of thinking too much, because it sets a path for you to find your own answers. Just because you're ambivalent doesn't necessarily mean that things are bad OR good. It just means you need some clarity, and I think the author's questions are a good starting point for that clarity.

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5 out of 5 stars

By kathryn on 10-17-18

Really helped me resolve my relationship ambivalen

I have been ambivalent for years about my marriage. This book helped me understand that my marriage is too good to leave, and the reasons behind that logic. Now I can focus on making the marriage better for both of us in a more wholehearted approach.

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5 out of 5 stars

By BMRH on 10-17-20

Helpful guide to answers

Found this book to be a great guide to finding my own answers! Narrator was spot on in her delivery!

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