Introducing the empowering concept of the "emotional bid," Gottman shows that all good relationships are built through a process of making and receiving successful bids. His simple yet life-transforming program shows listeners how to become master bidders by effectively turning toward others. He draws on the latest research to show listeners how the brain's unique emotional command systems, as well as each person's emotional heritage - their upbringing, life experiences, and enduring vulnerabilities - affect how they make and receive bids, and how to make adjustments. He then introduces a set of enjoyable and remarkably effective ways to deepen connections by finding shared meaning and honoring one another's dreams. The final chapter offers specially tailored programs for life's most important relationships: with lovers or spouses, children, adult siblings, friends, and co-workers.
©2001 John Gottman, Ph.D., and Joan DeClaire; (P)2001 Random House, Inc.; Random House AudioBooks, a Division of Random House, Inc.
John Gottman has done extensive research on couples. He presents many practical solutions to problems in relationships. His advice applies to all relationships not just relationships with your significant other. The great thing about his advice is that you don't have to fundamentally change your style of communication.
Highly recommended. I just wish that Audible would get some of his other titles.
The Relationship cure gives valuable inside into how to make relationships work. However, the audiobook is abridged and missed large parts of the content of the original book in print.
If you truly want to take action, the print book has self tests and you can take notes more easily of the results and action steps.
The audiobook hits most of the key highlights but is lacking the very important point of your parents' style of communication that affects your preferences for communication.
John Gottman explains his research very well and it is very interesting research, very useful information. However, I found that applying his ideas were difficult presented from an oral format. For one thing, some of the ideas were still too conceptual to apply. For another, his application ideas struck me as long and time consuming and requiring planning - first do this, it may take you weeks or months to get it right, then move on to step B, etc. Listening to his book a couple times can be very insightful for information to understand your relationship. In fact, you may find it an essential foundation to build on, but if you want to improve your relationship, you may find other approaches easier to put into action.
This book gives different ways of communicating and understanding differences between individuals. Anyone who has had differences in the workplace or at home should listen to this book. It really helps!
An excellent explanation of the "bidding" description of relationships common thorugh the Gottman work I have read. Good advice for couples/marriage includes significant information and advice for other relationships too.
Most, if not all of these concepts can be better understood by reading The 5 Love Languages which is a MUCH better read, much more practically applicable to life, and way less boring.
I have not listened to many, but I am in the broadcast and production business and know that this book could have been more listener friendly with a more seasoned reader. There is charm in having the writer narrate the book, but I feel I could have gotten more from someone with more clear speech.
It gave awareness to how our interactions fuel relationships.
I disliked the poor diction.
Using the idea of bidding and how our response to the bids of others can shape our relationship.
This is very high in self-help given it's basis in scientific research
Emotional command systems
Gottman and his team have synthesized all animals, including humans, emotional landscapes into core concepts (emotional command systems) which can benefit oneself through more thorough understanding. Having come off of many books in this vein, John's approach is beyond practical, takes nonviolent communication to a post-graduate degree level of broad implementation, and is chock full of tips and tricks that will take years to master and implement. So much stuff I bought the physical book to supplement and reread and begin to master and implement.
What a pleasure! Thanks to Brene Brown for introducing me via her "Power of Vulnerability" (fantastic as well)....
Some really useful info there
The man can't pronounce the letter h.....'human' becomes 'yooouman'. Very irritating
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