Dr. George K. Simon knows how people push your buttons: your children---especially teens---are experts at it, as is your mate. A coworker may quietly undermine your efforts while professing to be helpful, or your boss may prey on your weaknesses. Manipulative people have two goals: to win and to look good doing it. Too often, those they abuse are only vaguely aware of what is happening to them. In this eye-opening book, you'll discover:
©2010 George K. Simon, Jr., Ph.D. (P)2011 Tantor
It sheds light that those victimizing others may not always do it as response to childhood abuse or insecurities, but rather because their behavior has worked for them for so long as a resource in competitions, coping, or achieving, thus they continue the behavior.
Emotional Vampires- This will help understand and consequently identify traits in others, such as the narcissist, blackmailer, or drama queen.
The voice was just about right for this type of audio book and gave listener ease at focusing on what narrator was presenting. I did giggle a bit, at a few moments, when he tried mimicking husband/wife scenarios, and their voices.
There were quite a few 'aha!' moments as I learned traits of personality types, how they might end up with each other, and why. Very enlightening.
I think this is a great listen for those that may be confused, cant quite figure out why relationships are not as one would like, or wants to understand more about motives behind certain behaviors.The author provides an unbiased review so listeners can understand traits that affect communication, jobs, and relationships.
I would highly recommend this book, especially to learn about manipulation. It is very easy to grasp and highlights how to spot manipulators quickly. It enlightened me to a situation I was in whereby I was being manipulated. I consider myself pretty sharp, but didn't realize how slippery manipulators are.
I wish the section at the end that talks about today's society was longer and maybe that should be a book 2...
Kudos on the book (which by the way, needs better cover art - forgive me) :-)
Yes. It has very good information. On the first listening I felt like a lot of the examples didn't apply to me, but I plan on listening again to see if i missed anything.
This book was able to break down some very complex and difficult ideas for a lay person to understand about the different degrees of a sociopathic personality and that they are all over our lives and society not just in prisons. There are many degrees of this personality. Describing these types of people and understanding that we know MANY of them. Our culture is creating people who think they can get away with anything they want and never have to subject themselves to consequences. They do this in both a public setting and in their private lives. If you happen to be in a significant relationship, you soon find out that if you ever dare confront them with their inappropriate behavior, you will soon reap the piles of excuses, the evasive maneuvers they use to turn it around and blame you, or worse, their wrath for daring to even think or insinuate they did anything wrong. Simon's ideas, if considered in our modern mental health culture, will revolutionize it. It's no longer about fear-based paradigms as Freud and other fathers of our mental health culture has assumed, but rather, many modern individuals don't have enough fear. They don't fear laws or consequences or the fallout their behavior inflicts on the people around them. Sociopaths (people without a moral compass or empathy) come in all shapes and forms and degrees... they are not just people in prisons. Our culture even rewards this type of personality in the tops of our societal food chains. They are our brothers, sisters, fathers, bosses, leaders, icons, etc. They can even be our kids who we raised to have so much self-esteem they no longer respect adults and authority or rules and laws. Simon even lays out an explanation of the ADD/ADHD epidemic. This problem is society's consequence for no longer holding up values and morals as the ideal. The contents of this book needs to be in our society's everyday language and especially in our modern mental health culture.
College English professor who loves classic literature, psychology, neurology and hates pop trash like Twilight and Fifty Shades of Grey.
and expecting a different result...for example, buying pop psychology books on how to deal with manipulative people. I officially give up on this genre. Where do I begin? The author rejects Freud's basic theory of neurosis for denizens of the post-Victorian era, but then steeps many of his basic ideas in outdated Freudian and neo-Freudian ideology, right down to dream interpretation. Then he throws a long line of grotesquely stereotypical female neurotics to the evil clutches of an endless line of grotesquely stereotypical abusive husbands, rapacious (male) bosses, bratty kids (who, by the way, are only imitating their fathers) and sadistic testoserone-driven super villians in order to make his facile, one-sided points from which we will be able to learn how overly-simplistic solutions will give these poor women (and presumably, his readers) the lives they have always deserved, all for the price of his little book with the clever cover. (He does everything but pass out white and black hats to the characters in his examples.) O, right... there is one manipulative woman in the workplace scenerio, but Simon does apologize for that one.
So what now that I have scrounged the bottom of the barrel for the last self-help book on how not to get messed over in my life?
Maybe FRAZIER fans will remember the advice "Dr. Nora" gave to a caller who asked her what he could do about a manipulative co-worker. "Not a damn thing," she purled with a sinister smile. "Not one damn thing." Perhaps she was right.
Absolutely! If you like to know the how's and the why's, and I guess moreover, what you can do strategically in dealing with certain personality types (i.e. manipulative in nature), then this book is worth a listen.
The author - what a brilliant mind!
Wonderful narrator - adds to the seriousness of dealing with covertly aggressive people.
I suppose those who spend alot of time in the 'self-help' aisle may enjoy this. I found it painfully boring and kept wishing he would move on and get to the point. (I've been skipping ahead and, thus far, no point in sight)
I'm finding him to be unnecessarily wordy and a bit pompous.
No thoughts here - other than the suggestion that you find someone who can properly pronounce "sadist".
Perhaps someone who could slip a bit of humor into his/her tone? The text is heavy going and the narrator just makes this worse.
This is the first time I've been really disappointed in a book from Audible. I had expected something a bit more scholarly. I gather from some other reviews that this would fall into the "self-help" category, apparently designed to make the reader feel better about him/herself. I imagine that such a spin is likely to be popular and will sell well, which actually makes the author seem a bit manipulative himself. Had I worked out in advance that this was primarily going to be "it's not you, it's him (her) and they are just not wired like most people", I would not have bought it. My bad.
I bought it to inquire into dynamics I have been observing around me. It was useful in giving me a different perspective and some good tools to approach it. Can be repetitive.
Report Inappropriate Content