Boundaries and Relationships

Knowing, Protecting and Enjoying the Self

By: Charles L. Whitfield

Narrated by: Jonathan Yen

Length: 7 hrs and 9 mins

Publisher's summary

More than personal boundaries, this book is really about relationships - healthy and unhealthy ones. Here best-selling author and psychotherapist Charles Whitfield blends theories and dynamics from several disciplines into practical knowledge and actions that your can use in your relationships right now.

This comprehensive book opens with clear definitions and descriptions of boundaries, a self-assessment survey, and a history of our accumulated knowledge. Going deeper, it describes the 10 essential areas of human interaction wherein you can improve your relationships. These include age regression, giving and receiving (projection and projective identification), triangles, core recovery issues, basic dynamics, unfinished business, and spirituality. It shows in countless practical ways how knowledge of each of these is most useful in your recovery and everyday life.

©2010 Charles L. Whitfield (P)2018 Tantor

Too many religious references

For a book about boundaries, I felt my boundaries were actually invaded by having the notion of God or we humans being “children of God” forced down my throat. Lots of interesting content though, but often getting too theoretical.

Very helpful and thorough book

I enjoyed this book. It helped me to let go of my confusion and answered a lot of questions. It was a very helpful book that I will revisit.

[Everything] "may indicate a boundary issue"

Interesting book recommended by my therapist. Definitely some good practical advice in here. There's a lot of good info on connecting with the self, recognizing boundary issues, and setting good boundaries. So if you're looking for that kind of work this is a helpful book.

I will note from other reviewers that it is helpful and necessary to have those additional PDF materials. However, it's really not hard to download them. The instructions for doing so are literally the opening of the audio book. Perhaps not being able to figure that out indicates a boundary issue or a loss of connection with self—the child within (lol).

The last thing I want to mention has been mentioned by another reviewer below. That is the religious spin that this takes from time to time. I find it particularly distracting when discussing some of the more abstract concepts of the self that are related to boundaries. Frequently the writer relies on "being a pure child of god" as justification or motivation for setting boundaries or maintaining healthy boundaries. For example: when dealing with the concept of shame, the writer suggests that being ashamed is unhelpful. But further justifies this by stating that we are "all perfect and unique in the eyes of god". Not only does this feel intellectually lazy, but as I said, it's distracting. So if you're hypersensitive to that maybe this isn't the book for you.

Always searching

Happy to realize my everlasting work on healing/FINDING myself has been somewhat successful. A very lengthy process.

Good Book

So, I was very frustrated when I read all of the reviews after I had purchased the book that there was not any reference material. But, I had already purchased the book and thought, oh well, I will listen anyways. Then at the very beginning of the book it tells you how to get the reference material. All of the people that left the 1 star reviews just never went to print the material. It took a short time to navigate to the website to print.

Others also complained about the speed or tone of the narrator... change your settings! It is very easy to speed up or slow down narration. I never listed to any of the audio books at regular speed, I always speed it up.

Regarding the content... I definitely enjoyed the content, It opened my eyes to some my own poor behaviors and helped me to recognize some of the things that I have allowed. Most of the content is focused on teaching you what poor boundaries are and how to recognize when you are engaging in that behavior. At this point, once you know the boundaries, you can begin working on fixing your part or stop allowing others being able to cross your boundaries.

Another thing that I saw on a lot of the reviews was in regards to the author pushing religious views. This is also very misconstrued. Most often the author refers to "your god of choice" or "your higher god" or something along that line. There is absolutely no religious agenda in this book.

I set a boundary and turned it off

Audio recording hard to follow as you need to have the supplemental materials in front of you. Defeats the purpose of listening to an audio recording in your car. Also author is violating a boundary by assuming you wish to have a relationship with the way he sees his god. Also he’s clearly talking about a fetus’ relationship with god which makes me think his personal beliefs/politics are leaking into a book, which should based on the title, have clear boundaries. Don’t waste your money.

Terrible

The narrator was about as dry as my grandmothers turkey this past thanksgiving. Does not make the subject matter entertaining at all. The book maybe a better pick up so you can reference the other content the narrator/book points to read. Don’t waist your time listening to this book. It will only leave you frustrated that you spent money only to have to buy the book to refer to the content he’s pointing you towards. Wish I could get my money back.

No extra pdf found — worthless

Can’t listen to the audiobook and follow along without the pdf they state comes with the book however after logging into my account and searching the book...no pdf. Made this book useless because it constantly referred to the pdf without explaining anything other than referring to numbered items on the pdf.
Don’t purchase