Funny Classic

She feels like an eternal wallflower. His father kicked him to the curb. Can two lonely hearts pen their own classic love story? Violet Fuller yearns for her own happily ever after. Certain her town contains zero leading men, the Jane Austen-adoring librarian is devastated when a potential meet cute turns into a coffee shop fiasco. So when she discovers a notice accusing her of failing to pay for the library’s renovations, the people-pleasing young woman is primed for an argument… only to discover a handsome new man in charge. Max Cavanaugh has one foot out the door. Secretly helping to...

Gothic romance at its most unhinged—now without the Victorian sentence structure from hell. What's a Sweary Classic? The complete original story—same plot, same characters, same emotional devastation—just translated into modern, hilarious, sweary language that doesn't require a literature degree to understand. Think: all the moors, revenge, and toxic romance, zero Victorian torture. Catherine Earnshaw and Heathcliff are obsessed with each other in the most destructive way possible—think soulmates if soulmates were also each other's worst enemies. They grew up together on the ...

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER “Extremely funny . . . inspired lunacy . . . [and] over much too soon.”—The Washington Post Book World Now celebrating the pivotal 42nd anniversary of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy! Nominated as one of America’s best-loved novels by PBS’s The...

Bram Stoker's vampire masterpiece—minus the formal Victorian letters that read like legal documents. What's a Sweary Classic? The complete, unabridged original story—same plot, same characters, same emotional devastation—just translated into modern, hilarious, sweary language that doesn't require a literature degree to understand. Think: all the Gothic horror, zero epistolary Victorian torture. Jonathan Harker is a young lawyer who travels to Transylvania for what should be a simple real estate transaction with a mysterious count. Instead, he discovers his client is an ancient vampire...

Small town. Big dreams. Catastrophic marriages. What's a Sweary Classic? The complete, unabridged original story—same plot, same characters, same emotional devastation—just translated into modern, hilarious, sweary language that doesn't require a literature degree to understand. Think: all the provincial drama, zero Victorian philosophizing. Dorothea Brooke wants to change the world. She's smart, idealistic, and ready to dedicate her life to social reform—until she marries Reverend Casaubon, a dried-up old scholar whose life's work is a pointless encyclopedia called The Key to All ...

A funny, charming and moving book that will keep you hooked until the end. This is the story of a cat called Mateo and his owner, a poor bricklayer who struggled to make ends meet. But it is also the story of three children and their unpredictable behaviour, and the story of an old lady and her peculiar little world, and the story of a beautiful model and her crazy boyfriend… Age 9+

NEW YORK TIMES BEST SELLER A hilarious novel of social and political intrigue, set against the glittering backdrop of Florida’s gold coast, from the author of Skinny Dip and Razor Girl “If you could use some wild escapism right now, Hiaasen is your guy.” —The New York Times WITH A...

One boy’s invented word becomes a phenomenon beyond his control in bestselling and award-winning author Andrew Clements’s hilarious classic children’s story about creative thought and the power of language. Is Nick Allen a troublemaker? He really just likes to liven things up at...

20 years lost at sea. One pissed-off god. 108 suitors about to regret everything. What's a Sweary Classic? The complete original story—same plot, same characters, same emotional devastation—just translated into modern, hilarious, sweary language that doesn't require a literature degree to understand. Think: all the epic monsters and homecoming drama, zero "rosy-fingered dawn" repetition. Odysseus pissed off Poseidon by blinding his son the Cyclops, so now he's stuck bouncing between monsters, witches, and horny goddesses for 10 years after the Trojan War. His crew keeps dying stupid ...

Horseback heresy: farts, fornication, and fraud on the road to redemption (spoiler: there is no redemption for these fools). A ragtag crew of 29 pilgrims—knights, nuns, corrupt friars, and shit-stained gutter rats—trudge from a London tavern to Canterbury Cathedral, swapping tales of lust, greed, revenge, and fart jokes. The Wife of Bath brags about her five husbands like a 14th-century Tinder pro. The Miller pukes out a blackout-drunk story. The Pardoner hawks fake relics made from pig shit while preaching against greed. The Summoner peddles hellfire pardons for silver. The stakes? One...

This program is read by the author. "Kindhearted and approachable Winkler shines in his narration of his memoir commemorating 50 years of showbiz work...An engaging and endearing memoir by a genuine Hollywood treasure whose work spans generations."—Library Journal From Emmy-award winning actor...

Now celebrating the 42nd anniversary of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, soon to be a Hulu original series! “Douglas Adams is a terrific satirist.”—The Washington Post Book World Facing annihilation at the hands of the warlike Vogons? Time for a cup of tea! Join the cosmically...

Fairy dust. Love hexes. Complete relationship chaos. What’s a Sweary Classic? The complete, unabridged original story—same plot, same characters, same emotional whiplash—just translated into modern, hilarious, sweary language that doesn’t require a Shakespeare degree to enjoy. Think: enchanted woods, messy romance, and zero patience for flowery nonsense. A Midsummer Night’s Dream is Shakespeare at his most gloriously unhinged: four lovers wandering into the woods, a bunch of magical troublemakers meddling in their love lives, and a group of working-class actors trying to stage a ...

In Leonard Wibberley's classic political satire, a tiny backwards country decides the only way to survive a sudden economic downturn is to declare war on the United States and lose to get foreign aid - but things don't go according to plan. The Mouse That Roared was made into a successful feature film starring Peter Sellers. Books in The Grand Fenwick Series: Books 2 through 5 are best read after The Mouse That Roared, but all of the books can be read and enjoyed at any point in the series. Book 1: The Mouse That Roared Book 2: The Mouse On The Moon Book 3: The Mouse On Wall Street Book 4: ...

Four children's Great books, all rolled into one. best for bedtime stories beginner / early reader poetry for kids. best animals stories, value tales

Are you ready to laugh? Are you ready to make the world laugh? HEY KIDS! Use this book to create laughs with friends. Put on a show, start a club at school or simply get together with friends. Dozens of games and variations will keep you playing for years. Like Eggo waffles, no two shows will ever be the same! PARENTS! Give the gift of laughter. Get the whole family playing together. recommended for ages 8 & up. Great for all adult fun too! THEATER PROS! Don't let these crazy times stifle your fun and creativity. Get online and play! Start a class. Put on a show. TEACHERS! Use this book as ...

Orphan. Governess. Badass. Also, her boss is hiding a wife in the attic. What's a Sweary Classic? The complete original story—same plot, same characters, same emotional devastation—just translated into modern, hilarious, sweary language that doesn't require a literature degree to understand. Think: all the Gothic romance, zero Victorian torture. Jane Eyre has had a sh*t life. Her aunt hates her, her cousins bully her, and she survives a boarding school that’s basically a tuberculosis factory. But Jane isn't a victim—she's a survivor with a spine of steel who refuses to let anyone ...

The story of what happened to Flashman, the caddish bully of Tom Brown's Schooldays, after he was expelled in drunken disgrace from Rugby school in the late 1830s...

The classic Newbery Honor book that inspired the hilarious Jim Carrey movie--and a childhood favorite book for generations. Mr. Popper's Penguins is one of the handful of American books for children that has attained the status of a classic. A humble house painter is sent a male penguin by the...

Mary Shelley's groundbreaking horror masterpiece—minus the part where you need a PhD to follow the nested flashbacks. What's a Sweary Classic? The complete original story—same plot, same characters, same emotional devastation—just translated into modern, hilarious, sweary language that doesn't require a literature degree to understand. Think: all the gothic horror, zero Victorian torture. Victor Frankenstein is a genius scientist with a terrible idea: what if he could reanimate dead tissue and create life from nothing? Spoiler alert: he succeeds. Double spoiler alert: this is the ...