Funny Classic

She feels like an eternal wallflower. His father kicked him to the curb. Can two lonely hearts pen their own classic love story? Violet Fuller yearns for her own happily ever after. Certain her town contains zero leading men, the Jane Austen-adoring librarian is devastated when a potential meet cute turns into a coffee shop fiasco. So when she discovers a notice accusing her of failing to pay for the library’s renovations, the people-pleasing young woman is primed for an argument… only to discover a handsome new man in charge. Max Cavanaugh has one foot out the door. Secretly helping to...

Gothic romance at its most unhinged—now without the Victorian sentence structure from hell. What's a Sweary Classic? The complete original story—same plot, same characters, same emotional devastation—just translated into modern, hilarious, sweary language that doesn't require a literature degree to understand. Think: all the moors, revenge, and toxic romance, zero Victorian torture. Catherine Earnshaw and Heathcliff are obsessed with each other in the most destructive way possible—think soulmates if soulmates were also each other's worst enemies. They grew up together on the ...

Lewis Carroll's surreal fantasy masterpiece—minus the part where you're not sure if any of this is supposed to make sense. What's a Sweary Classic? The complete, unabridged original story—same plot, same characters, same emotional devastation—just translated into modern, hilarious, sweary language that doesn't require a literature degree to understand. Think: all the absurdist wonder, zero Victorian torture. Alice is having the most boring afternoon of her life when she spots a talking white rabbit in a waistcoat sprinting past her, panicking about being late. Being a curious kid with...

INTERNATIONAL BESTSELLER A contemporary literary classic and "an accomplished psychological thriller ... absolutely chilling" (Village Voice), from the Pulitzer Prize–winning author of The Goldfinch. Under the influence of a charismatic classics professor, a group of clever, eccentric...

Shakespeare’s legendary tragedy—minus the part where you spend four hours wondering why this guy won't just make up his damn mind. What's a Sweary Classic? The complete original story—same plot, same characters, same emotional devastation—just translated into modern, hilarious, sweary language that doesn't require a literature degree to understand. Think: all the Danish royal drama, zero torture. Prince Hamlet is having a terrible month. His dad died under suspicious circumstances, his mom married his uncle approximately five minutes after the funeral, and now his dad’s ghost is ...

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER “Extremely funny . . . inspired lunacy . . . [and] over much too soon.”—The Washington Post Book World Now celebrating the pivotal 42nd anniversary of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy! Nominated as one of America’s best-loved novels by PBS’s The...

Fairy tales with teeth: brutal, bloody, and hilariously sweary retellings of the original Grimm classics. What's a Sweary Classic? The complete, original stories—same plots, same twisted morals, same body horror—just translated into modern, hilarious, sweary language that doesn't require a literature degree to understand. Think: all the dark fairy tale chaos, zero sanitized Disney bullshit. Cinderella's stepsisters cut off their own heels and toes to fit the glass slipper. Hansel and Gretel get abandoned in the woods, find a witch's candy house, and burn her alive in her own oven. Snow ...

NEW YORK TIMES BEST SELLER A hilarious novel of social and political intrigue, set against the glittering backdrop of Florida’s gold coast, from the author of Skinny Dip and Razor Girl “If you could use some wild escapism right now, Hiaasen is your guy.” —The New York Times WITH A...

Mary Shelley's groundbreaking horror masterpiece—minus the part where you need a PhD to follow the nested flashbacks. What's a Sweary Classic? The complete original story—same plot, same characters, same emotional devastation—just translated into modern, hilarious, sweary language that doesn't require a literature degree to understand. Think: all the gothic horror, zero Victorian torture. Victor Frankenstein is a genius scientist with a terrible idea: what if he could reanimate dead tissue and create life from nothing? Spoiler alert: he succeeds. Double spoiler alert: this is the ...

Bram Stoker's vampire masterpiece—minus the formal Victorian letters that read like legal documents. What's a Sweary Classic? The complete, unabridged original story—same plot, same characters, same emotional devastation—just translated into modern, hilarious, sweary language that doesn't require a literature degree to understand. Think: all the Gothic horror, zero epistolary Victorian torture. Jonathan Harker is a young lawyer who travels to Transylvania for what should be a simple real estate transaction with a mysterious count. Instead, he discovers his client is an ancient vampire...

One boy’s invented word becomes a phenomenon beyond his control in bestselling and award-winning author Andrew Clements’s hilarious classic children’s story about creative thought and the power of language. Is Nick Allen a troublemaker? He really just likes to liven things up at...

An out-of-work actor accepts the role of a lifetime—sitting soundlessly in a lecture theater, zipped into a large leather bag—to aid a professor’s psychological experiment. What could possibly go wrong? In Luke Kennard’s audacious new novel, a penniless and out-of-work actor picks up a...

The classic Newbery Honor book that inspired the hilarious Jim Carrey movie--and a childhood favorite book for generations. Mr. Popper's Penguins is one of the handful of American books for children that has attained the status of a classic. A humble house painter is sent a male penguin by the...

Brought to you by Penguin. Over 1 million Discworld audiobooks sold – discover the extraordinary universe of Terry Pratchett’s Discworld like never before. The audiobook of Raising Steam is narrated by Richard Coyle, who starred as Moist von Lipwig in the television adaptation of Going...

Now celebrating the 42nd anniversary of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, soon to be a Hulu original series! “Douglas Adams is a terrific satirist.”—The Washington Post Book World Facing annihilation at the hands of the warlike Vogons? Time for a cup of tea! Join the cosmically...

Selected by the Modern Library as one of the 100 best novels of all time "[One morning] in the early spring, I woke up with the remembrance of a girl I'd once known, Sophie. It was a very vivid half-dream, half-revelation, and all of a sudden I realized that hers was a story I had to tell." That...

One of NPR's Best Books of the Year: This darkly funny and provocative novel reimagines classic fairy tale characters as modern women in a support group for trauma. In present-day New York City, five women meet in a basement support group to process their traumas. Bernice grapples with the...

In Leonard Wibberley's classic political satire, a tiny backwards country decides the only way to survive a sudden economic downturn is to declare war on the United States and lose to get foreign aid - but things don't go according to plan. The Mouse That Roared was made into a successful feature film starring Peter Sellers. Books in The Grand Fenwick Series: Books 2 through 5 are best read after The Mouse That Roared, but all of the books can be read and enjoyed at any point in the series. Book 1: The Mouse That Roared Book 2: The Mouse On The Moon Book 3: The Mouse On Wall Street Book 4: ...

This program is read by the author. "Kindhearted and approachable Winkler shines in his narration of his memoir commemorating 50 years of showbiz work...An engaging and endearing memoir by a genuine Hollywood treasure whose work spans generations."—Library Journal From Emmy-award winning actor...

In this Regency rom-com, when a Duke and a reporter team up to uncover his family’s secrets, their search brings up more than they bargained for—including their feelings for each other. Diana Merriwell and Giles Sinclair only tolerate one another for the sake of their nearest and dearest...