Showing results by narrator "Johnny Heller" in All Categories

Experienced language arts teacher Kevin Bolger knows the types of stories kids devour. His popular Sir Fartsalot Hunts the Booger was called “Don Quixote for nine-year-olds, filtered through Captain Underpants and Monty Python” ( Quill and Quire). In Zombiekins, wimpy fourth-grader Stanley Nudelman spends a lot of time hiding from school bully Knuckles Bruzkowski.

Chris West’s deadly prowess with his weapon of choice had earned him the name Red Axe in the Stone Age world of Pellucidar at the Earth’s core. Sentenced to die along with the woman he loved by the merciless Mahars, West had fought his way free of the lethal laboratories and ghastly arenas of their underground city. Now he must carve a path for his small band of fugitives through a primordial landscape teeming with monstrous beasts and brutish men bent on their destruction.

In 1978, Kim "Howard" Johnson ran away to join the circus - Monty Python's Flying Circus, that is. The Pythons converged on Tunisia to film their timeless classic Life of Brian, and Howard found himself in the thick of it, doubling for nearly all the Pythons, playing more roles in the film than John Cleese, and managing to ruin only one shot. He became the unit journalist, substitute still photographer, Roman soldier, peasant, near-stalker, and, ultimately, friend and confidant of the comedy legends.

Willful and high-spirited, exerting his independence at every turn, 10-year-old Robert "Robbie" Burns Hewitt plans to live life to the fullest - because the world is going to end at the turn of the century anyway! The year 1900 is fast approaching. Robbie decides that living by The Ten Commandments, which have been drilled into his head by his preacher father, is not meant for him - since he "ain’t got the knack for holiness." On his quest to be his own person, he stirs up trouble daily.

P. N. Elrod's novels of The Vampire Files blend the seductive shadows of classic noir into a sanctuary for a most unusual private investigator-vampire Jack Fleming. In Elrod's newest novel, Jack is under the gun when the New York mafia wants his hide, and the love of his life is wanted for murder.

James Madison is remembered primarily as a systematic political theorist, but this bookish and unassuming man was also a practical politician who strove for balance in an age of revolution. In this biography, Jeff Broadwater focuses on Madison’s role in the battle for religious freedom in Virginia, his contributions to the adoption of the Constitution and the Bill of Rights, his place in the evolution of the party system, his relationship with Dolley Madison, his performance as a wartime commander-in-chief, and his views on slavery.

It’s the week before Valentine’s Day. All the students in Room 2B are thinking about wearing red, passing out valentines, and having a class party. With all the plans for fun, nothing horrible could happen, could it? But before the day is over, Sydney has made Harry mad. When he finds out why Sydney is bugging him, Harry hatches a big plan. It is silly, outrageous - and perfect for Valentine’s Day! Students, teachers, and parents all love Suzy Kline’s series about Horrible Harry and the other busy members of class 2B.

You see your children every day. You have a handle on their lives, right? But do you know how to read the undercurrents? Can you spot the subtle signs of potentially addictive behavior? Is there a touch of violence hidden in your child? This book shows the exact key behaviors, activities, and personality changes to look for in your child that point to brewing trouble. Designed for every parent with teenagers today, this is the only book that provides honest answers to the questions you have about your child and drug abuse, alcohol and binge drinking, violence and bullying, gambling, and depression and suicide.

Flash Gordon is kidnapped and forced to perform as a trapeze artist in a circus of slaves. Flash foils his captors and forms an expedition to end the tyranny on the planet Mesmo.

Sent on a mission to investigate the mysterious reappearance of the Interstellar Exploration ship GOODHOPE, Colonel Flash Gordon and his companions, Dale Arden and Dr. Hans Zarkov, discover much more than they had bargained for. Stranded in deep space, the trio find themselves drawn against their will into a war of worlds which has lasted thousands of years...and which threatens the very existence of the planet Earth.

Award-winning toy maker Tim Kehoe - creator of the world’s first colored bubbles - pens a funfilled tale about a brilliant young inventor. When Vincent Shadow moves from New York to Minnesota, he is forced to leave behind most of the toys he created in his lab. Worse yet, he no longer experiences the visions that have always given him ideas. Down in the dumps, Vincent catches a break when he meets toy creator Howard G. Whiz, who is sponsoring an invention contest.

Vampire P.I. Jack Fleming is playing babysitter to Gabriel "Whitey" Kroun, a dangerously unstable mobster-and newly-created vampire-with deadly secrets to hide. As Jack tries to unravel the mystery surrounding Kroun's undead state, he gets caught between his charge's violent outbursts and some syndicate torpedoes looking to rub them both out, leaving him vulnerable to an even deadlier threat- the return of an old enemy desperate to unlock the secrets of Jack's vampire immortality.

The school year is ending, and Song Lee has invited Harry and some other classmates to an amusement park for a party. Everyone is looking forward to the rides: canoeing down the waterfall on Kasploosh Mountain, enjoying the '60s music and cars on Main Street, and floating through the Haunted House. But when Sydney starts talking about the newest ride, the Drop of Doom, Harry turn pale. It is an elevator that falls 13 floors! Harry usually loves horrible things. Why isn’t he excited about the Drop of Doom?

Cops in Oakland seldom meet people whose lives are going well. That's certainly the case when homicide sergeant Matt Sinclair recognizes the dead woman hanging from a tree as a teenage runaway named Dawn he arrested 10 years before. And as Sinclair and his partner, Cathy Braddock, soon learn, many of Dawn's clients, not to mention the local and federal officials who protect them, will go to any length to keep the police from digging too deep into her past.

Brand-new stories by: Daniel Woodrell, Matthew Eck, Catherine Browder, Nancy Pickard, John Lutz, J. Malcolm Garcia, Kevin Prufer, Linda Rodriguez, Nadia Pflaum, Phong Nguyen, Andres Rodriguez, and others. Kansas City: where East and West collide, where naked ambition meets broken dreams, where blues and the night go together like rye whiskey, vermouth, and bitters. Yes, Kansas City is a surprising place of grit, gore, and betrayal, at least in the imaginations of our diverse lineup of contributors.

One day in October, Miss Mackle brings a comfy sofa into her classroom. Horrible Harry and the other students love the bright yellow moons that decorate its covering. Soon the whole class starts gathering information about the moon. The students wish they had a telescope, so they could really study the moon. Join Horrible Harry and his friends as they find a way to have their very own moonwatch. Of course, Horrible Harry is also planning a surprise for the class! The four adventures in Horrible Harry Goes to the Moon are sure to keep young readers laughing out loud.

Everyone knows that honest, brave George Washington was one of America's greatest heroes. But one thing about George that people don't always know is that he loved animals. He even took one of his dogs with him when he went to lead America's army against the British in the Revolutionary War. And when George discovered a lost dog after a great battle and learned who the owner was, what he did surprised and delighted people all over the world.

Amos Barshad has long been fascinated by the powerful. But not by elected officials or natural leaders - he's interested in their scheming advisors, the dark figures who wield power in the shadows. And, as Barshad shows in No One Man Should Have All That Power, the natural habitat of these manipulators is not only political backrooms. It's anywhere power dynamics exist - from Hollywood to drug cartels, from recording studios to the NFL.

Anna Marie St. Clair was a normal Wisconsin-farm-girl-turned-mistress when she was framed for the murder of her racketeer boyfriend, one of Chicago’s sleaziest politicians. Sentenced to death, and only hours from getting fried, a lucky hitch sets Anna Marie free, but she blackmails the corrupt warden into informing the tabloids that she took her volts like a real trouper. What better payback than to haunt the lives of those who tried to steal hers? As the shapeliest ghost in the Windy City, she’s going to prove that dying well is the best revenge.

One of the kids in Room 3B is breaking the rules - and this time, it's not Horrible Harry! There is a sub in Room 3B for the day, and all she cares about is following the rules. So when Harry gets caught playing with the origami pig Song Lee has made for her grandmother, the strict teacher puts the pig straight into the June Box - a "jail" where toys are held captive until the end of the school year. Desperate to rescue her pig, Song Lee does something unthinkable. And both she and Harry end up facing the consequences.