Dr. Susan Landers retired from her work as a neonatologist – a career that spanned 34 years. But alas, although “retired” Dr. Susan found, “I just could not sit still.” Sharing compelling stories from her medical practice with her book club members, as she shouldered the heavy load of raising a family, her cohort encouraged her Susan to write about her experiences. As such, Susan went from birthing babies to birthing a book, and in 2021, So Many Babies: My Life Balancing a Busy Medical Career and Motherhood. was born. 

I thoroughly enjoyed my conversation with Dr. Susan  – smart, thoughtful, and reflective, she shared the evolution of how she came to understand how she grew a successful career, stayed married, and raised 3 children. She describes her journey through the decades. 

Dr.Susan’s husband, Phillip, a practicing physician in his own right (Pediatrics) did a lot around the house when the kids were young but Susan recognized that she was carrying the bulk of the physical work and the mental load of emotional labor. She said it took her 10 years to figure out how to ask for help because before asking for help she was growing resentful of all that was on her plate, and Philip did not intuitively know how to partner with her in the household. And so she had to learn to identify the need and ask for help. The second decade of marriage was all about helping Philip learn to listen, instead of wanting to fix things. Which brought the couple to a new and more sustainable way to communicate.  

In this, her fourth decade of marriage and just a few years out of a fulfilling career, Dr. Susan Love speaks to women in the struggle to find their footing amidst a culture that expects women to do all the work. To that end, aside from her book, Dr Landers offers cool, and very accessible Ebooks – free to download – resources for parents – to discover real conversations about, and real hacks for, finding that footing, and feel steady on solid ground. 

David Smith is an Associate Professor of Sociology at Johns Hopkins University.  Carey Business School. I came across his name when I read a review for his second book, Good Guys: How Men Can Be Better Allies for Women in the Workplace  (Harvard Business Review Press, 2020). 
 

What I find remarkable and special about David, was learning about his “why.” When I asked how he came to understand the need for gender equity in the paid workplace, Dr. David told me the story about his, and his wife’s 1987 graduation from the Naval Academy – both leaving the institution with the same degrees and embarking on parallel careers. It didn’t take him long to understand that where he had unlimited and easy access to career advancement resources, his wife was given no such access and was forced to find her way in order to advance her career. Consequently his doctoral research in Sociology examined dual-career families which led to his first book, along with co-author, Dr. Brad Johnson, Athena Rising: How and Why Men Should Mentor Women.
 
David’s work today focuses on gender equity within organizations and how all gender equity begins in the home. His research shows that men who worked from home during the pandemic enjoyed the benefits of connecting with their family life in deeper and meaningful ways. To maintain that connection from the office – they “leave loudly” for their family obligations – walking out the front door, and announcing to bosses and co-workers that they have to run their kids to soccer practice or be with them at the dentist. Men “leaving loudly” has given rise to women doing the same – rather than heading out the backdoor hoping no one will notice that you have a dental appointment with your child – dads’ deepening relationships at home make it okay, and safer, for women to do the same thing. It was this conversation, and so much more, that made me feel more positive than I have about reaching gender equity at home which David believes can be realized within the next generation, so long as the paid workplace can provide employees with the flexibility to show-up authentic humans with family responsibilities despite and in spite, of their gender. 

Find out more about David here:

Website: workplaceallies.com
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/davidgsmithphd/

Ingrid Jansen is a friend, colleague, and gifted entrepreneur based in London. Ingrid co-founded, with her pal Lesley Spellman, The De-Clutter Hub, an online membership platform for cluttered folks needing the support to make their way from chaos to clarity. The two women host a podcast with 1.5 million downloads, and they host a FaceBook group with 18 thousand members. It goes without saying these women are a force of nature. And so, it was my great good future to catch up with Ingrid.

We talked about her client base, “95% women!” and their biggest pain point, “Overwhelm!” and the weight and volume of the emotional labor needed to make everyone around them feel safe and happy. Which of course is very valuable, but Ingrid’s insightfulness brings her clients to finally start asking, “Why do I feel like I have to do so much? Why am I so giving to everyone, but not to me?”

Shifting that dynamic, Ingrid tells me, requires communication, collaboration, and outsourcing if you can do it. Ingrid incorporates to plant the seeds of success with words of praise, “You’ve got so much going on and/but look at what an amazing job you ARE doing and give yourself the credit you deserve. I want to help people live the life they want to live.” When I asked Ingrid for any parting thoughts  she encouraged our listeners to stop comparing ourselves to other people’s idea of “perfect,” and feel happy and comfortable with your idea of “good enough.”  I just loved that.

Listen to Ingrid's Declutter Podcast here: https://declutterhub.com/the-podcast/