Chumi Friedman
Director of HUG, a division of A Time for those who have experienced perinatal or infant loss

· My sister-in-law had a stillborn. The one-year mark is coming up. Should I say something to her?

· My brother lost an eleven-year-old son. But he was very special-needs. His bar mitzvah is coming up; they wouldn’t have made a real celebration anyway. Should I say something?

· Does it make sense that my sister-in-law doesn’t want to talk about her loss while my brother-in-law wants to talk nonstop? I thought men are more reticent.

· Is it better to say something cliché or just to say nothing?

These questions and more are posed to Mrs. Chumi Friedman all the time. There is no “one-answer-fits-all” here. She doesn’t know the person you are wondering about. But you do. Come listen and hopefully gain some valuable insights.

https://www.chevrahlomdeimishnah.org/product/i-wish-someone-would-have-told-me-a-book-for-teens-who-have-lost-a-parent/

https://www.chevrahlomdeimishnah.org/product/i-wish-someone-would-have-told-my-friends/

Some of the podcasts that receive the most feedback are those that delve into complex relationships. It might seem that if a relationship is challenging or even painful, losing a loved one within that dynamic wouldn't be as difficult or would provide a measure of relief. However, more often than not, that assumption doesn't hold true. In fact, the loss of a loved one within a difficult relationship can be even harder to navigate than when someone is in a typical relationship.

Shira had complicated relationships with much of her family. But her father was always her supporter and cheerleader. The news of his illness was completely devastating for her, and it made the dynamics with her siblings more complicated than ever. Sometimes she felt as if they made decisions about her father’s treatment just to spite her. It was so hard and so hurtful.

After his petirah she sat shivah by herself, without her family. Now she holds onto the memories of the special moments she had with her father – the one thing that no one can take away from her.

Grief hurts. But as crazy as it sounds, my hope is that the only kind of grief anyone should ever experience is grief from losing someone within a normal, beautiful relationship.

https://www.chevrahlomdeimishnah.org/product/i-wish-someone-would-have-told-me-a-book-for-teens-who-have-lost-a-parent/

https://www.chevrahlomdeimishnah.org/product/i-wish-someone-would-have-told-my-friends/

Mrs. Esther Gendelman, MS, LPC, ACS
Mrs. Esther Gendelman’s passion is to help people foster meaningful relationships. There is no such thing as a perfect person, which means there’s also no such thing as a perfect relationship, although some relationships feel rock solid. Yet loss can impact even the strongest relationships with ripples of uncertainty.

A mother can feel so confused as she watches her daughter navigate the pain of losing a child.Where is her place in all this? And does her pain as a grandmother count at all? Similarly, after a wife loses a parent, her husband may be confused by her changes in behavior and mood swings. Loss affects not only immediate family members but also extends its reach to siblings,neighbors, and friends.

In the wake of profound loss, individuals may find themselves navigating uncharted territory in their relationships. Moreover, if relationships were already strained before the loss, the added burden can exacerbate existing struggles.

Listen to Mrs. Gendelman as she speaks with much wisdom and understanding. Relationships can be complicated. But that doesn’t mean they can’t be wonderful.

https://www.chevrahlomdeimishnah.org/product/i-wish-someone-would-have-told-me-a-book-for-teens-who-have-lost-a-parent/

https://www.chevrahlomdeimishnah.org/product/i-wish-someone-would-have-told-my-friends/