In this episode, Julie and Ginger welcome Ingrid Cockhren into the studio to discuss parenting in today’s society…or, as Dr. Gabor Mate calls it, Horticulture on the Moon.

Dr. Gabor Mate, a renowned expert, brings a unique perspective to the table. He points out that Western society has taught us to ignore our parenting instincts. He cites indigenous parenting practices as examples, which were more likely to meet the infant’s needs while supporting the mother and family with the community. We echo his sentiments. Our current culture often makes raising children a challenging task, akin to cultivating plants on the moon.

Ingrid Cockhren, M.Ed., is a seasoned professional with a career spanning two decades. Her expertise in stress, trauma, and human development has allowed her to transform her research and knowledge into trauma-informed and healing-centered solutions for communities, workplaces, and organizations. Her diverse roles in juvenile justice, family counseling, early childhood education, professional development and training, and community education further underline her comprehensive understanding of the subject.

Ingrid states, “As long as we continue to focus on individual wants and desires and not the collective public good, then we will continue to have struggles, and our society pushes for those individual wants and desires. We are mainly driven by consumerism and capitalism and the pursuit of individual liberty and happiness. These are our founding principles, but what is required when we have children is the village, the collective. This is in opposition to the values that go along with our society. As long as we continue down this path of putting the individual's wants and desires ahead of the collective good then we will continue to have environments that are not conducive to parenting."

You can find more from Ingrid here

https://cockhrenconsulting.com/

In his book, The Myth of Normal, Dr. Gabor Mate points out that all children have 4 irreducible needs:

• a sense of security
• trust in the world
• interrelationships with others
• connection to your authentic emotions…

And the way that they get these needs met is the availability of an attuned, non-stressed and emotionally reliable caregiver. The more stressed or distracted the caregiver, then the shakier the emotional architecture of the child’s mind will be.

And that’s the crux of it all…how do we set up parents and families to be able to be those attuned, non-stressed and emotionally available caregivers?

Julie and Ginger want to share this message from Dr. Mate and talk about how it aligns with so much of what ATN believes about Attachment being the Antidote, but also about how we have to advocate for what families need in today’s society.

We highly recommend The Myth of Normal by Gabor Mate, MD and Daniel Mate

In this episode, Julie and Ginger talk with Rabbi Heather Altman about Attachment, Yoga, and Somatic Experiencing. She is a trauma specialist and a parent coach. She specializes in disruptive behavior in families. Her goal is to help her clients experience more comfort, more calm, and more compassion in their lives. She helps families develop deeper connections between the parents and children. Isn’t that what we all want.

AND … she is mother of triplets!!!!

Heather says that “We need to find some level of OKness. Pleasure and joy are a goal, but OKness is actually OK.”

Listen in to learn more about somatic experiencing. Find out what it is and how Heather combines that with yoga.