I see a clear rise in the number of women who say they are abstaining from physical intimacy. This can make dating difficult. I understand this personally!

It makes it even MORE difficult when you’re not really being honest with yourself and/or others about WHY you’re abstaining.

Here are some things to consider if you are dating while abstaining, and hopefully it is also helps men understand what questions to ask, where women are coming from in general, and how to navigate the conversation better

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Most people dating seem to be WAY more concerned with what they’re getting rather than what they can give!

Everyone is in relationships to fulfill some kind of personal goal but it becomes selfish and toxic when you lose sight of how you can support and nourish the one you’re with.

Today we’re talking about GIVING and RECIPROCATION.

I’m highlighting 5 ways YOU can reciprocate in a relationship so you can check how well you’re doing with things you can directly control TODAY.

References:

Obesity data:
https://www.cdc.gov/obesity/data/adult.html

https://minorityhealth.hhs.gov/obesity-and-african-americans#:~:text=How%20Does%20Obesity%20Affect%20African,women%20are%20overweight%20or%20obese.

Infertility: https://www.nichd.nih.gov/health/topics/infertility/conditioninfo/common#:~:text=About%209%25%20of%20men%20and,States%20have%20experienced%20fertility%20problems.&text=In%20one%2Dthird%20of%20infertile,problem%20is%20with%20the%20man.

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Manipulation Tactics - How to Spot Them and What to Do About It

What is DARVO?
DENY
ATTACK
REVERSE
Effects of DARVO
Resist DARVO

References:
https://www.choosingtherapy.com/darvo/

https://bayareacbtcenter.com/reverse-darvo-for-combating-gaslighting-and-emotional-abuse/#:~:text=What%20Is%20DARVO%3F,the%20blame%20onto%20their%20victims.

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This episode is a conglomerate of a few topics!

-There’s a difference between wanting a relationship and being Ready for a relationship. Your emotional availability makes all the difference.

-Many women can function well on their own, but still don’t have the relationship they really want. Let’s talk about some of the things that need to change in order to set yourself up for the man you’re looking for.

-Men can be giving out way too much of themselves to others in an effort to be helpful and provide. However, this leaves him drained and unavailable for the woman he really wants. Listen in on what he can do about that.

-While you’re single, how can you spend time most effectively?

-In order to have space for a new person, you’ve got to get rid of the old. Let’s talk about letting go, forgiveness, and those tricky ‘soul ties’ that may be holding you back.

Let’s work together 1-on-1: https://mkd8uhsug6i.typeform.com/to/teluZNqP

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When you become aware of how your childhood has impacted your adulthood, angry feelings arise towards your parents.

You realize your anxiety or your avoidance is directly related to how you have experienced your mother and father.

It’s common to have conflicted feelings.

You may struggle with loving them and resenting them. Having empathy for their experiences and feeling the pain of how their experiences have negatively affected the way they related to you.

Or you may be less conflicted and more enraged. You want them to feel what you feel.

Or you might be less enraged and more disconnected. The anger became too exhausting.

Regardless of where you are now, I hope this episode gives language and validity to the anger associated with having parents who did not parent you in a way that gave you that you needed emotionally.

**At around minute 15:00 I should have included the BOOMERS with Gen X'ers

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We experience frustration and pain when the position someone has in our life does not match our experience of them.

For example -

You can have a mother who you do not experience as mothering.

A father who does not treat you like a son or daughter.

A spouse who treats you like a stranger.

_

One of the goals of this video is to help you make a distinction between Role and Relationship so that you are better able to locate where your negative emotions are likely coming from.

I will also give you l ideas about how to resolve this problem!

Thank you for your support!

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Q&A from Dec 2023 about dating and relationship topics:

Including -

Serious Dating

What does it meant to be “Exclusive”

Passport bros

How to soften your communication

“What do you bring to the table?”

Toxic friends

Effort in dating

Defensiveness

Vetting

Why people lie

Relationship goals

Casual physical intimacy

*Let’s work together (1-on-1): https://mkd8uhsug6i.typeform.com/to/teluZNqP

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Attachment Wounds are the experiences that serve as catalysts for Insecure Attachment.

I’m going to define specific Attachment Wounds, describe the effect of those wounds, and point you in the direction you need to go in to heal these wounds.

If you don't, these wounds bleed out into your present relationships (whether platonic or romantic, but especially romantic) and negatively effect your chances of having a healthy, happy connection.

KEY WORDS: emotional intelligence, emotional maturity, rejection, abandonment, relationship trauma, projection, insecure attachment, secure attachment, emotional needs

Let’s work together (1-on-1): https://mkd8uhsug6i.typeform.com/to/teluZNqP

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