You're Never Ready for a Zombie Apocalypse

Guardians of the Apocalypse, Book 1

By: Jeff Thomson

Narrated by: Matthew Crow

Length: 10 hrs and 54 mins

Publisher's Summary

The crew of the USCG Buoy Tender Sassafras, out of Honolulu, has embodied the Coast Guard’s motto: Always ready, in every mission, every circumstance, every crazy thing mother nature and the US government has seen fit to dump in their laps. They’ve been doing so much, with so little, for so long, they feel ready to face anything. But then, they’ve never had to face a zombie apocalypse.

©2018 Jeffrey S. Thomson (P)2020 Jeffrey S. Thomson

frustrated at times

the performance was excellent. The story takes a while to get going and even when it does the actions taken during a zombie outbreak can be seriously frustrating. The sexual tension is kind of forced also adding to the annoyance. the real kicker though is as all leftist authors, he just had to froth at the mouth about trump, Christians, Republicans, etc. He at very least waited to do it towards the end of the book. It's a zombie apocalypse, I dont want to hear about politics at all when I'm reading horror. This is why I have given a negative review, because that is after all what the authors rhetoric is meant to do, piss half the audience off.

not a good apocalypse book

It is bogged down by the author trying to be funny all the time. The worst part of it is the "he/it" thing that keeps going on till the end. At 1st it was kind of cute, but it keeps going on. Every time the author does this it slows down the pace of the story to the point that it just takes you out of the story completely. All the parts of the book that are supposed to be action are brought down by this foolishness.

Enjoyable Listening

This was a thoroughly entertaining listening experience, Jeff Thomson is a writer I hope to continue reading/listening to the books to follow in this continuing story. Matthew Crow does a fine job of reading to us. I received this audio book for free in a promo, and I am voluntarily writing this review.

Excellent addition to the genre

The title is aptly named. You're Never Ready for a Zombie Apocalypse, it's well-plotted, well-written, witty, humorous, exciting, and entertaining. Definitely, an excellent start to the series. The storyline follows various characters, and you get insight as to who they are and their roles in the overall plot. Jeff Thomson has done an exceptional job with the cast; they were well-developed, realistic, diverse, and some quite interesting. Furthermore, Thomson created realism by incorporating his expertise and personal knowledge of the Coast Guard culture into the story.

A stellar performance by Matthew Crow, he captured the narrative and the characters flawlessly. He is a talented narrator with the ability to use a wide range of tones to depict the distinct personalities. You're Never Ready for a Zombie Apocalypse is an excellent addition to the genre, one I highly recommend to the zompoc enthusiasts.

Gripping audio book

I’ve never listened to or read a book where the end of the world is portrayed on the water. I have to say the difference in location was refreshing. I loved how the book is told from a couple different parties and at every twist and turn you really do t know who will survive or what will happen. Can’t wait to listen to the next. The narrator did a wonderful job bringing this book to life.

loved it

laughed from beginning to end :) I need to write more it says. happy listening

Really enjoyed

I am a fan of post apocalyptic fiction. I found this book a little slow to start and hard to follow the different characters. But it got better and better. I was really enjoying the book until poof...it was gone, leaving me wanting for more. Matthew Crow does a great job with both male and female characters and I find him a pleasure to listen to. I will be buying book 2 to continue my journey.

Coast Guard for the win!

Most zombie books seem to focus on 2 primary character types. The average family/person or the military. Yet, I can’t remember a single Coast Guard member ever being featured prominently in any of those books. If I missed someone, sorry. But that’s the point. Jeff Thomson fixes that. Following the crew of the Sassafras, we meet a group of true heroes. A blend of personalities that you’d find on many C.G Cutters. They are, mostly, very likable and relatable. There’s always that one jerk. The zombies are a nice break from the traditional zombie. No spoilers. Get this book. Hop on board and set sail on a Fantastic Voyage! A bloody voyage. But fantastic, nonetheless. 5 Stars!

It's The Waking Dead meats The Last Ship

Amazing book. I'm not exaggerating when I say it was better than World War Z. I especially loved the sense of humor in the middle of all the bloodshed:)

Fast paced, descriptive thrill fest of the zombie apocalypse

Great dialogue, well formed characters, and fast paced zombie killing thrill fest. I was unfamiliar with a lot of the USCG terminology but it did not prevent me from enjoying the book thanks to the author’s masterful storytelling.

really surprised

I didn't know what to expect going into this book. I was pleasantly surprised and have already got the next book in the series.

Really enjoyed the plot and pace of the story, well narrated as well.

Zombies ahoy!

An entertaining read with a good concept, I really enjoyed most of the characters, a couple I 'loved to hate'! Molly and Jonesy were a blast, but Uncle John was way too soft on his kids, they needed a reality check. I was totaly absorbed, and so disapointed when I'd finished I can't wait for book 2, and another chance to enjoy Matthew Crow's toe curling voice. I received this book in exchange for my honest review.

amazing

everything about this is superb.
could not put it down.
a absolute must listen.
excellent.

Very Exciting Zombie Apocalypse Adventure

I really enjoyed the first book in the Guardians of the Apocalypse series by Jeff Thomson, the plot was exciting and the action was almost non-stop from beginning to the end. The narration by the excellent Matthew Crow was really superb.
I am just about to start the second in the series and I hope that it is as exciting as the first.

Decent Enough

This audiobook was a decent take on zombie apocalypse as being on lifeboats and the main characters are coastguards. I didn’t know how this would work into a full length book but it worked.

There’s quite a few boats mentioned and as always one bad guy/guys in a boat. The apocalypse happens roughly 1/4 of the way through the book once you’re introduced to the characters which carries on throughout the story which carries on at a decent pace.

The narration was good enough and helped the story.

Recommended if you’re into the zombie apocalypse genre as it’s different in a good way.

Zombie in the sun

I know I like it a lot because normally I only listen to my audiobooks while walking to or from work and on break this one I’m listening to rather than watching TV.
This audiobook kept me guessing and wounding what was going to happen next the whole time and the characters were great and the setting felt very real to me I can’t wait to get book 2.

A Really good dose of Zombie 🧟‍♂️

I really enjoyed this story was a great listen had it all Zombie / humor / violence. Nobody seems safe. Can't wait for the next installment. The narration was great seamless and fit the story. A++ 👍