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Von Neumann's War
- Narrated by: Chris Henry Coffey
- Length: 13 hrs and 58 mins
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Ranging from rocket design to brilliant paranoids to "in your face" fighting in Iraq, Von Neumann's War is a fast-paced look at what would happen if the earth was attacked by a robot race that, quite accidentally, was bent on destroying civilization.
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What listeners say about Von Neumann's War
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
- Brandon Trumbo
- 11-08-20
Okay story.
Excessive amounts of cussing, even from non-military characters. Some of the characters were so hard to differentiate I gave up keeping them straight and started grouping them. At one point I thought one character was male who turned out to be female.
45 people found this helpful
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- Benjamin
- 02-16-21
Pretty darn amazing.
Every John Ringo book I read, I enjoy, but this one has a special place in my heart. But what stands apart is the humor, delivered perfectly by the narrator. The characters are so unique they're funny and that humor diffuses the stress of aliens taking over planet Earth.
Ringo's innate insights to military, government and skunkworks affairs are amazing.
Amazon, please produce every book in the series and finish the council Wars! :)
19 people found this helpful
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- Snuggle Pumpkin
- 10-21-20
I have been wait for this to come to audio for yea
I know what you are thinking.. this sounds like a typical alien invasion story... But it is more then that. it is about out of the box thinking and innovation which is the main reason I love this story. I read it at least once a year. Thank you for bringing this to a audio format. I wish there was a sequel.
18 people found this helpful
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- Bill S.
- 02-10-22
Toxic Masculinity Writes a Book
Where to start? I have over 300 titles in my Audible library and this one wins for absolutely worst dreck I have ever suffered through. When the aliens finally got around to invading I really hoped they would start with Hooters and the morons who think there's some skill involved in eating a chicken wing.
Sexist doesn't even begin to describe this garbage. There are no unattractive women with small breasts ("knockers" is the term the authors prefer) and no female character goes any deeper than flicking her long hair behind an ear or wearing perfume that distracts the mysoginist scientists and military leaders.
The plot meanders, exposition is repeated ad nausem, and the story goes off on unexplained tangets that do nothing to forward the story. This is a 5 hour book that takes 14 hours to get through.
The narrator should not be allowed to read audiobooks. His characters have little to distinguish them, even if they're female, unless a non-American accent is called for which he does BADLY across the board. He seems to relish it sexism of almost every male character and does his best to amplify them with his tone and inflection.
This is a book for 14-year-old boys in 1973 Texas. Everyone else should stay away as there is nothing redeeming about this trash.
14 people found this helpful
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- Van Sayler
- 01-02-22
Ending was kind of weak
If there is going to be a sequel then I would say the ending sets it up acceptably. But it appears the book was written in 2004 , so I am not sure about a sequel, perhaps if enough audible copies sell...... I would for sure buy the sequel if it came out in audible.
13 people found this helpful
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- BumbleBee 456
- 02-07-22
the world is ending! time for sexual harassment!
Everyone is all freaked out because aliens have send von Neumann's probes that have successfully used Martian resources to stage an Earth invasion. But there is still time to spend at Hooters, where half of the Very Important Conversations about How To Save the World is about the boobs and bodies of the servers. Even the scientists get frequent descriptions of their boobs.
Also, the narrator doesn't bother to change his voice much. When he does, it's... not great. I think he thought Russians were generic Eastern European maybe Germans, because Helena was a mess. His approach to the women mirrored that of the authors, though: we are not important, except for our boobs.
This is a super lame entry into the space war tactics genre.
11 people found this helpful
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- Alex?
- 10-28-21
Great reat book, needs a sequel
Great read, but took a star off story for the lack of greater world building. Don't want to post spoilers, so I'll just say that late in the book a development that should have been explored or mentioned more and that had greater implications was very poorly used, mentioned, then forgotten.
Big "However"... it would provide some great hooks for a sequel, so here's hoping
6 people found this helpful
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- Rebekah
- 08-12-21
Narrator was miscast
I was not a fan of the narrator. I feel his voice, accent and pacing was more suited to a western or drama than scifi.
6 people found this helpful
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- Crawtrapman
- 11-18-20
great book
I found out I pronounced the name wrong while listening to this . great book. great production. I wish Taylor and Ringo had more books out.
6 people found this helpful
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- Matthew B.
- 02-20-21
Fantastic
Ringo at his best. Wish I could wipe my mind and read again. Would definitely recommend.
5 people found this helpful
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The Last Centurion
- By: John Ringo
- Narrated by: Dan John Miller
- Length: 16 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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In the second decade of the 21st century, the world is struck by two catastrophes: a new mini-ice age and a plague to dwarf all previous experiences. Rising out of the disaster is the character known to history as "Bandit Six", an American Army officer caught up in the struggle to rebuild the world and prevent the fall of his homeland - despite the best efforts of politicians, both elected and military.
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Enjoy the story and forget the politics
- By Lindsay on 01-28-11
By: John Ringo
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Into the Real
- TransDimensional Hunter, Book 1
- By: John Ringo, Lydia Sherrer
- Narrated by: Sarah Mollo-Christensen
- Length: 18 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Lynn Raven may be the boss master of WarMonger 2050 with her online persona of "Larry the Snake", but when the CEO of Tsunami Entertainment personally asks her, as a favor, to beta test a new augmented-reality game, she has to face her greatest fear: going outside and dealing with, ugh, people.
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Hunters Ready!
- By EchoSniper on 11-30-22
By: John Ringo, and others
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A Hymn Before Battle
- Legacy of the Aldenata
- By: John Ringo
- Narrated by: Marc Vietor
- Length: 14 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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With Earth in the path of the rapacious Posleen, the Galactic Federation offers help to the backward humans - for a price. You can protect yourself from your enemies, but God save you from your allies!
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Another heads up!
- By Dr. Daniel Chapman on 06-12-14
By: John Ringo
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Live Free or Die
- Troy Rising, Book One
- By: John Ringo
- Narrated by: Mark Boyett
- Length: 17 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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When aliens trundled a gate to other worlds into the solar system, the world reacted with awe, hope and fear. But the first aliens to come through, the Glatun, were peaceful traders and the world breathed a sigh of relief.
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Republican Physicists in Space!!!
- By Amazon Customer on 04-01-10
By: John Ringo
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Ghost
- Paladin of Shadows, Book 1
- By: John Ringo
- Narrated by: Jeremy Arthur
- Length: 13 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Former SEAL Michael Harmon, Team Name ''Ghost'', retired for service injuries, is not enjoying college life. But things are about to change, if not for the better. When he sees a kidnapping, a series of, at the time logical, decisions leave him shot to ribbons and battling a battalion of Syrian commandos with only the help of three naked co-eds who answer to the names ''Bambi,'' ''Thumper'' and ''Cotton Tail.'
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HARD CORP Descriptive Sex Warning!
- By Trip Williams on 01-15-14
By: John Ringo
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Warp Speed
- Warp Speed Series, Book 1
- By: Travis S. Taylor
- Narrated by: Brian Holden
- Length: 9 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Dr. Neil Anson Clemons was born at the very moment that men first landed on the moon and always strived to become an astronaut and reach the stars. Neil devoted his life to staying physically fit as any astronaut should be through martial arts and mentally fit by studying and becoming one of the world's foremost experts in quantum physics and gravitational theory. Now he and his team have achieved a breakthrough, both in building a warp drive, and finding a new energy source powerful enough to make the drive more than an interesting theoretical concept.
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If you like made up technical jargon you’ll like this book
- By william forrest cody on 04-13-20
By: Travis S. Taylor
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Under a Graveyard Sky
- Black Tide Rising, Book 1
- By: John Ringo
- Narrated by: Tristan Morris
- Length: 13 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Zombies are real. And we made them. Are you prepared for the zombie apocalypse? The Smith family is, with the help of a few marines. When an airborne "zombie" plague is released, bringing civilization to a grinding halt, the Smith family, Steven, Stacey, Sophia, and Faith, take to the Atlantic to avoid the chaos. The plan is to find a safe haven from the anarchy of infected humanity. What they discover, instead, is a sea composed of the tears of survivors and a passion for bringing hope.
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Sorry to say....not so good. :(
- By Chris on 03-07-14
By: John Ringo
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There Will Be Dragons
- By: John Ringo
- Narrated by: Tim Fannon
- Length: 19 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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In the future there is no want, no war, no disease nor ill-timed death. The world is a paradise - and then, in a moment, it ends. The council that controls the Net falls out and goes to war. Everywhere people who have never known a moment of want or pain are left wondering how to survive. But scattered across the face of the earth are communities which have returned to the natural life of soil and small farm. In the village of Raven’s Mill, Edmund Talbot, master smith and unassuming historian, finds that all the problems of the world are falling in his lap.
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A Disappointing Reprise
- By Emerson on 07-10-20
By: John Ringo
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March Upcountry
- Prince Roger Series, Book 1
- By: David Weber, John Ringo
- Narrated by: Stefan Rudnicki
- Length: 17 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Roger Ramius Sergei Chiang MacClintock was young, handsome, athletic, an excellent dresser, and third in line for the Throne of Man. So it wasn't surprising that he became spoiled, self-centered, and petulant. After all, what else did he have to do with his life?
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2 GREAT WRITERS 1 FANTASTIC STORY
- By Randall on 08-26-18
By: David Weber, and others
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In Fury Born
- By: David Weber
- Narrated by: Vivienne Leheny
- Length: 31 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Imperial Intelligence couldn't find them, the Imperial Fleet couldn't catch them, and local defenses couldn't stop them. It seemed the planet-wrecking pirates were invincible. But they made a big mistake when they raided ex-commando leader Alicia DeVries' quiet home/work, tortured and murdered her family, and then left her for dead. Alicia decided to turn "pirate" herself, and stole a cutting-edge AI ship from the empire to start her vendetta. Her fellow veterans think she's gone crazy, the Imperial Fleet has shoot-on-sight orders. And, of course, the pirates want her dead, too.
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Just as Good as I Remembered
- By Austin E on 02-01-21
By: David Weber
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A Long Time Until Now
- By: Michael Z. Williamson
- Narrated by: Dennis Holland
- Length: 22 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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A military unit is thrust back into Paleolithic times with only their guns and portable hardware. Ten soldiers on convoy in Afghanistan suddenly find themselves lost in time. Somehow they arrived in Earth's Paleolithic Asia. With no idea how they arrived or how to get back, the shock of the event is severe. They discover groups of the similarly displaced: imperial Romans, Neolithic Europeans, and a small cadre of East Indian peasants.
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Different Than Expected--But an Excellent Listen !
- By C. Hartmann on 06-11-15
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Princess of Wands
- By: John Ringo
- Narrated by: Suzy Jackson
- Length: 11 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Barbara Everette, a homemaker living in a small town in Mississippi, had the perfect life. Perfect husband, perfect children, perfect house, perfect Christian Faith. She cooked and cleaned perfectly and managed all of the chores of the modern suburbanite, toting the kids, running the PTA, teaching kung-fu in the local dojo... perfectly. But perfection has a price, and the day came when Barbara snapped....