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Von Neumann's War  By  cover art

Von Neumann's War

By: John Ringo, Travis Taylor
Narrated by: Chris Henry Coffey
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Publisher's summary

Mars is changing. Seemingly overnight the once "Red" planet is turning to gray. Something is happening, something unnatural. A team of, literally, rocket scientists figure out a way to send a probe, very fast, to Mars to determine how and why it is changing. However, when the probe is destroyed well short of the formerly red planet, it's apparent that Mars is being used as a staging ground. The only viable target for that staging ground is Earth.

Ranging from rocket design to brilliant paranoids to "in your face" fighting in Iraq, Von Neumann's War is a fast-paced look at what would happen if the earth was attacked by a robot race that, quite accidentally, was bent on destroying civilization.

©2004 John Ringo and Travis S. Taylor (P)2020 Recorded Books

What listeners say about Von Neumann's War

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    4 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

Okay story.

Excessive amounts of cussing, even from non-military characters. Some of the characters were so hard to differentiate I gave up keeping them straight and started grouping them. At one point I thought one character was male who turned out to be female.

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45 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Pretty darn amazing.

Every John Ringo book I read, I enjoy, but this one has a special place in my heart. But what stands apart is the humor, delivered perfectly by the narrator. The characters are so unique they're funny and that humor diffuses the stress of aliens taking over planet Earth.
Ringo's innate insights to military, government and skunkworks affairs are amazing.

Amazon, please produce every book in the series and finish the council Wars! :)

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19 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

I have been wait for this to come to audio for yea

I know what you are thinking.. this sounds like a typical alien invasion story... But it is more then that. it is about out of the box thinking and innovation which is the main reason I love this story. I read it at least once a year. Thank you for bringing this to a audio format. I wish there was a sequel.

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18 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars

Toxic Masculinity Writes a Book

Where to start? I have over 300 titles in my Audible library and this one wins for absolutely worst dreck I have ever suffered through. When the aliens finally got around to invading I really hoped they would start with Hooters and the morons who think there's some skill involved in eating a chicken wing.

Sexist doesn't even begin to describe this garbage. There are no unattractive women with small breasts ("knockers" is the term the authors prefer) and no female character goes any deeper than flicking her long hair behind an ear or wearing perfume that distracts the mysoginist scientists and military leaders.

The plot meanders, exposition is repeated ad nausem, and the story goes off on unexplained tangets that do nothing to forward the story. This is a 5 hour book that takes 14 hours to get through.

The narrator should not be allowed to read audiobooks. His characters have little to distinguish them, even if they're female, unless a non-American accent is called for which he does BADLY across the board. He seems to relish it sexism of almost every male character and does his best to amplify them with his tone and inflection.

This is a book for 14-year-old boys in 1973 Texas. Everyone else should stay away as there is nothing redeeming about this trash.

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14 people found this helpful

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    3 out of 5 stars

Ending was kind of weak

If there is going to be a sequel then I would say the ending sets it up acceptably. But it appears the book was written in 2004 , so I am not sure about a sequel, perhaps if enough audible copies sell...... I would for sure buy the sequel if it came out in audible.

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13 people found this helpful

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    1 out of 5 stars
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the world is ending! time for sexual harassment!

Everyone is all freaked out because aliens have send von Neumann's probes that have successfully used Martian resources to stage an Earth invasion. But there is still time to spend at Hooters, where half of the Very Important Conversations about How To Save the World is about the boobs and bodies of the servers. Even the scientists get frequent descriptions of their boobs.

Also, the narrator doesn't bother to change his voice much. When he does, it's... not great. I think he thought Russians were generic Eastern European maybe Germans, because Helena was a mess. His approach to the women mirrored that of the authors, though: we are not important, except for our boobs.

This is a super lame entry into the space war tactics genre.

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11 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Great reat book, needs a sequel

Great read, but took a star off story for the lack of greater world building. Don't want to post spoilers, so I'll just say that late in the book a development that should have been explored or mentioned more and that had greater implications was very poorly used, mentioned, then forgotten.

Big "However"... it would provide some great hooks for a sequel, so here's hoping

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6 people found this helpful

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    3 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

Narrator was miscast

I was not a fan of the narrator. I feel his voice, accent and pacing was more suited to a western or drama than scifi.

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6 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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great book

I found out I pronounced the name wrong while listening to this . great book. great production. I wish Taylor and Ringo had more books out.

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6 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Fantastic

Ringo at his best. Wish I could wipe my mind and read again. Would definitely recommend.

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5 people found this helpful