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Publisher's Summary

Change the story. Change your life. From imagined catastrophes to play-by-play interpretations of others' behavior, we are expert storytellers, quick to fill in the blanks. Unfortunately, all too often our behavior is determined by baseless suspicions, which trigger needless pain. Real life passes us by as we fall for powerful fantasies of our own creation.

It doesn't have to be this way. In The Stories We Tell Ourselves, author and therapist Scott Gornto shows us how to break the cycle of false assumptions that lead to unnecessary anxiety. By taking control of our reactions to the people around us, we can learn how to be truly present in our lives as we nurture the relationships that matter most.

Based on more than 20 years of research and experience, Gornto demonstrates how family narratives, media, and past experiences shape compelling storylines that blind us to reality and wreak havoc on our relationships. Through persuasive examples, he models fresh, life-enhancing approaches to engaging with friends, business associates, and loved ones alike. Don't waste your life making up stories. The Stories We Tell Ourselves is a wake-up call and a compassionate, accessible guide to transforming your relationships - and your life.

©2014 R. Scott Gornto (P)2015 R. Scott Gornto

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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Beyond great

This book was incredible. It provided insight to many of the things that I struggle with and why I create false stories to fill in the vast moments in life that we don’t the actual reality of what they hold. This book was so good that I will listen to it two, maybe even three more times simply to pick up things that I missed. And this is someone that doesn’t like to listen/read to a book in the first place. First review I’ve ever given and this book deserves it!

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Great book!

Very insightful with direction. I've done many years of therapy and wish I would've had this book sooner. Will most likely listen again. Worth every minute!

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Good content, poor writing

I had big trouble paying attention while listening to this one. I only made it an hour or two into the book, at 2x speed.

The content seems good and relevant, but there's something about the way it's written, that made it feel like a haphazard blizzard of thoughts and separate sentences.

At first, I couldn't put my finger on it, but then realized it's due to the author's writing style: it feels as if each sentence is a tweet, and the book is made up of chapters, each one featuring tweets read in succession, organized by hash-tags.

So it feels like going to Twitter, putting in f.e. #relationships and reading aloud, down the list of related, yet disconnected tweets. On-topic, off-putting after a minute or two.

In other words: the book lacks structure, and a proper flow. Too many periods/dots/full stops, too few commas.

1 of 2 people found this review helpful

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  • Safron Thomas
  • 02-29-16

Practically saved my relationship and my sanity!

A sensitive wake up call about the importance of communication and presence in relationships.
Practical examples and honest approaches to some of life's more difficult situations. Highly recommended if you just can't find the words and thoughts you need to get your relationships back on track.