Serpentine

Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter, Book 26
Narrated by: Kimberly Alexis
Length: 15 hrs and 21 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (1,859 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

Vampire hunter Anita Blake has managed to overcome everything she faces. But this time there's a monster that even she doesn't know how to fight....

A remote Florida island is the perfect wedding destination for the upcoming nuptials of Anita's fellow US marshal and best friend, Edward. For Anita, the vacation is a welcome break, as it's the first trip she gets to take with wereleopards Micah and Nathaniel. But it's not all fun and games and bachelor parties.... 

In this tropical paradise Micah discovers a horrific new form of lycanthropy, one that has afflicted a single family for generations. Believed to be the result of an ancient Greek curse, it turns human bodies into a mass of snakes. 

When long-simmering resentment leads to a big blowup within the wedding party, the last thing Anita needs is more drama. But it finds her anyway when women start disappearing from the hotel, and worse - her own friends and lovers are considered the prime suspects. There's a strange power afoot that Anita has never confronted before, a force that's rendering those around her helpless in its thrall. Unable to face it on her own, Anita is willing to accept help from even the deadliest places. Help that she will most certainly regret - if she survives at all, that is....

©2018 Laurell K. Hamilton (P)2018 Penguin Audio
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    1 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars

Honestly, this was terrible.

I remembered why I let Anita go a few years ago. This series was truly my guilty pleasure. It was my official introduction to "Urban Fantasy". I bought the books and then later the audio books. I was all in for Anita even after the shift from solving crimes into full out erotica. Then, somewhere down the line, it's like LKH started writing a different series but with the same character names. These latest books are so far off from the originals in terms of action, story development, suspense, and thrill. Its like all the story telling just seeped out somewhere around Obsidian Butterfly.

Sorry, let's get back to this latest installment. I'm getting depressed writing about it. The first 40 minutes of this book was one long conversation with Micah whinning. And then another 10 minutes of talking about Anita's looks, body type, and each scar she has on her body. OMG!

Now I'm 3 hours and 15 minutes into the audio book and nothing has happened but meaningless banter between characters about how they look, nathanial has short hair, using diffusers, scars, insecurities, and whether Anita is a bridesmaid or bestman😒.

Anita actually says some dumb a$$ stuff like "Nick sits shot gun because his shoulders are so big. Micah and I are in the back seat. But if there is a third row, then I guess it means we are in the middle and not the back." 😲Really? How the hell is that useful to the story in anyway? It's not!

There has been a case introduced but nothing has happened with it since the start of the book. It's brought up by Micah in the first chapter, but then it gets lost along with with my patience.

I'm being very serious when I say there was so little "story" that there is no way to even write a review other that to bring up the absence of it and a plot. So I'll just tell you how I feel about the words that were provided in place of a story. Because that's all this was... words... not a novel... not a story... not a book... just random unnecessary words! 😲

Jean Claude.
When Jean Claude isnt in the forefront I'm a bit bored. I just don't care about the 47 other characters. Most of them serve no purpose at all, but yet they linger around the pages of this book like creepy stalkers.
Jean Claude is the key! He is the original love and the sexy seducor that we all fell for in Guilty Pleasures. Why push him to the back burner? I know there are those who like Micah, or Nathaniel, or the werewolf. But get over it people 😂 The answer will always be Jean Claude!!!

Anita has not grown in years. She is still insecure and a bully all at the same time.

Why do we fall into so many cliche traps...

1. Jealous bridemaids/women.
Why does this lady think that all women hate each other? That every women is insecure about another pretty women? This isn't true. Yes, it happens at times. But not enough for it to be a major part of every damn book!!! NEWS FLASH: WOMEN CAN ACTUALLY BE FRIENDS WITH OTHER WOMEN WITHOUT THE FOOLISHNESS... Not all women are petty.

2. Men who hate women authority.
Again, there maybe a few dudes out there where this is an issue, but for 26 books... every time Anita goes on a case then she has the same exact conversation with the male cops. Every male feels intimidated by her. Every male wonders how a little lady will handle herself. Oh My Fudge Brownies!!

3. Poly/Homophobes.
And once again, at this point in the series we are well aware that Anita sleeps with a big group of people and some of those people are Bisexual. So why does every book have to involve someone who isn't aware of her relationships???... She is famous... Nobody in her world should be shocked! It's really annoying to replay these same scenarios every single dang book.

4. The whole "Bride" thing.
I think I heard "I'm your bride" at least 25 times... 😧😩... Somebody who has the ebook please search for "I am your bride" or "I'm your bride" and tell me how many times it's found... Do the same fo the word BODYGUARD? I'm gonna betthat both are written about 20 times... seriously, let me know!!!

Before I put this phone to rest for the night, I have to bring up the pool scene. This was just the oddest and most silliest thing I've read in years... I want to use another word but I'll stick with silly. What was the purpose of Anita lying to these women about being lovers with her bodyguard? Why not just be grown-ups and say "I'm not interested" like an adult should do... why pretend to be lovers and act like assholes?

Oh, let me not forget the line where the girl tells Edward that "Dads can't have abs like that"... Really? This book has actually ticked me off. I'm irritated with myself for falling for this over and over. It's insanity on my end.

Narrator is Kimberly Alexis. She did well, but the book just sucked.

1 STAR - Not Interesting or Bad story telling by the author. Usually a book I had to force myself to finish.

13 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

As a fan, I'm not a fan of this one

This book was a little more relationship based then action. It is of course set around our dear fellow Marshall Edward/Teds wedding and the back back story is the preternatural stuff that happens during that time. I don't think the book description was accurate enough.

I would also like to know what the point of Anita having all of these abilities and powers, bad ass were animals and former harlequin spies/assassins and they are never used for anything but maybe sex.
One of the things I unfortunately base my ratings for a book on is if I will read or listen to it again and this one I will not. I don't consider it's a must have. I also know I will no longer pre-order the next book until I have seen some real reviews. I hope this is a set up for the next action based book. I did of course give 5 stars to Kimberly Alexis' narration 1st class as usual. Bottom line I can't recommend to all.


10 people found this helpful

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    1 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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garbage

7 hours into the audiobook and the only thing regarding the case she is on is a combined 10 min blurb. the rest it all about this boy is jealous of that one and group sex with whiny men who are insecure. This series has tanked so hard. Why not just drop the act that it has any plot other than group sex.

7 people found this helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

The ending...

I'm a die hard LKH fan, however the relationship thing is becoming tedious.
the emo-angsty conflict is becoming tiresome and has gone on way too long. The middle to ending, was best. I enjoyed the gun play and police interaction. I don't, however, like how emotional and shallow she's made Bernardo. I love his character and I'd love to see him become more bloodthirsty. i also strongly dislike the voice the narrator uses for Nathaniel. it's awful. Overall, it was pretty good. I think the ending made up for the parts I didn't like.

7 people found this helpful

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😭😭

no zombie raising no vampire hunting. Anita doesn't kill anyone. I'm so disappointed. barely a mention of the wedding. the harlequin still don't have powers. this was randomly about snake monsters. barely any sex. Anita has the arduer, beast, can feed on anger and lust and life, and she can roll people. but she got punked by some halfassed siren. I want to cry so bad. the first Anita Blake book I read that was not worth my while.

13 people found this helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

slow start

I don't mind all the relationship stuff in Anita's life but I also want more big bad. Sure there was a monster this time but not what I'd call a big bad like Mommy Darkness or Obsidian Butterfly. The last half of the book is great but it sure took a long time to get there.

24 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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Rather disappointed

3.5 stars. I love this series but 15 hrs of whinny partners, the whole drawn out bitching from Dixie about Ted "cheating", trying to tell Becca, etc, was a bit too much. I think this could have been cut in half. I really enjoyed the mystery. Jean Claude did not have enough page time.

10 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Weddings, Lovers, and Death, Oh My!

I love the Anita Blake books and have followed them from the beginning, so I enjoyed this book and can recommend it. I’m not sure if someone who has never read them would. Especially as you don’t get the full kick *ss Anita until the end climax. There’s more relationship (lovers, Harlequin, Otto) than supernatural challenges going on. Have to say, I’m feeling it, too, when Anita misses Domino. As Anita has evolved into polyamory, this book probably wouldn’t appeal to anyone with rigid sexual mores.

Anita joins Edward/Ted and Donna in the Florida Keys as best man for their beach wedding. She is accompanied by Micah, and also Nathaniel, who has helped plan their wedding. They’re plagued by Dixie, the bridesmaid from hell; and the Detective investigating missing women has powers of enthrallment.
The local lycanthropes are a unique family group that Micah has been trying to help, but they believe their origins are based on a curse. Clues in the book title.
One of the most interesting parts of the book for me was a conversation about serial killers going dormant or “kicking their addiction”, which was supposedly about the current killer being hunted, but was also being held on a second level by and about Otto.
I’m curious about Jean Claude’s new position as “King” and how Anita handles her position by his side, which she is being routed into by fate or power or necessity. What are her powers? How strong is she? How will she have to use them? Maybe the next book LKH?

I can’t exclaim enough about the excellent job Kimberly Alexis does with her narration- clearly differentiated characters; voices that are clearly male or female; clearly expressed emotions.
My only complaint or request is that Audible should be able to offer copies of the missing Anita Blake books recorded by Alexis. Shame on the publishers who have screwed this up! While we’re at it, can we get Narcissus in Chains recorded by Alexis? Pretty please? With sugar on top?

27 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

one of the better books since the function

this was actually a pretty good book. I need to Blake wasn't having sex with every single person she stumbled across. There wasn't a whole bunch of drama between the guys in her life. And it wasn't full of the action like Affliction was but I actually found this book to be a little more enjoyable. I haven't really enjoyed her books as much since Affliction came out. I actually listen to this audio book on regular speed instead of trying to speed through the book to get to the good stuff.

13 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Serpentine

Certainly one of the top five paranormal author's in the genre. The story had my attention from start to finish! it was the the top notch caliber of those written in the first third of this series. The chacters were engaging, with the strengths and failings one would expect. I was glad to see (hear) old friends, principles from previous stories; made me feel more a part of the story! the narrative performance was superb,spot on! Kimberly Alexis IS Anita Blake! In my opinion an overall five star audio!

8 people found this helpful