Secret Shame

A Survivor's Guide to Understanding Male Sexual Abuse and Male Sexual Development

De: Douglas W. Carpenter PsyD

Narrado por: ChasMandala

Sexual abuse is the secret shame that lies deep within. Men hold on to this secret shame for an average of 25 years before they disclose the hurt and pain they have endured and carried from sexual abuse perpetrated by another male. As men disclose their abuse, it is important to examine how the abuse changed their thinking and behavior. A good majority of men were abused before puberty. The research shows that men, on average, are abused around the age of eight or nine, while in the latency stage of development. The disruption of this phase creates a stirring of sexual curiosity and desire awakened before its time.

This early awakening has a direct effect on behavior. Boys may tend to seek out further sexual exploration, have an increased interest in pornography, seek out their abuser and initiate sexual activity, or may be driven to initiate sexual acts with others long before the natural instinct of puberty and progression into adolescent desires instinctively emerge. The latency disruption sets the stage for acts of sexual impulsivity and compulsivity, but can also lead to emotional dysregulation, sexual anorexia, and sexual dysfunction in adulthood.

Men who have experienced sexual abuse deserve to be heard and to heal! The wounded inner child deserves to be comforted and protected. The lies men have told themselves must be confronted and dispelled. The adult deserves to be free of the impact of sexual abuse and move into living a happy life free of emotional, physical, relational, and sexual dysfunction, and sexual compulsivity. My hope is that by listening to this audiobook, men can find hope for themselves by making sense of their experience and find healing for the secret shame that has kept them from developing into the men they were intended to be. The road to healing begins now!

©2022 Douglas W. Carpenter (P)2022 Douglas W. Carpenter

Great Resource

Dr. Doug Carpenter presents an excellent,  deep, academic dive into the world of male sexual abuse. He supplements his research with personal interviews with 13 male sexual abuse survivors to help the reader understand how the concepts taught affect the lives of males who were sexually abused by other males. Dr. Carpenter writes with a secular presentation while remaining faith friendly. Whether the reader is a survivor of male sexual abuse, loves someone who is, or is a caregiver, he or she will find this book and the corresponding workbook extremely helpful in understanding males who were sexually abused by other males.

Helpful, but I need to read more

This book was very helpful. And the reader did a great job. My only hang up is that the lens this is written from is very cis, hetero, typical ‘man’ ideal. They do offer resources and this I think is a good start for people who grew up male and experienced sexual trauma. As a queer person some of the ideas explored seem very limited- which the author does admit to later in the book. They also offered a recommendation for queer males who are looking for a different lens. I know that I’ll have to do further readings. But overall this book did help me establish some frame work, and establish a few things to bring up in future therapy sessions. Would recommend.

It’s so vast! So thorough!

The extensiveness of the research and the reach of the work. Doug Carpenter covers so many areas of concerns and men’s work is has never even thought to consider.

amazing book for male survivors of sexual abuse!

I was a victim of SA for 10 years. I was dealing with childhood sexual abuse from the ages of 4 years old all the way to 14, and this book lays it out perfectly. it doesn't only lay out the most common effects of abuse from males but it also lays out the most least common effects of abuse! this is an incredible book and I have a much clear path on how to challenge my trauma. I would highly recommend this book

Excellent Listen! A Healing Manual.

As a 65 year old survivor of Male Sexual Abuse I have been searching for material to help me understand how I feel about what happened to me at age 12. That abuse lasted for 6 years.

This audiobook greatly helped me to come to terms and acceptance of the many feelings I have. I now have an understanding of why I reacted the way I did at age 12. It also provides direction on what steps I can further take to continue my healing.

I highly recommend this audiobook. It is helping me in ways I did not expect, which I am grateful for.