Welcome to Gil's All Night Diner, where zombie attacks are a regular occurrence and you never know what might be lurking in the freezer....
In a prosperous yet gruesomely violent near future, superhero vigilantes battle thugs whose heads are full of supervillain fantasies....
Even in Empire City, a town where weird science is the hope for tomorrow, it's hard for a robot to make his way....
Teri and Phil had never needed their own personal god. But when Phil is passed up for a promotion - again - it's time to take matters into their own hands....
The wizard Margle the Horrendous takes special pride in never killing his enemies....
Angry that he wouldn't be known as the engineer who made Ultraweapon's force blasters, Cal resigns to chase after a bigger, better paycheck....
Solve the mystery of The Mystery Cottage, if you dare! Buy some knickknacks from The Fates! They might come in handy later. On a road trip across an enchanted America, Helen and Troy will discover all this and more....
This is a fantasy action-comedy which you have to hear. How often do you get to listen to a story where the villain is the protagonist? No, not an anti-hero, or a brooding monster....
Meet Monster. Meet Judy. Two humans who don't like each other much, but together must fight dragons, fire-breathing felines, trolls, Inuit walrus dogs, and a crazy cat lady....
Some people are born boring. Some live boring. Some even die boring. Fred managed to do all three, and when he woke up as a vampire, he did so as a boring one....
After three centuries trapped underground, thousand-year-old Yulric Bile awakens only to find that no one believes he is a vampire. Apparently he's just too ugly....
Space travel just isn't what it used to be. With the invention of Quantum Teleportation, space heroes aren't needed anymore....
When Andrew Dennison is yanked from his bed and taken to a top secret facility he has no idea he's been brought there to translate the words of an ancient demon....
Bob Johansson has just sold his software company and is looking forward to a life of leisure....
Cal Carver is having a bad day. Imprisoned and forced to share a cell with a cannibalistic serial killer, Cal thinks things can't possibly get any worse. He is wrong....
Dr. Anarchy is a man with a simple dream: to conquer and rule the entire world....
STOP. You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you. My name is David Wong. My best friend is John....
Diana's life was in a rut - she hated her job, she was perpetually single, and she needed a place to live. But then the perfect apartment came along....
Emperor Mollusk. Intergalactic Menace. Destroyer of Worlds. Conqueror of Other Worlds. Mad Genius. Ex-Warlord of Earth. Not bad for a guy without a spine. But what's a villain to do after he's done... everything.
With no new ambitions, he's happy to pitch in and solve the energy crisis or repel aliens invaders should the need arise, but if he had his way, he'd prefer to be left alone to explore the boundaries of dangerous science. Just as a hobby, of course. Retirement isn't easy though. If the boredom doesn't get him, there's always the Venusians. Or the Saturnites. Or the Mercurials. Or... well, you get the idea. If that wasn't bad enough, there's also the assassins of a legendary death cult and an up-and-coming megalomaniac (as brilliant as he is bodiless) who have marked Emperor for their own nefarious purposes.
But Mollusk isn't about to let the Earth slip out of his own tentacles and into the less capable clutches of another. So it's time to dust off the old death ray and come out of retirement. Except this time, he's not out to rule the world. He's out to save it from the peril of the Sinister Brain!
Any additional comments?
Everyone knows that that the invertebrates of Neptune are the most intelligent minds in the galaxy. That’s how, years ago, a bored mollusk from Neptune was able to conquer the Earth and set himself up as Warlord. To subdue the planet he had to use a few nasty tricks such as doping the water supply with anti-aggression drugs, but now that he has all of humanity under his tentacle, Emperor Mollusk is actually a pretty swell guy and he has even developed a soft spot (or should I say “softer spot”) for planet Earth, though he’ll be quick to tell you that he’s not reformed — just retired. Nowadays, he spends most of his time tinkering in his laboratory and coming up with ways to solve Earth’s numerous problems. He fixed the energy crisis long ago and so far he’s been able to protect Earth from aliens from Mars, Venus, and Saturn. Pretty good for a slimy cephalopod that you could easily squash under the heel of your boot.<br/><br/>Unfortunately, most of Emperor Mollusk’s experiments on Earth tend to cause unexpected and dastardly consequences, and the emperor usually ends up needing to develop even more brilliant solutions to the problems he created. Emperor Mollusk Versus the Sinister Brain is an account of the Emperor’s various adventures as he attempts to save humans from all the disasters that would not have befallen them if the Emperor had never set his slippery tentacle on the planet in the first place. Disasters such as an island of radioactive dinosaurs, giant fireants, missing countries, an anti-time radio, and the rampaging brain of Madam Curie. He even has to deal with assassins from Atlantis, killer scorpions, a clone of himself, and the sinister brain who wants to challenge him for world domination. <br/><br/>Emperor Mollusk Versus the Sinister Brain, A. Lee Martinez’s newest novel, is a hilariously wacky story with a preposterous premise, impossible characters, and an absurd plot. I’m rather picky about humorous fantasy so I’m surprised that I enjoyed the non-stop comedy here, but Martinez has his pacing down and he knows exactly when to stop. I like Martinez’s bizarre situations and droll sense of humor, and he balances all of it with a well-developed protagonist who we can’t help but love, even though he’s slimy (literally) and he keeps telling us he’s an evil overlord. <br/><br/>Fans of Douglas Adams’ THE HITCHHIKER’S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY shouldn’t miss Emperor Mollusk Versus the Sinister Brain. Let me highly recommend the audio version produced by Audible Frontiers and performed by actor Scott Aiello. This was the first time I’d heard Mr. Aiello (he is a new narrator) and I was extremely impressed with his performance — he made the novel even funnier. He was absolutely perfect for this role and I look forward to hearing more from him in the future.
73 of 75 people found this review helpful
APOLOGIZING FOR CONDESCENSION IS USUALLY CONDESCENSION ITSELF.
Almost every planet and moon in the solar system has intelligent life. About the only planets not mentioned where Mercury and Uranus. We also have people from Atlantis, the Bermuda Triangle, Mole People, Dinosaur Island, etc...
This is a light fun listen. It is smartly written. It is amazing all the characters and places, Martinez is able to squeeze into it. It is not LOL, but mostly a feel good smile type of book.
I liked it, but did not love it like I have Christopher Moore or John Scalzi.
The narrator did an amazing job. He did several characters, all done well. He understood the material and portrayed it just as the author should have wanted.
22 of 23 people found this review helpful
I wrote a remarkably similar review for one of this author's other novels, but the same holds true here...
If you like Neil Gaiman, Douglas Adams, Robert Asprin, Christopher Moore or Terry Pratchett, then this is a mug of ale or glass of wine from the same brewery my friend. Some good ol' light-hearted fun.
32 of 35 people found this review helpful
"Emperor Mollusk" is a typical A. Lee Martinez lighthearted comedy performed brilliantly. I understand this was Scott Aiello's rookie outing on Audible. And he made the book for me-- and I'm a tough critic of faux British accents (as much as an American who grew up listening to Monty Python and lived in England can claim to be). He nailed it.
5 of 5 people found this review helpful
This is a delightfully funny tale about a former super villain and super genius, Emperor Mollusk, who is so incredibly brilliant, he becomes bored and creates dooms day inventions that he then must save the earth from. Very entertaining. Great narration. The story wandered a little but still delivered a great listen.
30 of 35 people found this review helpful
I always enjoy a story told from the viewpoint of an egotistical villainous super-genius. The tone is refreshingly free of angst and worry; just cold, calculated, clever, and often overly polite, dialogue. Emperor Mollusk is just so damn intelligent - and he knows it - and yet relate-able, I could not help listening to the entire book with a smirk or a chuckle just waiting to come out. That is a credit to A Lee Martinez; straddling the line between likable and dastardly can be tricky.
Perhaps much of my enjoyment from this book is delivered by Scott Aiello and his masterful performance. His range of voices is rather large and none of them sounded forced or out of place. And he absolutely nailed Mollusk. I felt I could actually hear the facial expressions through his performance - which is kind of ironic given the character himself states that his species' features are notoriously difficult to read.
The story itself was good, well told, and enjoyable. It wasn't particularly original, though, so I took some points off. I thought it was interesting that, despite the fact the story takes place on Earth (known as Terra in this book), there was almost a complete lack of human characters in it. There were Neptunians, Venusians, giant robots of all sizes, pterodactyls with lazer-vision, and a rather adorable cybernetically enhanced, giant killer-centipede and all of them were well-crafted by the author. So, while I do feel like this was a rather simplistic adventure, hopping from one sinister death trap to the next, I think that is exactly what the author intended it to be. It is what it is, and the author embraced every bit of it.
This was a funny, enjoyable, worthwhile listen and I would recommend it to anyone who likes Sci-fi.
9 of 10 people found this review helpful
This audiobook is, quite simply, a ton of fun! I can hardly imagine actually reading it - that is just how strong of a performance Scott Aiello, the narrator, gives! Like Martinez’s other novels, this is a rather mad-cap adventure full of hilarity, witty humour and some quite likable - not to mention unforgettable - characters. The novel is set primarily on Earth (or Terra as it is referred to here) and seems inspired by 1950s-60s type space dramas. The titular character, Emperor Mollusk, hails from Neptune (though they don’t care for him much back there). Mollusk has conquered Terra (without a single gunshot fired!), but has retired from the world-conquering business after some recent unpleasantness with Saturn.
When a Venutian warrior with a grudge attempts to take Mollusk under protective custody (to later try him for his crimes committed on Venus), she ends up falling in with Mollusk and his faithful ultra-pede (a centipede from Hell) as they track down the assassination plot to its perpetrator. Their adventures range from Atlantis, a Lost World type island in the Bermuda triangle, a visit to the moon and some epic battles with the radioactive brain of Madame Curie. The tale is filled with adventure, excitement and plenty of laughs.
The performance, though, really sets the book apart. The voices Aiello creates for each character are wonderful and quite distinct. He makes Mollusk sound like a cross between the Dread Pirate Roberts and Stewie Griffin. The Brain also sounds quite like Vizzini and there are many other convincing and entertaining voices throughout. Not only will I continue to follow Martinez’s work, but I will definitely be keeping an eye out for this very talented narrator as well!
8 of 9 people found this review helpful
What made the experience of listening to Emperor Mollusk Versus the Sinister Brain the most enjoyable?
The narrator was FANTASTIC. His tone, accents, use of voices, etc. made the experience
What did you like best about this story?
The attitude of the bored super-genius villain was a nice change of pace.
Have you listened to any of Scott Aiello’s other performances before? How does this one compare?
This is the first of his I have heard but I will put him on top of my list.
If you were to make a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?
Any additional comments?
LOVED the narrator.
12 of 14 people found this review helpful
What about Scott Aiello’s performance did you like?
Listening to Scott Aiello was such a treat. He brought so much fun and comedy to this novel just by how he read it. He was absolutely brilliant in his delivery!
Any additional comments?
This story is cute and somewhat interesting but the star of the show is the narration. Scott Aiello more than makes up for the weaknesses of the storyline and I highly recommend listening to it just to hear his interpretation of the characters. He had me laughing out loud.
3 of 3 people found this review helpful
If you get this book and like it then try "Confessions of a D List Supervillain" 1st and then get "Soon I Will Be Invincible". Try them because I loved them just like this book. We need more books like these. These stories are just FUN!! that's the best way to describe it.....they may not win some snooty literary award but they will put a big fat smile on your face.
20 of 26 people found this review helpful
Although there were occasional flaws in the performance and story, the overall effect of this wonderful combination of author and narrator was something I had to finish in three big gulps. Genuinely laugh-out-loud funny in many places, stylish, creative, absurd and ridiculous in equal measures. I was honestly down in the dumps when I realised I'd finished it so quickly. With elements that reminded me of Adams and Rankin, this was a great find. I'm off to seek out more.
So, here we have a fantastic combination of Megamind and Dispicable Me.
It's a funny romp through the solar system with a lot of heart and great set pieces.
The characters are all the right side of silly, and the plot wraps up nicely.
Another good book from the author of Monster.