• Gil's All Fright Diner

  • By: A. Lee Martinez
  • Narrated by: Fred Berman
  • Length: 6 hrs and 48 mins
  • 4.3 out of 5 stars (1,278 ratings)

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Gil's All Fright Diner

By: A. Lee Martinez
Narrated by: Fred Berman
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Publisher's Summary

Welcome to Gil's All Night Diner, where zombie attacks are a regular occurrence and you never know what might be lurking in the freezer....

Duke and Earl are just passing through Rockwood county in their pick-up truck when they stop at the Diner for a quick bite to eat. They aren't planning to stick around-until Loretta, the eatery's owner, offers them $100 to take care of her zombie problem. Given that Duke is a werewolf and Earl's a vampire, this looks right up their alley. But the shambling dead are just the tip of a particularly spiky iceberg.

Seems someone's out to drive Loretta from the Diner, and more than willing to raise a little Hell on Earth if that's what it takes. Before Duke and Earl get to the bottom of the Diner's troubles, they'll run into such otherworldly complications as undead cattle, an amorous ghost, a jailbait sorceress, and the terrifying occult power of pig-latin. And maybe - just maybe - the End of the World, too.

Gory, sexy, and flat-out hilarious, Gil's All Fright Diner will tickle your funnybone - before ripping it out of its socket!

©2009 A. Lee Martinez (P)2009 Macmillan Audio

Critic Reviews

"Fans of Douglas Adams and Joe R. Lansdale...will happily sink their teeth into this combo platter of raunchy laughs and ectoplasmic ecstasy." ( Publishers Weekly)

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What listeners say about Gil's All Fright Diner

Average Customer Ratings
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    5 out of 5 stars
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I loved it!

I loved it! I've listened to it at least 3 times since i bought it. Sci-fi/Comedy at it's best! Martinez is good at what he does. Earl and Duke are a ridiculous vamp/werewolf team. A ghost for a girlfriend and a raunchy teenaged witch for a villain. What's not to love?

26 people found this helpful

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    3 out of 5 stars

Southern Fried Zombies, Werewolves and Vampires!

This fun-filled, action packed, fantastical story is pure entertainment. The two main characters, Duke and Earl, are down-home boys who happen to also be a werewolf and a vampire. They complain about being stuck with each other, but it’s clear that they truly are best friends. Despite their seemingly simple and small minded attitudes, they are actually two good guys you just know will do the right thing. Duke and Earl would never allow Loretta’s diner to be taken over by zombies, leading to the end of the world itself. But are their efforts enough to battle the occult powers fighting against them? You’ll have to listen to find out.

I love the Southern twang used for this book. It is a huge part of what makes it so entertaining, and perfect as an audiobook. The narrator captures the personality of every character, and manages to keep it all funny, without it ever becoming just a caricature of the various Southern stereotypes the listener encounters. He keeps to the story, and adds to the fun of listening.

19 people found this helpful

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mysogynistic and lazy

I heard more about the main characters obsession with sexualizing underage women, and or fat-shaming for no clear purpose or plot point. I've heard 3 paragraphs on zombies and 30 pages of what underage girls look like with out clothes. Disappointing because the narrator is great, but this work is just gross. The writing style and description is akin to twilight. Long lists of leering adjectives with no diversity or actual story structure.

15 people found this helpful

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I want more of Earl and Duke!

One of the best decisions I have made in my “reading” life is when I started following another member in the listener page section. She never steers me wrong!

This book was no exception. Gil’s All Fright Diner was short but packed full of so much fun it was hard to get out of the car. Don’t let the name scare you off. I wouldn’t put this is the horror section; more of the comedy (see zombie cows). The “scary” characters are not the stereotypical vampires and such. The little world that Martinez paints, where Vampires, Werewolves, Ghost and Ghouls are just hanging out with the rest of us, is so intriguing that my only regret is that this is not a series. I would love to follow Earl and Duke around for a few more stories. I like the new supernatural rules the author puts in the stories, like ghost not being able to leave the cemetery, and ghouls. I would like more of this world.

The narrator brings the story alive with his character voices. I look forward to finding more of his narrations.

13 people found this helpful

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Occult humor story - works great

I've summed up A. Lee Martinez by comparing him to the following canon authors in two other reviews...

If you like Neil Gaiman, Douglas Adams, Robert Asprin, Christopher Moore or Terry Pratchett, then this is a mug of ale or glass of wine from the same brewery my friend. Some good ol' light-hearted fun.

This book is his cover of the horror / macabre genre set in the southwest United States. Somehow, he makes it work. Incredibly readable - or listenable.

13 people found this helpful

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    1 out of 5 stars
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when is it supposed to get funny?

It seems like the only attempt at humor is continually going into vivid, unflattering descriptions of a fat woman's body. Plus, nothing original or interesting is happening. "Lol, fat chick" seems to be the gist of the "comedy" portion of this alleged horror-comedy.

11 people found this helpful

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    3 out of 5 stars
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Great story, better read it

While I enjoyed listening to the audiobook, the narrator was trying way too hard, and the hysterical subtleties of the characters were often reduced to hayseed slapstick. A pity, because Martinez created some great characters here, Duke and Earl, the zombie cows, Mistress Lillith the teenage hellraiser . . . Do yourself a favor and read the novel before you listen to the audio version.

7 people found this helpful

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Only enjoyable if you like misogynistic "humor"

I wish I hadn't listened to as much of this book as I did so I could have returned it. I originally bought the hard copy about a decade or so ago and weeded it from my collection when I needed space and hadn't gotten around to reading it. When I saw it on sale as an audiobook I decided to give it another try. Huge mistake.

The narrator gave a good performance. I liked his various southern accents for the different characters, the inflection, and the enthusiasm which he gave the story. It truly was a performance. I have to wonder if the narrator grimaced at repeatedly describing women's breasts as much as I did hearing him do so.

I had 3 hours left in the story when I gave up. I forgot what the story was even about. The characters spent so much time making innuendo-laden comments and were so focused on the female characters' breasts, the story didnt seem to progress at all. At first I thought the author was trying to build the characters. Okay, I thought, I can dislike the dialog and I might not like the characters, but I can still enjoy the story. Eventually I realized I had spent enough of my life hoping for that would never come.

Now that I'm writing a review I see others had similar thoughts. It's too bad I went and purchased this book based on previously owning it rather than reading the reviews.

4 people found this helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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All Night Diner is All Right Despite the Frights

A vampire and werewolf traveling together in a pick-up truck stop at a remote all-night diner next to a graveyard in the southwest desert and, with the help of a beautiful ghost, fend off a series of zombie and demon attacks orchestrated by a teen sorceress. All sorts of other supernatural and mythological creatures appear as the mystery of Gil's diner unfolds. Lots of laughs interject themselves between the bloody battle scenes.

If you've read A. Lee Martinez, you know what to expect. This is what he does. This book has the virtue of having been his first, so you can't accuse him of repeating himself. The real virtue, however, is watching ordinary characters out of rural modern America take the form of ghosts, demons, witches, vampires, etc. There is some level of metaphor there, but mostly it lays the groundwork for some good jokes.

Interestingly, this book is a solid 4 1/2 stars on Audible but only 3 1/2 stars on Goodreads -- the best evidence I've seen yet that a humorous book of this type is better in audio than in print, which I experienced directly on a couple of occasions with other Martinez titles, having read and listened to them.

I liked it well enough to go four stars overall, but I just couldn't bring myself to give the razor-thin, derivative story line more than three. There are too many books in this genre to single out any one as derivative, but many of us who have seen True Blood will find the idea of scary creatures concentrated around a rural eatery to be well trodden territory. Whether you want more of the same or have had enough, Gil's will at least add some laughs to the mix.

4 people found this helpful

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In my TOP TEN Books EVER!

Funny, riveting, great reader, Wonderful monster story! I will listen to this one over and over again.

4 people found this helpful

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  • Ross
  • 09-14-19

Simple easy listen and fairly amusing

interesting story and moves along at a nice pace. Its a fairly short story, but pretty amusing and an easy listen. Will certainly listen to again at some point.

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  • Strawberryskullcrusher
  • 05-07-19

More!!

I loved all the characters. Sucked me in after a few minutes. Hilarious and well rounded characters. I feel like there needs to be more stories on these two.

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  • Adam Barker
  • 11-13-18

Fantastic.

Imagine a redneck vampire and an ex-trucker werewolf step into Twilight Zone.
Now add zombies.