STFU

The Power of Keeping Your Mouth Shut in an Endlessly Noisy World

By: Dan Lyons

Narrated by: Dan Lyons

Length: 6 hrs and 44 mins

Publisher's summary

This program is read by the author.

"Lyons is an able narrator who brings self-deprecation and humor to parts that may lose their impact in print. His emphatic delivery is dynamic, and listeners may find themselves nodding along in agreement."—Library Journal

New York Times bestselling author Dan Lyons is here to tell you—and don't take this the wrong way—that you really need to shut the f*ck up!

Our noisy world has trained us to think that those who get in the last word win, when in fact it’s those who know how to stay silent who really hold the power. STFU is a book that unlocks this power and will change your life, freeing you to focus on what matters. Lyons combines leading behavioral science with actionable advice on how to communicate with intent, think critically, and open your mind and ears to the world around you.

Talk less, get more. That’s what STFU is all about. Prescriptive, informative, and addictively readable, STFU gives you the tools to become your better self, whether that’s in the office, at home, online, or in your most treasured relationships. Because, after all, what you say is who you are.

So take a deep breath, press play, and quietly change your life.

A Macmillan Audio production from Henry Holt & Company.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2023 Dan Lyons (P)2023 Macmillan Audio

Critic reviews

“Entertaining, illuminating, and inspiring! More than a book, it’s a public service announcement that we’d all do well to—well, STFU and listen to!”—Sarah Knight, New York Times bestselling author of Calm the F*ck Down

“Read this book--your boss will thank you. Your spouse will thank you. And you'll thank yourself! Good communication is measured not by the speaker, but by the listener. How can you know what's going on in another person's ear? Start by STFU! For most of us, that's easier said than done. Dan Lyons will explain how to do it, and why it will improve your relationships at work and at home.”—Kim Scott, New York Times bestselling author of Radical Candor

“STFU convinced me that, by keeping my big mouth shut, I will be happier and more productive and so will everyone else in my life. Dan Lyons' ridiculously funny gem taught me how to shut up, pay fierce attention to others, stifle my 'manalogues' and so many more antidotes for my talkaholic tendencies. My only problem is that, after reading STFU, I can’t stop talking about how much I love this book!”—Robert I. Sutton, organizational psychologist, Stanford Professor, and New York Times bestselling author of seven books including The No Asshole Rule

Extremely helpful

Thank you so very much. This information applied will change my life for the better. It already has. I had bought the idea of having a snappy comeback was the answer but only in a smarter way.

Interesting concept

Worth a listen with interesting points and a fascinating take on communication. Good presentation from the author. Too many woke political references.

A comprehensive dive into how silence brings power

While I’m personally a relatively quiet person, I’ve been on the other end of over-talking many times. Dan did a great job of describing the headwinds that over-talking creates and provides ideas for people on both ends of the spectrum to manage it. The book is very insightful and backed by researchers and thought leaders in the subject. I found his section on parenting and the link between boredom and creativity especially interesting, Between games, social media, and over parenting, our kids simply don’t have a chance to be bored and that is taking a toll on them. That is something I look forward to applying to my kids.

some good, some not so good

the author has some good points and strategies. the author's political bias' come out several times which diminish the point he tries to make.

Saving my sanity

This is my first audio book. I’m hooked! Each chapter had something in it for everyone. I scored a 50 on the talkoholic test. The changes I have made in one week have left me feeling happy and so less stressed. My husband, daughter, and bosses have noticed a positive change. I can honestly say that this book may have saved my job. Thank you!

Very relevant book in this cult of personality era

The book covers a very relevant topic. The author sometimes show some notable political left bias, but if you can tolerate that, you can get good insights about talking less and listening more. Overall, it’s not the best work from Dan Lyons, but still a good reading. It was worth the credit I used.

If it costs you your peace, it’s too expensive.

How I wanted more peace in my life and this book provided me the clarity that I needed. STFU. Wish I would’ve learned this when I was still employed. Very relevant to what’s going on these days and the main reason we’re in the mess that were in.

Needed

I loved this book, living it everyday.
I have read it twice, once in book form and the other on audio. I rarely do that with a book

Listening deserves this book

Debra Hamilton

As a mediator of conflicts between people over animals every page of this book provided me with incredible tools to be a better active listener. Dan I love you. ❤️🐕🦜🐈🐎

This book was incredibly helpful to me

I hesitated on listening to this book because of many of the reviews. This is the only book I've been able to find on overtalking. I found the author relatable and the information incredibly helpful.

Where others pointed out his flaws in drifting into politics and "mansplaining" what mansplaining was, I saw his humanity. He struggles with overtalking and has written on the topic with openness, vulnerability, and honesty. As a woman, I thought the information on how men and women communicate differently was useful.

This book was exactly what I was looking for. I will likely listen to it again. His tips were useful, and I will be applying them to my own life. If you struggle with talking too much, nervous talking, or interrupting, I think you will find this book helpful. Use the tips and let go of the sections that talked about politics.

I think his editor should have weeded that out, but I still found this book to be helpful and worth listening to.