I've got a big butt and I cannot lie.
All my life, I've been plagued by the immensity of my oversized derriere. Everything else about me is perfectly proportional, sexy even, but the size of my massive ass has led me to becoming the butt of endless jokes, not to mention stares, insults, and everything in between.
It's led to something of a complex forming in me over the years, so that for the longest time I found myself staying away from people altogether. But, one day, I decide to go to an art exhibit full of historical paintings, where I come across a beautiful woman who smiles at me when she sees me.
Even though I can tell she's flirting with me, I just can't get past my ass anxiety to go up and talk to her. That is, until I pass a painting of my namesake Attila the Hun, and suddenly, I'm transformed into the spitting image of the powerful warlord himself.
Now, I take the woman of my fantasies in an embrace and the two of us kiss, and soon, I'm whisking her away for the two of us to get better acquainted in the janitor's closet.