Parsnips, Buttered

Bamboozle and Boycott Modern Life, One Email at a Time

By: Joe Lycett

Narrated by: Joe Lycett

Length: 3 hrs and 43 mins

Publisher's summary

In this book I have attempted to solve each and every one of life's problems. And I have succeeded.

Dear Listener,

Using letters, emails, tweets and telegrams I will show you how the things in your life that make you sad, low or anxious can soon appear trivial, insignificant and like a fish. In short, I will butter your parsnips.

Life is hard. We are a bombarded generation: Facebook, billboards, Twitter, Instagram, taxes, newspapers, watches monitoring our sleep, apps that read our pulse, terrorism. There's such an onslaught to the senses these days it's a marvel any of us manage to get out of bed. I love bed.

While we are overwhelmed and confused by the miasmic cloud of information, there are those that seek to take advantage: there are parking fines, hate tweets, Nigerian email scams and Christmas newsletters from old school friends about their ugly kids. And just as we're getting round to doing something about it, we're distracted again.

I, Joe Lycett, comedian, wordsmith, and professional complainer, am here to help. During my short life of doing largely nothing I've discovered solutions to many of life's problems, which I impart to you, dear Listener. Containing a centurion of complaint letters to unsuspecting celebrities, companies and anyone brave enough to clog up my phone, as well as illustrations, one-liners, jokes and life hacks, this little gem offers you a collection of tips and advice* for all manner of modern woe. By the time you have finished listening to this book you will have learnt how to:

• Reverse a parking fine
• Manipulate the tabloid press
• Navigate social media
• Respond to hate mail
• Out-weird Internet trolls
• Contest a so-called ripe avocado
• Send the perfect Christmas newsletter
• Defeat ISIS
• Take down multinational companies

AND MUCH, MUCH MORE!

Joe Lycett x

* If you are looking for guidance with taxes, quitting smoking, moving house, love, divorce, education, health care or anything actually important may I recommend speaking to friends or family members and not consulting a book by a comedian who eats halloumi at least twice a day.

©2016 Joe Lycett (P)2016 Hodder & Stoughton

Love Joe Lycett

Brilliant observations and I never tire of listening to his voice
Very very funny loved it

Absolutely Wonderful!

I've listened to this so many times and I laugh each time! I love Joe as a comedian, and he doesn't disappoint in his writing or delivery.

Hilarious

It will make you laugh out loud, and then people will look at you with suspicion as you walk alone, laughing out loud.

LMFAO

This book kept me laughing so hard, I actually had to stop listening to it a work after I choked and spit my coffee at my computer screen, because I laughed so hard. I love Joe Lycett he is the best comedian EVER!!

Loved it.

Absolutely loved it! I laughed from the beginning to the very end. Joe Lycett is so clever and hilarious, I'm about to listen to it again.

I'm now on my fourth listen, still laughing my butt off.

Delightfully Snarky

A book this clever really deserves a well thought-out and witty review. Since I can’t provide one I’ll just say it’s an excellent use of a credit

As funny as ever

It’s like listening to one of his stand up shows, very entertaining! Hearing it in his own voice, makes it all the better!

I Lycett!

Joe Lycett never disappoints. His style of internet trolling is second to none. It's what I like to call "splendid f**kery" and Joe is a master.

Same jokes, but never dull.

I could listen to Joe Lycett talk all day! The narration is top-tier. I would definitely listen to him read other audiobooks. Unfortunately, this book contains the same material as his stand up. There's nothing new. During his stand up, his use of visual aids really elevates the jokes. You don't get to experience them with an audiobook. It was still good, just not what I was expecting.

Good but short

I liked this a lot. Joe is a legend. It's just too short and cost a full credit.

best comedian of all time

Joe Lycett is my favourite comedian for a number of reasons. He is the stereotypical British complainer, however he takes it 5000 steps further than the ordinary brit with his hilarious whit, glitter and Fox photos. Taking a stab at recent politics and parking enforcement officers is what he does best, and thankfully he does it very well. His multiple aliases rattle the bones off many snobby idiots, ranging from homophobic twats to professional casinos. Britain at its finest.

I now have the tools to piss off anybody who tries to annoy me. thanks Joe.

Very, very funny

Be careful if you are listening to this while driving. There were times I laughed so much I nearly crashed the car!!

Same Story’s As His Stand Up

I was really excited when I down loaded this audio book as I think Joe is really funny and I couldn’t wait to find out more about him. I have to say though that I was a little disappointed as most of the story’s in his book have been told on his stand up appearances on the TV. I am going to see him live next month, I really do hope he has some new jokes and story’s for then.

Amazing

One of the funniest and wittiest comedians today. This book was a breeze to to listen to, absolutely perfect and I'm already hoping he writes another one.

Hilarious. Hope you're well xx

Madness and mayhem are two perfect words to describe Joe and any conversation that involves an email from him. A very funny way to spend 3 and a bit hours.

Not bad, but a bit lazy

Would you recommend this book to a friend? Why or why not?

This is a reasonable audiobook, but marred somewhat by the fact that the good bits have been recycled from live shows and TV appearances. As such, there's a good chance you may have heard some of it before. It's also quite short, and some of it seems to have been written purely to bulk out the word count.

Had I paid the eye-watering RRP of £21.87, I would be so furious that I would emit a brown, viscous fluid from my eyes, ears and pits whilst screaming and beating my bare chest. Thankfully I used an Audible credit instead, so that's not too bad and I feel I just about got my money's worth.

If you have a spare credit about to expire, and don't know what to do with it, then buy this book.

Hopefully doth butter these parsnips!

Have listened to this through 8 times in 2 weeks. Brilliant! Joe's performance really excels. SAMANTHA PETERSON!

Superbly performed and hilarious.

Sarcastic and retortive humour at it's finest. Lycett satisfyingly gives life's little irritants both barrels.

if you want to laugh. listen

well that just made me cry with laughter.
seriously funny, brilliantly read. I wish he was my new best friend

Funny in short bursts

While I do appreciate Joe’s humour and enjoy his style I felt that after the first half an hour the ideas were beginning to stall. While his previous performances about parking were funny this one seemed like he was trying too hard and it ran out of steam very quickly, as did some other attempts with companies/agencies. The 3hrs and 43mins will be fun if you listen in short bursts.