Needing to Know for Sure

A CBT-Based Guide to Overcoming Compulsive Checking and Reassurance Seeking

By: Martin N. Seif PhD, Sally M. Winston PsyD

Narrated by: Holly Adams

Length: 5 hrs and 51 mins

Publisher's Summary

"How do I know I made the right decision?" "What if I'm wrong?" "I need to know for sure."

Do you have thoughts like these - thoughts that cause you to second-guess yourself? Do you find yourself repeatedly checking your email for no reason, asking others for their opinions about something again and again, or lying awake at night overanalyzing and planning ahead in an attempt to feel less anxious? If so, you probably have a problem with compulsive reassurance seeking. The good news is that you can break free from this "reassurance trap" - this book will show you how.

In this unique guide, you'll find proven-effective tips and tools using CBT to help you tolerate uncertainty, face specific worrying scenarios, and gradually reduce the compulsion to incessantly seek reassurance. Most importantly, you'll learn to deal with those pesky "doubt attacks" and trust your own judgment.

Asking for reassurance is a self-reinforcing behavior - if you do it, you're less likely to handle stressful situations without needing further reassurance. And so the cycle continues. The CBT skills in this book will help you break this exhausting and painful pattern, so you can build self-confidence and improve your life.

©2019 Martin N. Seif and Sally M. Winston (P)2021 Tantor

Great Listen

This audiobook is well put together and I found it really helpful for dealing with my “sticky mind.” I absolutely recommend for anyone constantly going around in circles with obsession themes but wanting to break free. Contains lots of examples applicable to lots of themes, so you’ll find something to relate to.

Absolutely loved it

This book is exactly what I needed to hear in my life right now. I highly recommend it to anyone who suffers from ocd/anxiety. The writing was amazing and these doctors clearly know what they are talking about. It was easy to follow and understand. I thought the narrator did a great job too. She spoke in a very soothing, sympathetic tone that made me feel calm, safe and not judged.

The only criticism I can give is that they should have marketed this book more toward ocd. Almost every scenario seemed to highlight someone with severe ocd, not just anxiety. Sadly, the two usually are locked hand in hand. I really enjoyed all of the specific stories of the suffering individuals. My ocd has leap frogged to nearly every of those examples at some point throughout my life. I felt such compassion and sadness for all of them though it was also comforting to see how many others suffer from ocd as sometimes I feel so alone. They strive to make their lives better with their obsessions and compulsions but sadly, ocd always makes everything worse.

This book gives a lot of great coping methods though it may startle some ppl to feel like they have “no control over anything” and that “certainty does not exist.” I’m not sure I entirely agree with that thinking but it was relieving to discover that most of my efforts are useless, particularly for the things I worry about. One line really resonated with me, “weigh your efforts against the cost of your hyper-vigilance.” This really spoke to me bc almost always, my constant checking and ruminating simply enrage and hurt those around me, I never succeed in preventing anything from happening or predicting the future. But ocd often tricks you into feeling like worry is productive.

One of my main compulsions is validation seeking, my ocd is ravenous for reassurance. Anything I am ruminating over, no matter how nonsensical, I turn to the internet and my loved ones for hours of validation. I am going to do my best to let these moments pass and to tap more into my wise mind, though I guess I will need to find it first if worried voice ever shuts up lol.

I am going to implement what I’ve learned from this book and I’ll def read it again and again. I highly recommend it to anyone suffering from severe ocd and anxiety and it may even be helpful to those who are trying to understand an inflicted love one. Thank you for this wonderful book and good luck to all my fellow sufferers ♥️

Very helpful

The first two chapters made me anxious. But there are so many great tips given in this book. I absolutely love it.

excellent

A must read if you have OCD. interesting and informative. gives you real tools to use.

good story but poorly delivered

found the voice of the speaker annoying . I couldn't stick with it and gave up after an hour. might try hardback

The dialogue

The dialogue between “worried voice”, “false comfort” and “wise mind” bothers me. The book is interesting and very helpful, but the way the text is read is very repetitive and frustrating to listen to.
Example “Worried voice: XYZ, supportive friend: XYZ, Worried voice: ABC, supportive friend: …, worried voice:… etc”
It ends up sounding too repetitive and difficult to follow. It could have been brought much more natural. Good book but I don’t know if I will be able to finish it because of the repetitiveness… a shame!

I wish I found this book earlier.

Helpful in so many ways, a simple and effective approach to dealing with OCD. therapists should use this book and not overcomplicate things.

For anyone reading this book struggling with OCD related issues, from personal experience I would recommend using a combination of therapy based treatment as well as mindfulness/spiritual practices. To get started with true mindfulness I would highly recommend 'The power of now' by Eckhart Tolle.