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Malaise Falchion Audiobook

Malaise Falchion: The Spade Case Files

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Publisher's Summary

Disgraced during the Demon War, Dwarf investigator Snazdaggin Kundarik (Spade to his friends) wants nothing more than a desk to sleep on, a bottle of grog to drink, and the occasional easy case for quick pay.

Then a mysterious female Elf from the posh side of town shows up and offers him exoneration for his past sins and lots of gold. All he has to do is follow her brother and report his activities. Simple, right?

He should have known better. The simple job soon spirals out of control. Spade finds himself sucked into intrigue, powerful magic, and the hunt for a weapon powerful enough to end the world. Ill-prepared, Spade forges on with the aid of his hapless sidekick and a reluctant female warrior.

Will he survive long enough to save the world and get his grog?

©2016 Paul Barrett (P)2017 Paul Barrett

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  •  
    The Super-duper Amazing Silver Golem 07-07-17

    I love a good chaotic adventure with creativity, heart and lots of laughs.

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    "Well narrated, but odd mystery/fantasy wackiness.
    "

    "Malaise Falchion: The Spade Case Files" is an utterly ridiculous action packed mystery tale swarming with personality and strange clashing fantasy stereotypes. This book is a relatively unknown diamond in the rough so far, because one has to practically stumble across it on audible.com. However, once discovered listeners will find that it makes for a great audiobook once given the chance. Mystery, comedy, action, and fantasy collide here in an oddly entertaining way.

    Jack Wayne was a perfect choice to narrate this story as well. Without his voice this audiobook would only be on the upperside of so-so,  but his vocal range brings the whole story to life. From the jaded alcoholic dwarven detective named Spade to his oddball reptilian pals to his stuck up elven employeer, each character sounds unique and memorable.

    Recommended to listeners who believe both fantasy and mystery is at it's best when it is full of nonsensical ironic slap stick humor and self aware jokes.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Tyler U. 05-11-17
    Tyler U. 05-11-17
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    "Wish I could give more stars! Great Book!"

    I was given this free review copy audio book at my request and have voluntarily left this review.

    So, this was a great combination of detective noir with fantasy. The story was fun,interesting and exceedingly entertaining.

    The narrator, though, truly made this audio book for me. He has become one of my favorites. I will look for more from him!

    If you like either noir (think Dick Tracy) or high fantasy (Lord of the Rings), you should definitely check this one out.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Cameron F. 05-10-17
    Cameron F. 05-10-17 Member Since 2017
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    "Fantasy detective noir - voiced tough & hardboiled"

    If you like your fantasy hardboiled and gritty this audiobook may be for you. Paul Barrett's tale of Dwarf investigator Snazdaggin Kundarik (or Spade) skillfully employs much-loved tropes from the tradition of hardboiled crime literature and film noir. If readers enjoy the 'Garrett, P.I.' and 'Black Company' stories by Glen Cook then they are in the right place here.

    'Malaise Falchion' is driven by the first-person narrative viewpoint of central protagonist Spade. Jack Wayne's performance fills out Spade's personality. If descriptors such as grizzled, tough and smooth-talkin' were in the brief for the job of narrator, Jack Wayne nailed it.

    I was voluntarily provided this review copy audiobook at no charge by the author, publisher and/or narrator.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Myztikal On the Edge of Glory 05-09-17
    Myztikal On the Edge of Glory 05-09-17

    Audiobooks are a gal's best friend :)

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    "Best Noir Comedic Fantasy"
    Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

    I'd recommend it, I'd play it during a dinner party, or I'd convince them to listen and review as my birthday prezzie this year.


    What did you like best about this story?

    "Instead of dying in a hot fire, why don't you shave a blazing porker up your **** and parboil your innards."

    Omfgoddess ... this book was filled with the funniest dialogues. Idk how the narrator kept a straight face as he read it!


    What does Jack Wayne bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

    Everything. The accent and ability to make the bad asses bad and the double crossers hated.
    Had I read the book, some of the humour would have gone over my head, actually.


    Any additional comments?

    “I was voluntarily provided this free review copy audiobook by the author, narrator, or publisher.”

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Amazon Customer 05-05-17
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    "Dwarves, Elves, and Demons. What's not to like?"
    If you could sum up Malaise Falchion in three words, what would they be?

    Fantasy, Action, Magic


    Did the plot keep you on the edge of your seat? How?

    The story keeps you enthralled as you constantly try to figure out in this battle of good vs evil, which side is good and which is evil. Betrayal, twists, and constant action throughout.


    Which scene was your favorite?

    There is a large build up to the final battle at the end, which is well written and excellently narrated. Much better than the huge build up and then nothing that you get at the end of a popular vampire series that I won't mention the name of. Yeesh!


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    There is one scene where a main character has to go through a pretty major self sacrifice in order to help their side and the author describes it in a way so that the reader can almost feel the character's misery.


    Any additional comments?

    All around well-written and narrated book. At 8 1/2 hours, it's the perfect length for a long car ride or to help pass the time during a dull day of busy-work. An action/mystery with elves, wizards, dwarves, orcs, hobgoblins, demons etc.... It's kind of a Tolkien meets Dick Tracy story.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    T.J. Phillisp 05-03-17 Member Since 2015
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    "fantastic"

    a new twist on the life of a private detective. not my favorite genre but an enjoyable read

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    MelHay Adamsburg, PA 08-02-17
    MelHay Adamsburg, PA 08-02-17

    Fantasy & UF reader/blogger/writer. Content Editor. Photographer. I prefer to live in my own version of the world,no matter how weird it is.

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    "Noir fantasy with spice."
    Did the plot keep you on the edge of your seat? How?

    Okay. This story is plain fun. You have your fantasy beings - Orcs, Ogres, Dwarves, Elves and more. Then you have your noir mystery feel as Spade is a PI. Then you throw in skeletons and zombies! LOL! Yes! What a combo in one story! And there are the small jokes I enjoyed, like Crizlyk biting the Orcs. lol.

    We get the adventure in Spade's case that includes fighting with wands, magic, and fists on ground and in the air. So much damage! lol. Awesome fights as we view the world.

    Spade is a dwarf that has his own secret ability, but with the way it makes him feel he doesn't use it much. He also is one that loves to drink and maybe not shower as much. It also seems his brains fall when a beautiful woman is in sight. He missed the clues in a few scenes. I had picked up early on who the culprit was, and I was right.

    There was a point in the book where I was waiting for the conclusion. Anticipation? Maybe. But I was ready to get to the end.


    What about Jack Wayne’s performance did you like?

    I was pleasantly surprised when listening to this story. Jack did a gruff, rough type voice for Spade and it feels to fit him and the story perfectly from the first word. Then when Crizlyk comes in I'm impressed with his voice. It's different, and feels to fit the size of the being. All the characters have their own tones along with personalities that fit them with the descriptions given in the story. Words and vocals work together to give us a complete feel for the characters in their situations. There was something small I noticed in the audio book through. There are times when Jack sounded different than his normal narration of the story telling. Almost like the section was cut out and a recorded section seamlessly spliced in. What I heard was a different tone than the story around it. It was a small catch and I'm not sure if that's what it is or my iPod, but I caught it in different sections through the story. But don't let this take away from the story as it's well done all around.


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    Something this book touches on is prejudice. The goblins and hobgoblins have been treated like the dark dirt that no one wants to even step on. They are tired of being treated so poorly with no rights. Though they go to an extreme that's not good, but it raises thoughts on the subject. And can be related to subjects in the world. I like that in the fun there was something solid tucked in there.


    Any additional comments?

    *I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review.

    This story is different in that it's a fantasy with a noir mystery feel to it. I really like that blend! And there is spice to the characters. Spade is one that doesn't take or give bull. He's a straight shooter with a dry sense of humor. This was well done as his personality is one that's not going to be liked by many other characters. And we see that. But everyone still needs to work together because if not, things are going to get messed up with to many hands working in different directions because they all don't know what's going on. (Mostly Spade will be a problem if he's not told the truth because he's working his case.)

    I would enjoy following Spade along on more adventures. I liked him and his friends. Plus, here are hints that there is more to a history of a friends people and I would like to learn more about that. I do hope to see more books!

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    DabOfDarkness Ojo Caliente, NM, United States 06-18-17
    DabOfDarkness Ojo Caliente, NM, United States 06-18-17 Member Since 2011
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    "Great noir mystery D&D mashup!"

    The Dwarf Spade is a private detective who’s in disgrace with his family & clan. When an Elf lord shows up demanding he not assist a certain client, Spade gets drawn into this intrigue with the promise of redemption. Lizard archers, magicians, dragon planes, goblins, and more populate this book.

    This is a fantastic mashup of the noir detective and the D&D fantasy genres. I had so much fun with this book! In fact, I listened to it twice since I had left it on my phone when we headed out on a long road trip. My husband greatly enjoyed this book as well.

    Now the story does start off a bit light on the female characters. Spade and his little lizard side kick, Crizz, get beaten up by these thugs hired by an elf lord who bears the assassin’s guild tattoo. Yep. That should be enough to dissuade Spade from taking the next case that walks in his door; a young lady elf seeks his help. Perhaps the elf lord should have offered gold instead of beatings. Eventually we get some more lady characters. I especially love Liz the female lizard archer. She’s so practical and so gentle with Crizz, who has a crush on Liz that will never be returned.

    A quest! Yes, we have a quest! It’s a crazy, wonderful ride. I love all the humor, most of which is dry observation. It’s witty and acerbic most of the time. I especially enjoyed Spade’s comments on dragon airplane travel for the masses.

    The range of magical peoples in this book is great too. If Dashiell Hammet and the folks behind the Dragonlance novels coupled and produced a grumpy baby, this would be that baby. I was delightfully surprised by the variety and also how even minor characters add something to the plot.

    I’m really hoping there are Spade Case novels in the making.

    I received a free copy of this book from Falcon Sound Company.

    The Narration: Jack Wayne did a great job with this book. I loved his grumpy, low gravelly voice for Spade. He made each character sound distinct and there were some challenging voices in this book with all the D&D characters! He was also wonderful with the emotions and the dry humor.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jenniferk sc 06-05-17
    Jenniferk sc 06-05-17 Member Since 2010

    Voracious reader

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    "More grog!"
    Any additional comments?

    A funny grumpy drunk dwarf. How much more fun couldn't get. This is a fun listen. Full of interesting and unusual characters. A good storyline to follow as the grumpy dwarf Spade investigates. At the end of the case more grog!“I was voluntarily provided this free review copy audiobook by the author, narrator, or publisher.”

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Ryan 06-05-17
    Ryan 06-05-17 Member Since 2017
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    "A noir D&D mystery."

    If you like a fantasy setting, and you like noir mystery, then this title sits right in the sweet spot for both. Our main hero is a dwarf private detective, who is hired by an elf, in a city run by a wizard. I really enjoyed this book as it brings in all of the tropes of fantasy to build the world without being bogged down in description of every nuance of the setting. In noir fashion we follow Spade in first person as he seeks to unravel the truth behind his mysterious employer and the job he is hired for.

    For those who have played D&D there are a lot of call backs, but isn't a requirement to enjoy the story. It was a fun adventure following Spade and the rag tag group of misfits he gathers around himself and easy to get lost in the story.

    The narrator did a great job in showing the personality of our main hero who is gruff and cynical of the world around him. He can be crude and this book is aimed at a mature audience as there is more than a little bit of language and that goes with that.

    Overall I would recommend this book to anyone who enjoys a light hearted mystery and adventure story that purposefully parodies both fantasy and mystery with some subtle (and not so subtle) call outs to game culture.

    ***I was given a free copy of this audiobook by the narrator, publisher or author in exchange for an honest review***




    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
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  • Amy
    7/14/17
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    ",Detective Dungeons and Dragons...AWESOME!"

    This is a light, fun, gently humourous book which feels remarkably substantial and, despite the oddities, real. I loved it and can wholeheartedly recommend it to other listeners. My deep thanks to the rights holder who freely gifted me my copy of Malaise Falchion: The Spade Case Files , and so introduced me to Jack Wayne I enjoyed it so much that I have already requested another book narrated by him. He has a voice like great bourbon and warm honey and portrayed Spate our resident gumshoe detective exceedingly well.He made him sound like an old black and white movie detective in a long cote a hat and a cigar in his mouth wondering where his next drink was coming for and getting tangled up with some dame.That's the mental image I got anyway ...even though he no human thats still the vibe I got.Making him a dwarf just rolled this book in to my wheelhouse :) And as it goes Spade does indeed get tangled up with "some dame"which leads him down a crazy path filled with.Elf Clans,Necromancers,zombies,teleportation,Magical assassins ,People with blindspots for family ,a twin tragedy dilemma,Dragons,spells,And lets face it general hi-jinx ensue.
    Jack Wayne was the perfect narrator for this,his voice is deep and has an amazing timbre to it but he still manages to pull off Liz's voice wonderfully.Liz is my favorite character.what urban fantasy female addict doesn't love a hot lizard lady who can kick some major butt and has her bow and arrow and can transmogrify .My favorite part was 100% the "Dragon Line" it is like this worlds airline.I was in stitches as the "Air hosted " went through the "safety" protocols although I loved Spades assistant krislik.Join Spade and his merry band of misfits on this their mission to stop a weapon from devastating the world as they know it with the big threat from the Colder coven.I promise It is epicly worth your time and credit.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Terence Thirteen
    Berkshire Downs, New Germany, South Africa
    6/16/17
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    "Mickey Spillane meets Terry Pratchett..."

    The title of this book is obviously a play on Dashiell Hammett’s 1930’s novel “The Maltese Falcon”, which featured Sam Spade, the private detective, as its main protagonist. However, I would best describe Paul Barrett’s creation as Mickey Spillane and Terry Pratchett meet in the afterlife and decide to collaborate on a novel… The result: “The Malaise Falchion: The Spade Case Files”.

    Imagine Stacy Keach’s Mike Hammer as a dwarf detective, living and working in a place like the Discworld, only darker and deadlier but just as humorous… If that sounds interesting to you, buy this book!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful

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