Mistakes Were Made (but Not By Me) Third Edition

Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts

By: Carol Tavris, Elliot Aronson

Narrated by: Carol Tavris

Renowned social psychologists Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson take a compelling look into how the brain is wired for self-justification. This updated edition concludes with an extended discussion of how we can live with dissonance, learn from it, and perhaps, eventually, forgive ourselves.

Why is it so hard to say “I made a mistake”—and really believe it?

When we make mistakes, cling to outdated attitudes, or mistreat other people, we must calm the cognitive dissonance that jars our feelings of self-worth. And so, unconsciously, we create fictions that absolve us of responsibility, restoring our belief that we are smart, moral, and right—a belief that often keeps us on a course that is dumb, immoral, and wrong. Backed by years of research, Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me) offers a fascinating explanation of self-justification—how it works, the damage it can cause, and how we can overcome it.

“Entertaining, illuminating and—when you recognize yourself in the stories it tells—mortifying.”—Wall Street Journal

“Every page sparkles with sharp insight and keen observation. Mistakes were made—but not in this book!”—Daniel Gilbert, author of Stumbling on Happiness

How we can lose sight of our goals and core values

It is amazing how wrapped up we get in ourselves and what’s going on around us. we can easily of what our true core values are if we are not watching this was very eye-opening to me

Mistakes Were Made (but not by the authors?)

Good presentation of long-standing value of CD theory gives us all something to ponder deeply when we want to stand up for our actions/beliefs/motives. Empowers us to step outside our own thinking and feeling to find resolve and quiet the crazy cycle that promotes conflict in human relationships.
However, I kept wanting to ask “why do the authors exclude themselves from falling into the same trap they claim we’re all in?” Their assumptions are often (and I mean OFTEN) presented as fact and gross oversimplifications are staggering when discussing sociological dynamics of politics. You might want to skip those parts. Taints the value of the psychological perspectives of a lifetime of work.
New chapter is laughable as of date in my opinion. They could have just said “Donald Trump struggles with NPD and we as a democracy have scrambled to manage his disorder in our opinion. At least he didn’t start a war (uh... We mean a “conflict” like another narcissist LBJ).” That could’ve explained it painlessly compared to attempting to give us pages of bloody details and then trivializing all motives of his support base and cabinet. Just unnecessary and certainly incomplete I think. But maybe I’m self-justifying my decision to NOT vote for Trump!?!

interesting to the last page

loved this book. after reading there is no doubt you'll have to reevaluate your excuses, and why you gave them. I strongly suggest reading this book, for your sake, your friends, and for your family.

important book

Deals with difficult things to explain, and does a very clear job of explaining them.

Woke before woke was Vogue!

Very biased in several areas. Gave a 3 star solely on relationships chapter otherwise not worth time or money.