Life Is in the Transitions

Mastering Change at Any Age

By: Bruce Feiler

Narrated by: Bruce Feiler

Length: 10 hrs and 40 mins

Publisher's Summary

A New York Times Best Seller!

A pioneering and timely study of how to navigate life's biggest transitions with meaning, purpose, and skill

Bruce Feiler, author of the New York Times best sellers The Secrets of Happy Families and Council of Dads, has long explored the stories that give our lives meaning. Galvanized by a personal crisis, he spent the last few years crisscrossing the country, collecting hundreds of life stories in all 50 states from Americans who’d been through major life changes - from losing jobs to losing loved ones; from changing careers to changing relationships; from getting sober to getting healthy to simply looking for a fresh start. He then spent a year coding these stories, identifying patterns and takeaways that can help all of us survive and thrive in times of change. 

What Feiler discovered was a world in which transitions are becoming more plentiful and mastering the skills to manage them is more urgent for all of us. The idea that we’ll have one job, one relationship, one source of happiness is hopelessly outdated. We all feel unnerved by this upheaval. We’re concerned that our lives are not what we expected, that we’ve veered off course, living life out of order. But we’re not alone. 

Life Is in the Transitions introduces the fresh, illuminating vision of the nonlinear life, in which each of us faces dozens of disruptors. One in 10 of those becomes what Feiler calls a lifequake, a massive change that leads to a life transition. The average length of these transitions is five years. The upshot: We all spend half our lives in this unsettled state. You or someone you know is going through one now. 

The most exciting thing Feiler identified is a powerful new tool kit for navigating these pivotal times. Drawing on his extraordinary trove of insights, he lays out specific strategies each of us can use to reimagine and rebuild our lives, often stronger than before. 

From a master storyteller with an essential message, Life Is in the Transitions can move listeners of any age to think deeply about times of change and how to transform them into periods of creativity and growth. 

©2020 Bruce Feiler (P)2020 Penguin Audio

Critic Reviews

"This is a remarkably poignant read about the pivotal moments in our lives. Bruce Feiler gets to the heart of how turning points shape us - and how we can shape them. The wisdom and stories in this book will change the way you tell your own story." (Adam Grant, best-selling author of Originals and Give and Take)

"Crammed with cutting-edge research and compelling real-world examples, Life Is in the Transitions provides a framework of striking originality that explodes with thought-provoking insights. It has profound implications for how we view and handle the transitions - voluntary and involuntary - that increasingly disrupt our lives. And it's one of the rare books that is a pleasure to read in the moment and impossible to forget once you’ve finished the last page." (Gretchen Rubin, best-selling author of The Happiness Project and The Four Tendencies) 

"I don't know what’s more astonishing, the range of stories Bruce Feiler has found in asking people about their lives, or the wisdom he extracts from them. There is no more powerful reminder that the stories we inherit define success - and that definition constantly needs updating. This beautiful book is an indispensable guide to accepting change - as it really is, rather than what it’s supposed to be - and becoming who we really are." (Charles Duhigg, author of best sellers The Power of Habit and Smarter Faster Better)

One of the most important survival guides

As a mental health professional for over thirty years, I have read countless books on psychology. This one is so unique! It will be used in academic and professional circles for many, many years to come, I predict. The research was thorough, new patterns discerned, and the book offers stories of real people (disclosure, my story is used too) who have experienced all kinds of traumatic events and come out stronger and wiser as a result. In this time of pandemic economic upheaval, I think this book can be a survival guide for readers. It offers practical and hopeful paradigms that give meaning and purpose and some control amidst the chaos and fear of the unknown. I know about storytelling and it’s power. Bruce Feiler is a master story teller and his traumas has helped him become very grounded and wise. Although I purchased the hardcover, when I realized Bruce read his own book, I got the audio too. I loved listening to hear read this book! It brought the stories to a personal level which touched me deeply. He is a good man who cares about humanity. Kudos.

Depressing mostly.

I was really hoping to learn some life lessons. It was an amazing piece of work as Bruce interviews so many people and learns about their life stories, but there was no real coherent lesson learned here. Other than there are so many directions our lives can go after difficulties and we decide what direction to take.

Awe inspiring

This book could not have come at a better for me than now. It makes one ponder and consider ones own life story. If you’re looking for some semblance of direction to find meaning, this book is very helpful.

Life-changing book

This is incredible book to read/ hear, a book for this time. The premise... is life transitions are difficult,
inevitable, and yet transformative... if we allow them to be. There are two basic kinds of transitions:
the individual ones (the death of a loved one), and the communal ones (like 9-11) we face as a people.
This is not a 'how to' with easy steps to follow, but he directs the reader facing a transition to examine
one's life... and see the big picture. Also... share one's story with others, because in the sharing,
comes a glimpse of purpose and a possible way forward. This essentially is a book of the
stories and experiences of many.. who faced crisis and/or loss, and what they did with it.
This is a wonderful inspiration for those reading this is a book club or group. I highly recommend.

Touched my heart and lends shape to my life.

I deeply love love this book. It resonated with me in a way few other books have. I will be listening to it again and again.
Thank you Bruce. I'm grateful for what you have brought to the world.

Insights into Change

“Transitions” offers useful guidance for people struggling with change in their lives, whether they are seeking change, needing change or having change imposed on them. Bruce Feiler conducted hundreds of interviews for the book, which results in anecdote after anecdote about how people dealt with change. The changes are often traumatic, and the individuals tend to become better people once they’ve worked through the transitions—often taking many years. But the anecdotes pile up too much, sometimes becoming monotonous and at other times just too cursory. And I disagreed with Feiler’s dismissal of the many psychologists who see patterns in life’s transitions, patterns like the mid-life crisis or the five stages of grief. Feiler tends to dismiss these patterns wholesale because they do not apply equally to everyone. It sometimes seemed like he was taking down straw men, not the thoughtful professionals who developed these complex theories. Feiler reads well, but I prefer professional narrators to authors reading their own works.

When Your Life Feels Meaningless, Read This Book!

I can’t wait to reread this book! At 70+ years old, I often feel disappointed in myself. There are so many things I have attempted and failed to follow through. So many things I have thought about doing but never tried. Bruce Feiler has inspired me to keep trying and failing to make my story into one that will inspire others on earth after I have left for my heavenly home. Thank you, Bruce Feiler, and your dad!

perfect for these times

the best read during the pandemic to be inspired through this huge, global transition!

Incredible

Truly enjoyed listening to this book and learning from the stories included in the book. I have learned many lessons that I’m going to implement in my life and how I think about life’s transitions.

Superb Observation, Concept and Topic.

Observation about life and universality of the topic is great. Good writing and storytelling. Obviously, it engages the reader/listener (why I am writing a review).

The persistent return to transgenderism as some 'universal' transition of the human condition or the human condition is very offsetting.

I could understand using that as an example once ,twice, or a few times, but once introduced, Bruce returns to that example and experience repeatedly as if we are supposed to somehow relate to that.

I just feel there are SO many other universal experiences of our human experience that we go through on much larger majorities. The human story is wrought with everything from plagues, to wars, famines, hurricanes, tornadoes, cancers,, etc. He does a good job of using real world examples that reminded me of my own lost child and lost loved ones, and other things we all go through. I can mildly imagine and extrapolate to my own experience some inner battle one must have from going through a 'transgender' process but to return repeatedly to that as some example that we are all supposed to relate to or use as some framework is very off putting. It is NOT something the vast majority of people can relate to, not when there are SO many other things that we ALL DO relate to and experience - job loss, betrayal, death, sickness, etc. It seemed very heavy handed and seeking cultural relevancy rather than human experience based.

Proceed with the name calling and telling me how homophobic or terrible I am for my two cents.

So good I binged the whole book in a weekend

This book is so affirming for all of us facing 'life quakes'. Bruce argues the linear life we may expect is not the life we are likely to get. Instead we need to become adept at change, catastrophe, opportunity, and all kinds of disruption to the linear life (university, marriage, kids, steady career progression, retirement) and make our lives meaniful. Using evidence collected from the stories of 100s of people, he offers guidance and tools to get us through the tough times. Excellent work, well written and well read.