It's Not Always Depression

Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self
Length: 8 hrs and 15 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (221 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

Fascinating patient stories and dynamic exercises help you connect to healing emotions, ease anxiety and depression, and discover your authentic self. 

Sara suffered a debilitating fear of asserting herself. Spencer experienced crippling social anxiety. Bonnie was shut down, disconnected from her feelings. These patients all came to psychotherapist Hilary Jacobs Hendel seeking treatment for depression, but in fact none of them were chemically depressed. Rather, Jacobs Hendel found that they’d all experienced traumas in their youth that caused them to put up emotional defenses that masqueraded as symptoms of depression. Jacobs Hendel led these patients and others toward lives newly capable of joy and fulfillment through an empathic and effective therapeutic approach that draws on the latest science about the healing power of our emotions. 

Whereas conventional therapy encourages patients to talk through past events that may trigger anxiety and depression, accelerated experiential dynamic psychotherapy (AEDP), the method practiced by Jacobs Hendel and pioneered by Diana Fosha, PhD, teaches us to identify the defenses and inhibitory emotions (shame, guilt, and anxiety) that block core emotions (anger, sadness, fear, disgust, joy, excitement, and sexual excitement). Fully experiencing core emotions allows us to enter an openhearted state where we are calm, curious, connected, compassionate, confident, courageous, and clear. 

In It’s Not Always Depression, Jacobs Hendel shares a unique and pragmatic tool called the Change Triangle—a guide to carry you from a place of disconnection back to your true self. In these pages, she teaches lay readers and helping professionals alike:

  • Why all emotions—even the most painful—have value. 
  • How to identify emotions and the defenses we put up against them. 
  • How to get to the root of anxiety—the most common mental illness of our time. 
  • How to have compassion for the child you were and the adult you are.

Jacobs Hendel provides navigational tools, body and thought exercises, candid personal anecdotes, and profound insights gleaned from her patients’ remarkable breakthroughs. She shows us how to work the Change Triangle in our everyday lives and chart a deeply personal, powerful, and hopeful course to psychological well-being and emotional engagement. 

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2018 Hilary Jacobs Hendel (P)2018 Random House Audio
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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Simple and Profound

I was very surprised and delighted by how easy this book was to understand. It was very important to me because I have witnessed how tenacious my own defences are when trying to make emotional connections. The process is not easy and must be undertaken gently and with a great deal of self compassion. The author explains her techniques in a clear, jargon free manner and I was able to put them into practice right away.

The second thing I really loved about the audio book was that it was voiced by the author. She really did a great job and comes across as a sincere, open hearted person.

14 people found this helpful

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Amazing!

Everyone should read this book. I'm a therapist and plan to give it to my family and refer it to all of my clients!

9 people found this helpful

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Amazing

Highly recommend to anyone wanting to understand how to deal with emotions and how to respond when they overwhelm you! Changed my life!

5 people found this helpful

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Maybe for practitioners....

Not my favorite. Listening to this book was like reading IKEA assembly instructions. This might be something counselors enjoy although I felt there was a bit too much of a what “I” did, then “I”, “I” wanted etc. from the author. Didn’t enjoy the referenced PDFs throughout since it’s a audio book, wish there was a way to skip over those plug ins. Overall the book was - ok. Nothing so enlightening that will change your life but I hope someone gets something out of it.

4 people found this helpful

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Wow! Great! Something I’ve grasped and might use!

This book helps with your emotions instead of blocking them. I feel better after listening to it! My bad feelings are still there but now I feel like I can handle them! The book has a great system of dealing with our emotions and feelings.

4 people found this helpful

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Very useful self help book for emotional healing

Hilary Hendel provides an insightful and accessible interpretation of attachment psychotherapy. Although this book can be used as a “stand alone” I found it to be a powerful adjunct to working with an attachment therapist. The combination of case narratives, explanations of theory and exercises for the reader both hold our attention and invite active involvement in our personal emotional healing.

1 person found this helpful

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Excellent book for understanding emotions

Transformational! Helped me to understand how to reach deeply into my emotional life to experience and process my feelings both negative and positive ones!! Very important book for therapists as it provides a comprehensive approaching to processing trauma not simply a list of tools. Very powerful for both lay people and professional s who grapple with our emotional well being at the most fundamental level and in a day to day manner. Very highly recommended!

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A healing MUST!

Loved it! More people need to understand all of this powerful framework to recover and heal.

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Great book

I got what I was hoping to get from this book. It explores deeply how mindfulness can fill the gaps and problems that we create by ignoring or inhibiting our natural emotions. I loved it.

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Excellent information everyone needs to know!

Essential information, great structure and delivery. Love all the examples as it makes it so much easier to understand how to work the change triangle in real situations. Learning this will make our lives so much better and more fulfilling!