The All-or-Nothing Marriage

How the Best Marriages Work

De: Eli J Finkel

Narrado por: Mark Deakins

“After years of debate and inquiry, the key to a great marriage remained shrouded in mystery. Until now...”—Carol Dweck, author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success

Eli J. Finkel's insightful and ground-breaking investigation of marriage clearly shows that the best marriages today are better than the best marriages of earlier eras. Indeed, they are the best marriages the world has ever known. He presents his findings here for the first time in this lucid, inspiring guide to modern marital bliss.

The All-or-Nothing Marriage reverse engineers fulfilling marriages—from the “traditional” to the utterly nontraditional—and shows how any marriage can be better.

The primary function of marriage from 1620 to 1850 was food, shelter, and protection from violence; from 1850 to 1965, the purpose revolved around love and companionship. But today, a new kind of marriage has emerged, one oriented toward self-discover, self-esteem, and personal growth. Finkel combines cutting-edge scientific research with practical advice; he considers paths to better communication and responsiveness; he offers guidance on when to recalibrate our expectations; and he even introduces a set of must-try “lovehacks.”

This is a book for the newlywed to the empty nester, for those thinking about getting married or remarried, and for anyone looking for illuminating advice that will make a real difference to getting the most out of marriage today.

Includes a PDF of Supplemental Images and Graphics

Excellence resource: highly recommended

A great review of the history of marriage and how it continues to evolve in the 21st century. It is practical, well researched and I believe would help a lot of married couples meet their core needs and support their partners needs too. I ordered the paperback too.

well executed and thorough.

great conceptual models, historical reference, and narrative journey. Approaches examining a marriage from thought before emotion.

no new insights

The book solidified a lot of what i already knew, it was a good refresher

Informative, thoughtful and with a bit of humor

It was surprisingly helpful for me to have context around the history and expectations of the marriage relationship. Having only experienced the perception of marriage by way of my own upbringing, I found the author's approach enlightening, thoughtful, and genuinely helpful. I benefitted from a series of 'epiphanies' in listening to the findings of fundamental research regarding common social challenges to lifelong marriage. Of biggest help to me was the realization of how much contemporary couples can place on our spouse for personal fulfillment. Good stuff. I would never have READ this entire book, as the research recitation was sometimes tedious, but it was an easy and interesting listen.

Best relationship book ever

This is definitely the best relationship book I've read. I highly recommend reading this book!

Setting your own course for success with your partner. Always Working on yourself first.

Very good comprehensive view of the origin of marriage, what it’s become; and how to best navigate it for success for yourself and your partner

Research Paper vs Compelling Story

I’ll start of with the Pros:
- very data driven, and factual information
- lots of visuals to illustrate points
- represents the realities of Marriage
- gives good advice to get through some rough patches

Cons:
- the most memorable parts are when he talks about his own marriage, and uses stories to illustrate his point rather than just data from studies
- feels like 3 different books in one, 1) history of marriage, 2) marriage in practice 3) lovehacks
- very hard to read, it felt more like a research paper than a book I was reading.
- talks a lot about women in marriage but not a lot about men in marriage

Exactly the Cerebral Investigation I Wanted

I highly recommend "The All or Nothing Marriage" for those who are either intellectually curious about the norms of marriage, the validities of such norms, the direction marriage is taking in our culture, where it's come from in the past, why things are so hard, or are otherwise questioning the fulfillment of their marriage. Very interesting book with lots to think about and practical advice of sorts.

Good book to acquire perspective

Very informative, loved that it is practical and gives examples about situations so that you can not only understand the concept, but learn how to recognize it!.

Realistically improve in your marriage

The love hacks were realistic and simple. The history of marriage and the expectations we have of a marriage was so interesting. I definitely plan to implement some of the ideas from this book into my own marriage