I Want This to Work

An Inclusive Guide to Navigating the Most Difficult Relationship Issues We Face in the Modern Age

“Elizabeth Earnshaw’s gentle guidance will help any type of couple, whether they are dealing with small day-to-day problems or long-standing conflicts. She takes an accessible approach to couples therapy on the page, making these relationship tools feel easy—and even fun.”

—Lori Gottlieb, LMFT, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone


A contemporary, culturally inclusive, and easy-to-digest relationship book for the modern age

Today’s generation is changing the rules about committed relationships—and looking to create more meaning within their lives. We are more selective before getting married, with more diverse families and family structures, and we’ve seen a whopping 18 percent drop in divorce rates. In this new environment, what couples need more than ever are effective, flexible tools to communicate, navigate hard times, and create deeper connections with their partners.

Elizabeth Earnshaw is here to help. The renowned Gottman therapist, founder of A Better Life Therapy, and influential Instagram therapist behind @lizlistens has helped to transform countless relationships. With I Want This to Work, she presents for today’s generation the most effective and proven steps for relationship success.

“We’re in a cultural moment,” she says, “where people are hungry to absorb the principles for healthy relationships. This book answers that call.”

Here, couples will learn how to work with the three challenges they must tackle to repair and strengthen their relationships: conflict, healing, and connection. They’ll learn fundamental principles including:

• Why it’s not working
• Creating space that makes it safe to connect
• How to navigate hot conversations
• The five-part relationship system
• Busting the romantic notion that our better half “completes” us
• Growing up and growing out—how both your early years and the social connections you make as an adult influence your relational beliefs, feelings, and patterns

In a supportive and relatable voice, Elizabeth simplifies complex concepts and provides core insights, exercises, and reflections to take these tested principles from the page and into real life.

Culturally tuned in, LGBTQIA+ friendly, and written for both married and unmarried couples, this book brings us an accessible guide to relationship healing and creating enduring intimacy.

Worthy read

Work on yourself first - then work on your relationships, and you will reap the benefits of this book. Highly recommend it to adults trying to find a companion, love, and a partnership without leaving themselves behind.

Why isn't this mandatory?

This book and framework should be mandatory across the nation's high schools!!! I just can't believe in my forties how ill equipped we are to deal with relational issues and relationships. and I consider my 18 year marriage pretty dang good! This is by far one of the most important things we do in life and impacts every other area of our lives. I like her framework and the questions/activities. She gives very insightful exploration no matter what stage of a relationship one may be in. I believe it will help all relational interactions, not just the 'couples' type relationship.

Solid advice on successful relationships

My girlfriend and I (over 70) enjoyed the book. We learned some good pointers on overcoming past obstacles that affected us today. Really appreciated the Scripts section of the Appendix.

Spectacular information

The author presents SO many wonderful concepts. I loved the information from the different sources and modalities that she shared.
This is a book that ANY couple Could use as a workbook, unfortunately it doesn’t quite translate with as much impact in audible form.

Excellent content bereft of pdf

Excellent content, passionate and engaging narration. Exercises and appendix should be provided in pdf format.