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Hosed

Narrated by: Jacob Morgan, Virginia Rose
Length: 6 hrs and 4 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (194 ratings)
Regular price: $19.95
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Publisher's Summary

The world’s sexiest firefighter is about to get a second chance with the virgin next door....

He’s bossy, arrogant, and so ridiculously hot that he should come with a warning label and a pair of flame-retardant coveralls.

He’s also the boy who broke my heart when we were in high school.

I want to move in next door to Ryan O’Dell the way I want to be the virgin gamer geek suddenly in charge of running my sister’s sex-toy factory. Too bad both are written in my stars.

Yeah, I’m the world’s oldest virgin code-writing nerd. And he’s the world’s hottest firefighter. And even though he intimidates the heck out of me, I can’t seem to control my libido when he’s around.

Where is my dignity? My self-respect? My panties?

Seriously...have you seen them? Anyone?

Maybe they’re hiding in his bedroom. With my heart.

Yeah, I know. I’m hosed. So hosed.

Hosed is a steamy, fun romantic comedy between a firefighter and the virgin nerd next door, complete with a pet raccoon, scandalous gossip, and dildo football. (No, really.) This romance has no cheating or cliff-hangers and ends with a banging-hot happily ever after.

©2019 Pippa Grant and Lili Valente (P)2019 Pippa Grant and Lili Valente

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

Overall

  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Quirky, original, and fun!

Ok, I loved this. It was silly, sassy, funny, and a bit different.

We have the small Georgia town of Happy Cat, where a woman named Savanna has opened a sex toy factory. Some of the citizens are quite irate about that. But Savanna gets her heart broken, leaves town in her grief and ominous things begin to occur at the factory. Meanwhile, her sister Cassie comes to town to operate the factory in Savanna's absence. When there is a fire at the factory, firefighter Ryan comes to the rescue. They were in high school together, where Ryan unwittingly broke Cassie's heart. That's how the story opens.

But, the charm of this tale is in the small town setting, the quirky characters, and George Cooney, Raccoon Extraordinaire. The love story is sweet, the 'drama' is fun and intriguing, and the denouement is emotionally fulfilling. I laughed many times while listening, and smiled hugely the rest of the time. If you like Lauren Blakely's books, I think you'll like this too. There is some angst, but it's not overdone, mostly I just found myself rooting for these two (and George, of course!), and enjoying my little trip to Happy Cat. I hope this is a series, because Ryan has some hot brothers, and of course there is still Savanna who needs an HEA. This is definitely a book I will listen to many times! (Be sure you listen to the second epilogue, it'll definitely make you laugh.)

The narration was perfect. Jacob Morgan/Zachary Webber was as wonderful as always, and Virginia Rose had just the right soft, sweet voice to perfectly embody Cassie. These two make a great team, and I'd like to see them paired up more often. If this does turn into a series, I certainly hope they narrate each volume! Frankly, I'd like to see them (and hear them!) more frequently in general. They are both too talented not to see more air time. I hope you're listening, Audible!

If you like humorous, unusual, contemporary romance, I think you'll enjoy this. It would be a wonderful pick me up on a blue day, a nice comfort read, or if you've just listened to something dark and heavy this would be a great mood lightener. It's not very long, so it would be a lovely book for the airplane or car, as well. I highly recommend this one!

5 of 5 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Super cute story

Narration was AMAZING!!! Anything with Jacob Morgan is pure gold :) and Virginia did a great job!
It was a unique story line with lots of funny times but not too many sexy times 😜 but even tho it wasn't the steamiest story ever, it is most definitely worth the credit!!!
Side note, the bonus epilogue in the raccoons point of view literally had me rolling on the ground laughing 😂

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

A firefighter, a virgin, sex toy manager & a raccoon

Cassie has returned home to manage her sister’s sex toy factory while she’s on a much needed leave of absence. Yep, Savannah caught her buttoned-up banker, and town darling, husband having sex with...a sheep! Computer programmer, and a true virgin, Cassie is running the factory and she’s uncomfortable with the products. When an arsonist targets the factory, Cassie is determined to find the culprit. Firefighter, Ryan, is the boy who broke Cassie’s heart in high school. Now Cassie has to deal with him at every turn...mainly because he’s also her neighbor...and he owns a pet raccoon! Can Cassie and Ryan catch the arsonist before it’s too late? Good nerd and hot guy story, lots of humor, nosy townspeople and a pet raccoon. Sweet HEA...even for George Coony...the raccoon.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars

Funny, Sexy, Awesome Narrators, Weak Plot

I love these narrators! The dialog is witty. The setting and characters are unique. Such high hopes, but the plot was so, so weak that it totally tanked it for me. Super predictable with no major catch to draw me in and commit to wanting the outcome. I only finished it because of the one liners that were great, but I won’t automatically buy another from the Lili & Pippa duo. You feisty ladies are super talented and smart. Show me more of that!

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Hoosed was LOL Funny !

I really enjoyed listening to this book it made me look forward to my long work commute
I loved the raccoon
Lol funny

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

A wonderfully sweet story, w/plenty of heat!

I loved this! Ryan and Cassie were so sweet. When a family emergency, via the town sex toy factory brings Cassie back to her hometown, she’s forced to face some things she’d rather not—namely Ryan, her high school crush. Now, he’s all grown up, and even hotter than he was, and he’s a firefighter! She needs to avoid this man, and remind her body why she hates Ryan.

When Ryan sees Cassie, he’s reminded of the cute, nerdy girl from school. He really liked her, but she left town and moved to San Francisco to become a computer game engineer. Now, that she’s back, he’s determined to get to know her again. Her words say she’s not interested, but her body says something entirely different. Living in a small town again means everyone is in everyone’s business, and Ryan and Cassie are no exception.

Lili and Pippa had me cracking up with some of the town’s antics. The narration is wonderful. Jacob Morgan is one of my favorites, and he does a great job w/this. Can’t wait to see what’s up next in Happy Cat, Georgia.

Also, George Cooney was the cutest! I hope to get more from him.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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Quirky & Fun

If your interested in a sexy, quirky & fun romance...this is the story for you. The narrators did a good job of portraying the characters & it made for a light & easy listen.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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Thoroughly enjoyed this one!

I never write reviews, but just had to drop a note to say that this book has the best bonus epilogue ever :-)

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars

Nope

I’m sorry even Jacob Morgan can’t save this one. I’m returning it. Stupid stupid stupid. Save your money

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Lube, Smarmy Raccoons, Streets Filled With Toys..

HILARIOUS!
This book was everything I didn't know I needed today!
Off the wall funny, with a town that I would have to stop in to chat with people and visit the happy sun. A raccoon whose popularity and IQ ( George ) really should probably run for mayor, and a gamer, technologically advanced women ( Cassie ) is stuck running her sisters business that sells all things sexy, and a fireman ( Ryan ) who decided to show her the toys she is to promote arent all that scary while George cock blocks and fires are popping up everywhere! No pun intended!
I could not get enough of the madness!
A butterfly inducing had me smiling the whole time rom-com ** especially the bathroom scene, brave, brave girl, I don't know that I would have called for help LOL ** that has set the bar high for any other rom-coms this year!
Jacob Morgan and Virginia Rose made an awesome pair! Loved the narration!
Without a doubt worth the time and credit- this book left me in a much better place than when I started!

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  • all the books are mine!
  • 02-08-19

Fabulous romantic comedy

Loved this audiobook from start to finish. There was such an ease to the story. The whole thing just made me smile.
Loved the narration.
Recommended 😍

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Roobarb
  • 02-02-19

Firemen and raccoons what more could you want?

This was such fun, silly, nice, intriguing and had a wonderful ending.

I hope to meet more of these characters in future

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  • Barbra Lazzarini
  • 02-06-19

Brilliant 💕❤️💕

Who knew that a scene stealing raccoon would be the best part in this fabulous story ..he is and his name is George ..brilliant .. all the characters are beautiful and you too will fall in love with them .. definitely worth a listen..❤️💕❤️