Healing Trauma Through Self-Parenting

The Co-Dependency Connection

By: Patricia O’Gorman, Phil Diaz

Narrated by: Rebecca Rogers, Winter Rogers

Length: 6 hrs and 50 mins

Publisher's Summary

Self-healing through self-parenting, a concept introduced a generation ago, has helped thousands of adult children of alcoholics who are codependent and have conflicts in their primary relationships. Now Patricia O'Gorman, PhD, and Phil Diaz, MSW, authors of the classic book The 12 Steps to Self-Parenting for Adult Children and its companion workbook, expand the reach of that successful healing paradigm to anyone who has suffered from any kind of trauma. Whether they grew up in a dysfunctional home, were victims of violence, or suffered other types of acute distress, many people struggle to determine the impact of earlier trauma on current adult decision making. O'Gorman and Diaz show how trauma is a driver of dysfunctional behaviors and linked with codependency, and they offer a concise yet detailed resource for survivors and thrivers as well as the professionals who work with them.

Through a process modeled after the 12 Steps of AA, Healing Trauma Through Self-Parenting: The Codependency Connection offers help to a broad array of listeners (not just those who are ACOAs) by healing the wounded inner core and helping listeners reconnect to their inner child.

Download the accompanying reference guide.

©2012 Patricia O’Gorman and Phil Diaz (P)2013 Audible, Inc.

Great book and information, terrible readers

What made the experience of listening to Healing Trauma Through Self-Parenting the most enjoyable?

The book itself was wonderful and as a counseling student, I found it very useful and applicable. However, the man who read half of the book has a rather disturbing voice and it was very difficult for me to focus when he was reading. I gained much more knowledge from the chapters read by the woman and less from the ones he read.

What three words best describe Rebecca Rogers and Winter Rogers ’s voice?

Rebecca Rogers: Soothing, interesting, engagingWinter Rogers: Monotone, off-putting, unpleasant

Excellent material - Male Narrator Not Easy On Ear

Where does Healing Trauma Through Self-Parenting rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

Top 2 of all-time favorites. I've read over 30 books in the past year and this is an all-time favorite.

What was one of the most memorable moments of Healing Trauma Through Self-Parenting?

That I spent a year every week in therapy, thousands of dollars later and this book is an exceptional start for anyone who wants to understand Trauma work. It is well-worth the purchase.

What about Rebecca Rogers and Winter Rogers ’s performance did you like?

Rebecca Rogers was outstanding. Winter Roger's...was very difficult to listen to. His presentation could have been so much better. I felt as if he went too slow, his monotone voice needs a little improvement. I'd be reluctant to purchase another book that was narrated by him. I recommended this book to a friend and she said the same. When you want to listen to such exceptional material, his voice is a little distracting. But, by the end of the audio, I relished the material and forgave the authors for choosing the narration.

Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

Oh yes.

Any additional comments?

If you love Trauma Work, listen to Michele Rosenthal on iTune Podcast. It's free and there is so much great material. Her old radio station (Contact Radio) has great material and her own station is exceptional.

Exceptional audiobook held back by poor narration

Would you listen to Healing Trauma Through Self-Parenting again? Why?

I did listen to the entire download, but will purchase the print book to share because the male narration was so strangely distracting from the material. I would not recommend the audiobook format. **I posted my comment to another Amazon reviewer below who called the book outstanding but ended up giving it 2 stars due to narration. While this seems unfair to the authors, I certainly understand the frustration as most of the nearly seven hours was done by this particular narrator. I did not want to miss the material but had to alter the speed as mentioned.

What other book might you compare Healing Trauma Through Self-Parenting to and why?

From Sex Appeal to Self Appeal by Susan Bremer-Oneill and The Road Back to Me by Lisa A. Romano. Both are highly recommended memoirs of how trauma is not always attributed to some big identifiable event, but can develop through the chronic, less obvious insults to the psyche that can occur over childhood and adolescence. Both of these exceptional books also focus on the difficult but necessary work to reconcile and rebuild. Their works exemplify the resiliency that Patricia O'Gormon and Phil Diaz emphasize as critical to recovery and restoration of the self that is often lost to codependent coping mechanism. Listen to the sample of Lisa A Romano's book and you will hear the notable difference it makes when an author narrates their own work. It adds an appreciable dimension to the listening experience. Apparently an audiobook of Susan Bremer-Oneill's From Sex Appeal to Self Appeal is in the works.

How could the performance have been better?

**The material was excellent, I ranked the book 5 stars. However, in the 50+ audiobooks I have listened to, the male narration made it nearly impossible to listen to -breathy, slow and oddly dramatized sentences. I eventually had to increase the play speed to 1.5x normal in order to tolerate. I always prefer author read selections and wish more would do their own reading. Narrators need to really get familiar with the message and tone of the material. Just because "trauma" is in the title does not mean that there has to be drama in the reading. The best narrators sound like authors sharing their work in a comfortable everyday form of speaking/presentation. The work was exceptional, but get this one in print or you will potentially miss it.

What insight do you think you’ll apply from Healing Trauma Through Self-Parenting?

The connection between codependency and trauma, identifying less obvious forms of traumatic experiences and most importantly, healing and moving beyond the past through deep awareness and structured, comprehensive self care.

Any additional comments?

I will definitely look forward to future work by these authors.

The first few chapters are life changing

Then it turns into a big religious sell: if you don't accept God, you'll never heal. Wow. Huge let down from an otherwise scientific perspective with a lot of potential. I will still recommend the first third of this book to all of my codependent friends, but this was exceedingly disappointing.

Codependency? It was about PSTD

What disappointed you about Healing Trauma Through Self-Parenting?

It was not at all what I was looking for and how can I delete it from my library?

Has Healing Trauma Through Self-Parenting turned you off from other books in this genre?

no

Would you be willing to try another one of Rebecca Rogers and Winter Rogers ’s performances?

depending on it's content

If you could play editor, what scene or scenes would you have cut from Healing Trauma Through Self-Parenting?

wrong book for me.

Any additional comments?

How can I delete from library?

Great Information for all Types of Trauma

This is a great source of information for all people who are dealing with all types of trauma.

Couldn't continue to listen

I really thought I would like this book. However,I could not stand listening to the guys voice. The woman's voice was much more pleasant. And I thought that I would be listening to the woman but the guy is who narrates it. His voice to me is dull and drawn out. It effected what I was hearing and I had to stop listening. Unfortunately, narrators can ruin a book for me. That's what happened to this one. I apologize for sounding harsh. But I bought it didn't listen to it fully, then months later went back and I still couldn't listen to it.

Great Content - Annoying Narration

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

The content was valuable especially for my clients who struggle to heal from their traumatic childhoods. I have one client who swears it changed her life.

Who would you have cast as narrator instead of Rebecca Rogers and Winter Rogers ?

The male narrator's deep and uber slow voice was very annoying to me. I usually listen to my audiobook multiple times. I don't think I will be able to due to his voice. If he'd pick up the speed a bit it might be bearable.

What insight do you think you’ll apply from Healing Trauma Through Self-Parenting?

For adult clients who are trying to make sense of their chaotic, addiction impacted childhoods, it can really shed some light on what happened and how it affects them into adulthood.

Too evangelical for me

I cant say I learned something new from this book. I wish there was not such heavy emphasis on the need for prayer

Breakthrough moments

As a child I experienced profound complex trauma, generational trauma, adult child of alcoholism and two time fire survivor. I’ve loved my life in extreme trauma. Wearing my trauma like a badge of honor over functioning deep embedded co-dependent behaviors. A child born into a toxic dysfunctional family narratives past on…rooted in negativity. I’ve always felt stuck not realizing the trauma of my life. I repressed memories, I created tolerable narratives to explain or justify the things I experienced that were out my control. I’m highly intuitive and give deeply to others. I have internal rage issues and can be a star at work and perform low at home. My adult son went through serious addiction and life/death experiences with extreme loss. I created an addict, I dove into therapy with him and help “save” him when he “saved” me by bringing to light my childhood I refused to remember. I chose a career in HR helping resolve conflicts and taking on other peoples energies. I bonded with co-workers through traumatic experiences never realizing I enjoyed the pain. It was constant reminder of my unworthiness. My family is indigenous both Hawaiian and Alaskan Native. Horrific acts of genocide and my descendants were of boarding school era ripped from their homes and forced to learn a better way of life. Taught immense shame. My family was toxic and I was toxically loyal in a constant karpman triangle between victims, persecutors, and rescuer’s. I have to unlearn destructive habits so I can serve as a healthy role model to my children who are worthy of a happy and whole mother. In my broken pieces of myself I found love for myself. Strength in a higher power and the ability to let go. Addiction is no stranger. I’ve been taught it at a young age….what I loathed I became. Always trying so hard to better myself not realizing I needed to Face my past and understand it for what it was and the destructive patterns I learned I can unlearn too. Thank you this audio was life changing for me. I am on the road to healing and this help open those doors to see myself trapped by my past living a Groundhog Day nightmare of continued pain as if it is all I deserve. We are so much more worthy and I believe and place rest in a higher power. Thank you for this book it gave me deep insight. I can begin to recover

Terribly slow narrator and content is restrictive & directive

I really did not enjoy the male narrator who is terribly slow and speaks like he is conducting a seance or tries to hypnotise the listener.

Content appeared overall quite restrictive and very directive in its approach. It seemed very much like CBT type approach of just thinking something positive and getting on with it, which seemed at times to deny the unheard, unvoiced and unexpressed feelings necessary to be resolved not just ignored and cognitive behaviourally changed. The importance of mind-body memory and emotions seemed entirely ignored. Instead it seemed to focus heavily on religion and spiritual belief systems to provide healing, which has a lot of value in healing and trauma, however, it seemed again a bit short sighted and more like a short cut and quick fix approach for self-help.
I guess the purpose was more of a self help book however, I'd question some of the suggested approaches without any additional further support or as an adjunct to a more skilled psychotherapy approach.

I did not enjoy it and would not want to recommend it to my clients as I found it not practical and open minded enough to suit different people's needs and issues.

Decent content, but one of the 2 readers is awful.

As a self-help book goes, it contains some useful information about understanding where one comes from in order to adjust how one looks at the world today. The book is read by a woman and a man. The woman is excellent, but the man is so bizarre and awkward. Buy it for the content. I found it helpful, even though I skipped all the sections read by the man.

Too gendered and goddy

This audio is religious & gendered. So it would not ideal for a non-binary atheist.

The content was excellent.. but I wish I had bought the book!

Rebecca Rogers read the book and kept me engaged: as soon as Winter Rogers started to read I felt irritated, the drone of his voice actually activated my trauma! I wanted the information but had to quit after ch 4. I couldn’t listen to him any longer...
I may go back and bounce through the book listening to the woman’s voice...
Disappointed....

Very insightful

An excellent book. very educational. A powerful insight into the behaviours with many areas covered.