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GRANDMA?
- Attack of the Geriatric Zombies!
- Narrated by: Bob Walkenhorst
- Length: 6 hrs and 59 mins
- Categories: Children's Audiobooks, Literature & Fiction
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This collection features a menagerie of horror stories. Some are scary. Some are disturbing. Some are funny. Meet werewolves, vampires, zombies, psychopaths, aliens, cannibals, ghosts, and various things that go bump in the night. Previously published in dozens of anthologies and magazines, some of these tales are mild, but some are extreme. Let the reader beware...
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When a doctor at a suburban women's health clinic is being harassed, she hires Phin to make it stop. But the situation proves to be larger, and more dangerous, than even he can handle on his own. So he calls in some friends to help out; a P.I. named Harry McGlade and a female cop named Jack Daniels.
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 451
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5 out of 5 stars
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MY FAVORITE JACK.
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The Scorpion's Tail
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A mummified corpse, over half a century old, is found in the cellar of an abandoned building in a remote New Mexico ghost town. Corrie Swanson is assigned what seems to her a throwaway case: to ID the body and determine cause of death. She brings archaeologist Nora Kelly to excavate the body and lend her expertise to the investigation, and together they uncover something unexpected and shocking: the deceased apparently died in agony, in a fetal position, skin coming off in sheets, with a rictus of horror frozen on his face. Hidden on the corpse lies a 16th-century Spanish gold cross.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Swanson and Kelly really need Pendergast!
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 82
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Former Chicago cop Jack Daniels traded her badge for a toddler, and her lifelong pursuit of heinous serial killers for a boring house in the suburbs. Then Jack sees some pictures. Pictures of men who were supposed to be dead. And once again, against the fierce insistence of her husband, Jack reluctantly straps on her gun and goes hunting. Hunting for the worst of the worst. This leads to a trek across the Great Plains, searching for a modern slavery ring, on a collision course with three of the most horrible villains Jack has ever faced.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Always love Jack Daniels books
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Everybody Dies
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 10
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 9
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They call him "The Man with Seven Tears". He has a teardrop tattoo on his cheek for every man he's murdered for his twisted cause. He's the head of the most ruthless hate group in the USA, and he's about to commit the biggest act of domestic terrorism in history. There's only one person alive who knows him well enough to stop him. Someone strong enough. Determined enough. Smart enough. Someone willing to lose everything. His younger brother; a problem solver named Phineas Troutt.
By: J.A. Konrath
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Stirred
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 481
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 419
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Story4 out of 5 stars 419
Lt. Jacqueline "Jack" Daniels has seen humanity at its most depraved and terrifying. She's lost loved ones. Come close to death countless times. But she always manages to triumph over evil. Luther Kite is humanity at its most depraved and terrifying. He's committed unthinkable acts. Taken human life for the sheer pleasure of it. He is a monster among monsters, and no one has ever caught him. Each is the best at what they do. Peerless. Unmatched.
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4 out of 5 stars
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A good ending to the series
- By Joe on 08-26-12
By: J. A. Konrath, and others
Publisher's Summary
Randall just wanted to have a fun summer vacation with his family, visiting Grandma at her cabin on a lake in the Wisconsin Northwoods.
Then everything went horribly wrong.
Join 15-year-old Randall, and his younger brother Josh, as they fight for their lives on the eve of an elderly undead apocalypse.
GRANDMA? - The Complete Novel
She won't bake you cookies...
Forget everything you know about zombies. But that's probably impossible, because you know a lot. So maybe just put aside your preconceptions, because this living dead epic will make you remember why you fell in love with this genre in the first place. Part scary, part funny, this is a living dead armageddon like you've never seen before.
Talon Konrath recently graduated high school. He's been working non-stop on GRANDMA? for three years.
J.A. Konrath is his father. He's sold more than three million books worldwide.
Together they're going to take you on the ride of your life.
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Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Jim "The Impatient"
- 02-08-17
BUTT CANCER USUALLY GETS YOU IN THE END
THE PADDLE BOAT HAS THE TOP SPEED OF A TWO LEGGED TURTLE
If you have a bad case of ZOMBIEITIS, this just might be MOLELICIOUS to you. Hopefully you are using PLOYGRIP which is ZINC FREE and your not scared of ZOMBAMBIE. If your okay with cheesy, like to laugh and okay with POOPY YA humor, than get out your GLOW FART JAR and listen in the dark.
IS JESUS A ZOMBIE?
If your a fan of J.A.'s lighter side, Kimball without the sex and bad words, than give this a try. While it has some gory,(as in bodily functions), it is not Jack Kilborn. It is YA. Before you get upset about the question about Jesus, I was actually asked that question while teaching Youth Sunday School.
39 people found this helpful
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Overall2 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story1 out of 5 stars
- JA
- 10-08-19
Disappointed
Didn’t like this book. I have read/listened to a lot of Books by J.A Konrath and have loved them all but this one to me was boring and my mind kept wondering . I kept listening thinking it would get better but about 3/4 the way through I just couldn’t finish. I will say the narrator is amazing though probably one
Of the best I’ve heard!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- rosa dell
- 01-27-19
Hilarious
listened to it driving to work and during lunch and I caught myself laughing during this book
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Luelala
- 11-02-17
As always a Great funny horror
I have to be in the right mood to listen his books but they never dissapoint. You need to know what you are going to get though and that is a gory horror with no shortage of disgusting humor and graphic Gore. I do enjoy his books however and chose to listen to this one with teen daughter. She found it as amusing as I but be warned there can be quite offensive scenes and language. I listened on audible and thought they did a good job as always.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Andromeda
- 06-19-17
Is there a Konrath fandom yet?!
I am so glad I took a chance on this book! I'm fairly certain I would read anything J.A. Konrath wrote. If he releases a book on the mating habits of sea slugs indigenous to the Arctic regions, I'd read it. And damn if I wouldn't enjoy it. But...the kid of an author? Really? That never ends well. Yes, Mary Higgins Clark and Stephen King, I'm talking about your offspring and how little I like their writing.
I debated. And debated. And then decided to give it a listen. I am so glad I did. Everything from Einstein's experiments to Josh's brilliance to the negative effect of dentures on zombie dining was entertaining. As a bonus, there is a brief interview at the end of the Audible version...I listened to every word of it, too.
Apparently I need to start a Konrath fandom
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- ericmadden
- 05-09-17
Next book
It is a good book and it needs a next book and it was a fun time
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Overall2 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story2 out of 5 stars
- Ryan
- 02-11-17
Not his best work
I'm a huge J.A. Konrath fan but this was hard to finish. This is the only book by Konrath that I did not give 5 stars to.
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Overall1 out of 5 stars
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Performance1 out of 5 stars
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Story1 out of 5 stars
- L. Banting
- 11-28-18
Really bad
Incoherent rambling throughout, bad story and even worse characters. Give this one a miss. If I were jack kilborn/ konrath I'd take this one out of circulation... its bad
Tried to give zero stars, wouldn't let me, so ignore the one star ratings
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Overall1 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story1 out of 5 stars
- Benny butthead
- 08-06-17
sorry it was terrible.
Narration was excellent.
Story was like it was written by a 5 year old. The humor was cringeworthy. Plot ridiculous.
I apologize if this is written for the 5 to 10 year old genre. If so you should make it clear its not for adults.