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GRANDMA?
- Attack of the Geriatric Zombies!
- Narrated by: Bob Walkenhorst
- Length: 6 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged Audiobook
- Release date: 02-06-17
- Language: English
- Publisher: Talon Konrath
- Whispersync for Voice-ready
Regular price: $19.95
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IS A PIECE OF A@@, WORTH PRISON?, HELL YA!
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Timecaster
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Chicago, 2064: Talon Avalon is a timecaster-one of a select few peace officers who can operate a TEV, the Tachyon Emission Visualizer, which records events (most specifically, crimes) that have already happened. With crime at an all-time low, Talon has little to do except give lectures to school kids and obsess about his wife's profession as a licensed sex partner... until one of her clients asks Talon to investigate a possible murder.
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From electrifying horror author Nick Cutter comes a haunting new novel, reminiscent of Cormac McCarthy's Blood Meridian and Stephen King's It, in which a trio of mismatched mercenaries is hired by a young woman for a deceptively simple task: check in on her nephew, who may have been taken against his will to a remote New Mexico backwoods settlement called Little Heaven. Shortly after they arrive, things begin to turn ominous.
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Visceral Effectiveness
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Mortimer Moorecook, retired Wall Street raider, avid collector, is losing his fight against cancer. With weeks to live, a package arrives at the door of his hillside mansion—an artifact he paid millions for…a hominoid skull with elongated teeth, discovered in a farmer's field in the Romanian countryside. With Shanna, his beautiful research assistant looking on, he sinks the skull's razor sharp fangs into his neck, and immediately goes into convulsions.
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3 out of 5 stars
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THIS HAD A GUN SHOW BEAT TO SHIT
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 05-24-17
Publisher's Summary
Randall just wanted to have a fun summer vacation with his family, visiting Grandma at her cabin on a lake in the Wisconsin Northwoods.
Then everything went horribly wrong.
Join 15-year-old Randall, and his younger brother Josh, as they fight for their lives on the eve of an elderly undead apocalypse.
GRANDMA? - The Complete Novel
She won't bake you cookies...
Forget everything you know about zombies. But that's probably impossible, because you know a lot. So maybe just put aside your preconceptions, because this living dead epic will make you remember why you fell in love with this genre in the first place. Part scary, part funny, this is a living dead armageddon like you've never seen before.
Talon Konrath recently graduated high school. He's been working non-stop on GRANDMA? for three years.
J.A. Konrath is his father. He's sold more than three million books worldwide.
Together they're going to take you on the ride of your life.
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Overall
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4 out of 5 stars
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4.5 out of 5 stars
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5 Stars20
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4 Stars6
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4.5 out of 5 stars
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5 Stars18
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Jim "The Impatient"
- 02-08-17
BUTT CANCER USUALLY GETS YOU IN THE END
THE PADDLE BOAT HAS THE TOP SPEED OF A TWO LEGGED TURTLE
If you have a bad case of ZOMBIEITIS, this just might be MOLELICIOUS to you. Hopefully you are using PLOYGRIP which is ZINC FREE and your not scared of ZOMBAMBIE. If your okay with cheesy, like to laugh and okay with POOPY YA humor, than get out your GLOW FART JAR and listen in the dark.
IS JESUS A ZOMBIE?
If your a fan of J.A.'s lighter side, Kimball without the sex and bad words, than give this a try. While it has some gory,(as in bodily functions), it is not Jack Kilborn. It is YA. Before you get upset about the question about Jesus, I was actually asked that question while teaching Youth Sunday School.
39 of 47 people found this review helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Luelala
- 11-02-17
As always a Great funny horror
I have to be in the right mood to listen his books but they never dissapoint. You need to know what you are going to get though and that is a gory horror with no shortage of disgusting humor and graphic Gore. I do enjoy his books however and chose to listen to this one with teen daughter. She found it as amusing as I but be warned there can be quite offensive scenes and language. I listened on audible and thought they did a good job as always.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Andromeda
- US
- 06-19-17
Is there a Konrath fandom yet?!
I am so glad I took a chance on this book! I'm fairly certain I would read anything J.A. Konrath wrote. If he releases a book on the mating habits of sea slugs indigenous to the Arctic regions, I'd read it. And damn if I wouldn't enjoy it. But...the kid of an author? Really? That never ends well. Yes, Mary Higgins Clark and Stephen King, I'm talking about your offspring and how little I like their writing.
I debated. And debated. And then decided to give it a listen. I am so glad I did. Everything from Einstein's experiments to Josh's brilliance to the negative effect of dentures on zombie dining was entertaining. As a bonus, there is a brief interview at the end of the Audible version...I listened to every word of it, too.
Apparently I need to start a Konrath fandom
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- ericmadden
- 05-09-17
Next book
It is a good book and it needs a next book and it was a fun time
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Overall2 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story2 out of 5 stars
- Ryan
- 02-11-17
Not his best work
I'm a huge J.A. Konrath fan but this was hard to finish. This is the only book by Konrath that I did not give 5 stars to.
0 of 1 people found this review helpful
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Overall1 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story1 out of 5 stars
- Benny butthead
- 08-06-17
sorry it was terrible.
Narration was excellent.
Story was like it was written by a 5 year old. The humor was cringeworthy. Plot ridiculous.
I apologize if this is written for the 5 to 10 year old genre. If so you should make it clear its not for adults.