There stood atop a desolated hilltop, a funeral parlor by the name of Sunny Hills Funeral Parlor, with some terrifying tales from the dead. Jeramiah Hill, the owner of Sunny Hills Funeral Parlor, would invite some of his closest friends in town to come and hear how people that were brought to his funeral parlor died. Sunny Hills Funeral Parlor was built in 1816 by the Hills family. Soon after construction was complete on the funeral parlor bad things started happening. One of the Hill's brothers got into a fight with the other brother over a girl, and in a jealous rage Jim Hill fell out of the two story window in the funeral parlor to his death. Since there were no witnesses, Jim's death was declared an accident. Just weeks after Jim's death, his brother Daryl was found dead in one of the coffins in the funeral parlor. Daryl's father Jeramiah told the lawmen that from the look on his son's face he was frightened to death. Just as if he saw something so terrible he thought hiding in the coffin would keep him safe.
After Jeramiah's bizarre death in 1825, the funeral parlor was sold to the Jasperson family which prospered until 1860. One by one the Jasperson's either died of unexplained circumstances or by natural causes.
What could have made this a 4 or 5-star listening experience for you?
Really, what is up with this guy's voice? Did he have to go for the over the top, comically scary voice? Honestly, I kept giggling, so I have no idea if this was a scary story. Horror fiction should be told in a sane and honest voice, to pull you in, to lead you to think "gee, that character sounds like me. They are doing what I would do in this situation." Then when it all goes wrong, you get scared. Because you would also be doomed. The only use I can see for this story, is for it to be played as background noise at your next Halloween party. "MAHHhha!," she laughed in a super creepy voice.
What could Drac Von Stoller have done to make this a more enjoyable book for you?
Change every thing.
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