Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

By: Seth Grahame-Smith

Narrated by: Scott Holst

Length: 11 hrs and 2 mins

Publisher's summary

Indiana, 1818. Moonlight falls through the dense woods that surround a one-room cabin, where a nine-year-old Abraham Lincoln kneels at his suffering mother's bedside. She's been stricken with something the old-timers call "Milk Sickness."

"My baby boy..." she whispers before dying.

Only later will the grieving Abe learn that his mother's fatal affliction was actually the work of a vampire.

When the truth becomes known to young Lincoln, he writes in his journal, "henceforth my life shall be one of rigorous study and devotion. I shall become a master of mind and body. And this mastery shall have but one purpose..." Gifted with his legendary height, strength, and skill with an ax, Abe sets out on a path of vengeance that will lead him all the way to the White House.

While Abraham Lincoln is widely lauded for saving a Union and freeing millions of slaves, his valiant fight against the forces of the undead has remained in the shadows for hundreds of years. That is, until Seth Grahame-Smith stumbled upon The Secret Journal of Abraham Lincoln, and became the first living person to lay eyes on it in more than 140 years.

Using the journal as his guide and writing in the grand biographical style of Doris Kearns Goodwin and David McCullough, Seth has reconstructed the true life story of our greatest president for the first time-all while revealing the hidden history behind the Civil War and uncovering the role vampires played in the birth, growth, and near-death of our nation.

©2010 Seth Grahame-Smith (P)2010 Hachette Audio

Boring

What disappointed you about Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter?

I gave it a couple of hours, and the story never picked up. I finally decided it wasn't worth my listening time...

What was most disappointing about Seth Grahame-Smith’s story?

I was particularly disappointed by the lack of action. Even in the scenes where someone died, it felt as though the author had never written about a fight before and had no idea how to.

If you could play editor, what scene or scenes would you have cut from Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter?

The entire scene where Abraham was listening to the guy reading Shakespeare - I've read many scenes where captors convince the captured that they are on the same side, and I don't think I've ever come across one that made me yawn before now.

Not a fan

What could have made this a 4 or 5-star listening experience for you?

Not sure. It just wasn't my favorite kind of book to read, but thought I'd try it since it was so popular.

What do you think your next listen will be?

Realistic Fiction

Who would you have cast as narrator instead of Scott Holst?

He was good. No changes suggested there.

What character would you cut from Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter?

None

Any additional comments?

No

Hopefully, the movie is better.

What would have made Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter better?

A better narrator. Performance was terrible (accents bad, sounded young and inexperienced). Long breaks with no speaking, or bad music.

How would you have changed the story to make it more enjoyable?

Story was ok. Disjointed, reaching. Incorporating the vampire stuff was not seamlessly done -- like trying to shoehorn a big left foot into a small right shoe.

Boring and poorly written

Would you try another book from Seth Grahame-Smith and/or Scott Holst?

No

What was most disappointing about Seth Grahame-Smith’s story?

There was nothing to it, just random jumps from one exploit to the next. Very little character development. It felt very rushed.

Would you be willing to try another one of Scott Holst’s performances?

Maybe

If you could play editor, what scene or scenes would you have cut from Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter?

The trouble with this book could not be solved by cutting out a few parts. What you would need to do is give the idea to someone who knows how to write, like Patrick Rothfuss.

Any additional comments?

Wait for the movie to come out as it will probably be better then the book. I didnt think I would ever say those words but I feel like they will prove true.

Good concept, but dragged on and on

Would you try another book from Seth Grahame-Smith and/or Scott Holst?

Not by Seth Grahame-Smith.

Has Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter turned you off from other books in this genre?

No - I generally enjoy vampire books.

What didn’t you like about Scott Holst’s performance?

Performance was fine.

What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?

disappointment. Just dragged on and on.

Any additional comments?

None

When is the movie better than the book?

Dull … dull witted … and utterly useless…
When is the movie better than the book …?
The story is ghastly…excuse the pun… author has the u así atino para Nat ….avoid this ludicrous waste of time ..

Absolute rubbish!

What would have made Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter better?

I didn't expect a literary classic; however, I did expect better executed writing.

Would you ever listen to anything by Seth Grahame-Smith again?

Never.

Who would you have cast as narrator instead of Scott Holst?

Just about anyone. I found his voice annoying and his pacing dire.

JUST REALLY BORING

What a new take on history and I must say that this was boring I stopped listening half way through this book. I went to see the movie with friends and that's what made me want to read the book. I'm sorry but I pass on this one the movie was better to me that the book. Its just down right boring.

Much Ado about Nothing ( that, deserves a footnote)

On the good side I probably just read a biography on Abraham Lincoln. Otherwise there are really no redeeming qualities. Too many brutal child killings, real or dreamed. I bought this because of the great reviews this book got, but not much happened and all I came away with were disturbing images. Not sure how the family of Mr. Lincoln let this get published. A great man deserved a great book. This was not it. The performance was not bad, just not the voice for a vampire novel.

Narrator is very distracting.

I'm sad to say that my review is in no way a reflection of the author's work, but rather the production of the audiobook.

I've listened to a number of audiobooks over the years, and I can't say that I've ever encountered one as difficult to listen to as "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter". I can only describe the cadence of Scott Holst's narration as "robotic." Each sentence was simply 'read', with an unnatural pause each time punctuation was encountered. It truly felt like I was listening to a court reporter read back witness testimony. It simply did not match the voice of the actual narrator within the novel.

As a consumer of audiobooks, I feel that I am paying not just for the convenience of having a book read to me, but also that I should benefit from quality production and vocal talents. I'm not one for the dramatics, but I found delivery so distracting that I was unable to finish the listening to the book.