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Beyond Birds and Bees
- Bringing Home a New Message to Our Kids About Sex, Love, and Equality
- Narrated by: Bonnie J. Rough
- Length: 9 hrs and 50 mins
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Publisher's Summary
A provocative inquiry into how we teach our children about bodies, sex, relationships, and equality - with revelatory, practical takeaways from the author's research and eye-opening observations from the world-famous Dutch approach
Award-winning author Bonnie J. Rough never expected to write a book about sex, but life handed her a revelation too vital to ignore. As an American parent grappling with concerns about raising children in a society steeped in stereotypes and sexual shame, she couldn't quite picture how to teach the facts of life with a fearless, easygoing, positive attitude. Then a job change relocated her family to Amsterdam, where she soon witnessed the relaxed and egalitarian sexual attitudes of the Dutch. There, she discovered, children learn from babyhood that bodies are normal, the world's best sex ed begins in kindergarten, cooties are a foreign concept, puberty is no big surprise, and questions about sex are welcome at the dinner table.
In Beyond Birds and Bees, Rough reveals how although normalizing human sexuality may sound risky, doing so actually prevents unintended consequences, leads to better health and success for our children, and lays the foundation for a future of gender equality. Exploring how the Dutch example translates to American life, Rough highlights a growing wave of ambitious American parents, educators, and influencers poised to transform sex ed - and our society - for the better, and shows how families everywhere can give a modern lift to the birds and bees.
Down to earth and up to the minute with our profound new cultural conversations about gender, sex, power, autonomy, diversity, and consent, Rough's careful research and engaging storytelling illuminate a forward path for a groundbreaking generation of Americans who want clear examples and actionable steps for how to support children's sexual development - and overall well-being - from birth onward at home, in schools, and across our evolving culture.
Critic Reviews
"What a gift! Bonnie J. Rough offers a much-needed breath of fresh air in her wonderful new approach to discussing sex, love, and equality with our kids. Her smart, vigorously well-researched, and funny book is a great guide for families to read and discuss as their kids grow up." (Caroline Grant, codirector, Sustainable Arts Foundation)
"The conversation Rough starts about sexuality and gender equality in Beyond Birds & Bees is one we all need to be having - with our partners, our kids, our kids' teachers, our legislators - well: everybody. Read it. Start talking." (Jill Christman, author of Darkroom: A Family Exposure and Borrowed Babies: Apprenticing for Motherhood)
"With humor, humility, and gentleness, Bonnie J. Rough takes us on her journey of discovery and leaves us somewhere surprising and wonderful. Along the way, her practical tips add up to a transformative rethinking of what it means to teach our children about sex. This is a book that can help everybody: parents who know what they're doing, parents who worry they don't have a clue, and the rest of us, too, who never got the loving, tender teaching we deserved." (Lisa Wade, best-selling author of American Hookup: The New Culture of Sex on Campus)
What listeners say about Beyond Birds and Bees
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- David G.
- 11-16-21
Every parent should read this book!
It made me really think about how I am educating my children and gave me new perspective. It provided me with tools to educate with honesty, purpose, and love. Cannot recommend it enough!!!
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- Scotney M. Young
- 04-07-20
Revolutionary
Perfectly balanced helpful cultural comparisons, hard data, and actual tools to use. great for parents
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- Nathan Chaney
- 01-21-20
inspirational, educational
For a parent or the curious, or curious parents, this book gives a new perspective and inspires confidence and openness toward human biology and reproduction
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- Jennifer Nave-Selves
- 01-12-20
Great info!
Loved this listen. Reader is easy to listen too. information is wonderful and thought provoking!
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- James Eccles
- 11-24-19
Read, Recommend, Repeat
This isn't just for parents or future parents. Will recommend and read again! So educational!
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- AmandaG131
- 10-08-19
Anyone and everyone with young kids should read!
I only wish I had found this book sooner! I will revisit it again and again as my children grow. I was constantly bookmarking areas to go back to or that referenced children's books I wanted to purchase for my kids. She gave practical advice that I could use day to day to help ensure my children have amazing sexual education going forward. This will not only help them into adulthood but keeps them safe as children. Again, I can't recommend this book enough!
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- Cleo
- 08-19-19
The world would be a better place if everyone read this book and considered its thoughtful and informative words.
Bonnie is incredible. This book is thoroughly researched, but more than that, it was so clearly written with heart.
I had the pleasure of learning about this book at a talk at my school, which Bonnie led to help inform parents of the importance of sex education (and more - including gender equality and roles, etc). As a passionate educator myself, I delved into this book immediately and with full steam, and savored it over many months to try to absorb as much of the details as possible. It gave me MUCH food for thought... Plus, as a future parent, I feel extraordinarily fortunate that I found this information when I did.
I can’t say enough great things about Beyond Birds and Bees. The book itself is a phenomenal resource, and Bonnie’s audio recording brings it to life! Read it!!
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- Hi
- 04-04-19
Best book I've listened to in a long time.
Makes sense. It's not about when but how kids become sexually active. Education without shame, guilt is the best way.
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- "schnellie"
- 09-11-18
A Fresh Perspective on Birds and Bees
What a treat to listen to! Bonnie's honesty and transparency about her experience and research on the American and Dutch perspectives to human sexuality was so refreshing. It sparked new ideas about my own perspective on what it means to prepare children for a healthy view of sexuality as she weighed the differences against her own values and experiences. I also appreciated her balance reflecting on boys' challenges, being a parent of boys, even though her primary experience has been with her two girls.
Already recommending to my friends who are at the beginning of their parenting journey and those with adolescents.
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- Amanda
- 09-03-18
Outstanding, insightful, inspiring, well-read
The author has a great reading voice. I love it when authors read their own work. The book itself is witty, fun to read, and totally inspiring. Every parent should read this book. The Dutch Approach will motivate you to question how you might make small but significant improvements in your approach to teaching healthy, holistic, sexuality to your kids.
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Terrible Read
- By Davon Smith on 07-02-21
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Becoming Nicole
- The Transformation of an American Family
- By: Amy Ellis Nutt
- Narrated by: Amy Ellis Nutt
- Length: 8 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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When Wayne and Kelly Maines adopted identical twin boys, they thought their lives were complete. But it wasn't long before they noticed a marked difference between Jonas and his brother, Wyatt. Jonas preferred sports and trucks and many of the things little boys were "supposed" to like; but Wyatt liked princess dolls and dress-up and playing Little Mermaid. By the time the twins were toddlers, confusion over Wyatt's insistence that he was female began to tear the family apart.
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More narratives like this, please.
- By book worm on 10-22-15
By: Amy Ellis Nutt
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Voice Lessons for Parents
- By: Wendy Mogel PhD
- Narrated by: Wendy Mogel PhD
- Length: 11 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Renowned speaker, parenting expert, and New York Times best-selling author of The Blessing of a Skinned Knee, Dr. Wendy Mogel offers an essential guide to the new art of talking to children and shows how a change in voice can transform conversations and ease the relationship between parents and children.
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Loving it.
- By Michael Kolbas on 01-16-19
By: Wendy Mogel PhD
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A Chicken's Guide to Talking Turkey with Your Kids About Sex
- By: Kathy Flores Bell, Dr. Kevin Leman
- Narrated by: Dr. Kevin Leman, Kathy Flores Bell
- Length: 3 hrs and 17 mins
- Abridged
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Those conversations that are so vital for your children's health and happiness don't have to be difficult if you're prepared. A Chicken's Guide to Talking Turkey with Your Kids about Sex shows you how to deal with what goes on above the neck as well as below the waist. Here's how to help your child face the struggles, questions, wonders, and rewards of his or her developing sexuality.
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Learned so much - Put it right to good use
- By Christina on 09-06-07
By: Kathy Flores Bell, and others
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Raising My Rainbow
- Adventures in Raising a Fabulous, Gender Creative Son
- By: Lori Duron
- Narrated by: Lori Duron
- Length: 6 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Raising My Rainbow is Lori Duron’s frank, heartfelt, and brutally funny account of her and her family's adventures of distress and happiness raising a gender-creative son. Whereas her older son, Chase, is a Lego-loving, sports-playing boy's boy, her younger son, C.J., would much rather twirl around in a pink sparkly tutu, with a Disney Princess in each hand while singing Lady Gaga's "Paparazzi".
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Loving CJ
- By Pamela Dale Foster on 06-19-14
By: Lori Duron
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Don't Call Me Princess
- Essays on Girls, Women, Sex, and Life
- By: Peggy Orenstein
- Narrated by: Peggy Orenstein
- Length: 10 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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In Don't Call Me Princess, Orenstein's most resonant and important essays are available for the first time in collected form, updated with both an original introduction and personal reflections on each piece. Her takes on reproductive justice, the infertility industry, tensions between working and stay-at-home moms, pink ribbon fear-mongering and the complications of girl culture are not merely timeless - they have, like Margaret Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale, become more urgent in our contemporary political climate.
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Compulsory read
- By Marita R. on 03-28-19
By: Peggy Orenstein
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Why Gender Matters
- What Parents and Teachers Need to Know About the Emerging Science of Sex Differences
- By: Leonard Sax MD PhD
- Narrated by: Keith Sellon-Wright
- Length: 10 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Back in 2005, the first edition of Why Gender Matters broke ground in illuminating the differences between boys and girls—how they perceive the world differently, how they learn differently, how they process emotions and take risks differently. Dr. Sax argued that in failing to recognize these hardwired differences between boys and girls, we ended up reinforcing damaging stereotypes, medicalizing misbehavior, and failing to help kids to reach their full potential.
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Terrible Read
- By Davon Smith on 07-02-21
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Nonbinary
- Memoirs of Gender and Identity
- By: Micah Rajunov - editor, Scott Duane - editor
- Narrated by: Sarah Beth Pfeifer
- Length: 12 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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What happens when your gender doesn't fit neatly into the categories of male or female? Even mundane interactions like filling out a form or using a public bathroom can be a struggle when these designations prove inadequate. In this groundbreaking book, 30 authors highlight how our experiences are shaped by a deeply entrenched gender binary.
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It changed my life!!!
- By Anonymous User on 08-19-22
By: Micah Rajunov - editor, and others
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Planet Middle School
- Helping Your Child Through the Peer Pressure, Awkward Moments & Emotional Drama
- By: Dr. Kevin Leman
- Narrated by: Tom Parks
- Length: 8 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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It happens to every parent. One day, you have a sweet son or daughter who loves to snuggle on the couch and who puts a smile on your face just by walking into the room. The next day, it's as if someone left the door open and let in an alien with a smart mouth and an attitude that, frankly, you could do without. Entering middle school is like stepping onto a different planet - for parent and child alike. It's a planet where peer pressure, social media, and hormones can wreak havoc in your child's life.
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Decent Info, So-So on Advice
- By Person on 11-08-16
By: Dr. Kevin Leman
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All Joy and No Fun
- The Paradox of Modern Parenthood
- By: Jennifer Senior
- Narrated by: Jennifer Senior
- Length: 8 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Thousands of books have examined the effects of parents on their children. But almost none have thought to ask: What are the effects of children on their parents? In All Joy and No Fun, award-winning journalist Jennifer Senior tries to tackle this question, isolating and analyzing the many ways in which children reshape their parents' lives, whether it's their marriages, their jobs, their habits, their hobbies, their friendships, or their internal senses of self. She argues that changes in the last half century have radically altered the roles of today's mothers and fathers, making their mandates at once more complex and far less clear.
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The Joy of Parenting
- By Cynthia on 02-14-14
By: Jennifer Senior
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Girls & Sex
- Navigating the Complicated New Landscape
- By: Peggy Orenstein
- Narrated by: Peggy Orenstein
- Length: 7 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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A generation gap has emerged between parents and their girls. Even in this age of helicopter parenting, the mothers and fathers of tomorrow's women have little idea what their daughters are up to sexually or how they feel about it. Drawing on in-depth interviews with over 70 young women and a wide range of psychologists, academics, and experts, renowned journalist Peggy Orenstein goes where most others fear to tread, pulling back the curtain on the hidden truths, hard lessons, and important possibilities of girls' sex lives in the modern world.
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Must read for anyone who has a daughter
- By Erin on 04-01-16
By: Peggy Orenstein
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Bringing Up Girls
- Practical Advice and Encouragement for Those Shaping the Next Generation of Women
- By: James C. Dobson
- Narrated by: James C. Dobson
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Based on extensive research, and handled with Dr. Dobson's trademark down-to-earth approach, Bringing Up Girls will equip parents like you to face the challenges of raising your daughters to become healthy, happy, and successful women who overcome challenges specific to girls and women today and who ultimately excel in life.
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Solid concepts, poor presentation
- By honuhunter on 12-06-18
By: James C. Dobson
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The Happiest Kids in the World
- How Dutch Parents Help Their Kids (and Themselves) by Doing Less
- By: Rina Mae Acosta, Michele Hutchison
- Narrated by: Henrietta Meire, Karen White
- Length: 7 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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The secret to raising the happiest kids in the world? Whatever it is, it's somewhere in the Netherlands. Kids in the US face lots of pressure to excel - often at the expense of happiness. But does it have to be this way? Not in the Netherlands! In The Happiest Kids in the World, expats Rina Mae Acosta and Michele Hutchison - both married to Dutchmen and bringing up their kids in the Netherlands - examine the unique environment that enables the Dutch to turn out such well-adjusted, independent children.
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Great Insight
- By Julia on 09-19-20
By: Rina Mae Acosta, and others