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All Rise
- Audio Perambulation
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman
- Length: 1 hr and 45 mins
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All Rise
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Publisher's summary
Spend a rollicking evening with Nick Offerman's All Rise, an evening of deliberative talking, mirth, and song that compels listeners to chuckle while also causing them to contemplate a better side of humanity than the one to which they've grown accustomed.
In Nick Offerman's view, we as a country can be doing a better job when it comes to decency. While most of the country has spent the last few years fighting about everything from politics to the existence of science, there are some things we can all agree about, like that we only really need one flavor of Oreo cookies. And that despite all the challenges we're currently facing, America can get it together if we can, simply, rise above it all, and admit that a lot what we're fighting about is actually pretty stupid, especially when told in Nick's signature comedic voice - songs included.
An Audiobook Original.
Cover illustration by Matt Davies
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 247
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 241
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 241
Two years after successfully melting down the top secret sperm bank under the Space Needle, the CLITO collective (Community of Lesbians Inclusive To Others) is thriving on their newly acquired private island, Lesbos 2. All is well in their queer utopia. Or is it? Investigative reporter Sarah Keebler (Sarah Steele) is piecing together the crew's previous heist for her bombshell true-crime podcast–and getting dangerously close to the truth.
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5 out of 5 stars
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AS FUN AS SEASON1
- By Robert on 03-07-24
By: Adam Goldman
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Napoleon's Hemorrhoids…And Other Small Events That Changed History
- By: Phil Mason
- Narrated by: LJ Ganser
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,094
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 970
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 966
Hilarious, fascinating, and a roller coaster of dizzying, historical what-ifs, Napoleon's Hemorrhoids is a potpourri for serious historians and casual history buffs. In one of Phil Mason's many revelations, you'll learn that Communist jets were two minutes away from opening fire on American planes during the Cuban missile crisis, when they had to turn back as they were running out of fuel. You'll discover that before the Battle of Waterloo, Napoleon's painful hemorrhoids prevented him from mounting his horse to survey the battlefield.
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3 out of 5 stars
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They just throw the facts too fast
- By Concerned_llama on 12-11-20
By: Phil Mason
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Heads Will Roll
- By: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne
- Narrated by: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne, Tim Gunn, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 17,202
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 15,674
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 15,608
Heads Will Roll is an Audible Original from Saturday Night Live star Kate McKinnon and her cocreator/costar (and real-life sister) Emily Lynne. Produced by Broadway Video, this is not an audiobook - it’s a 10-episode, star-studded audio comedy that features performances from Meryl Streep, Tim Gunn, Peter Dinklage, Queer Eye’s Fab Five, and so many more. Please note: This content is not for kids.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
More like this please
- By Anon893 on 05-03-19
By: Kate McKinnon, and others
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French & Saunders Titting About (Series 5)
- By: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders
- Narrated by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders
- Length: 3 hrs and 1 min
- Original Recording
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 9
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 9
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 9
Once again, the legendary comedy duo unearth six vitally important subjects... and then tit about about them. From surviving on a desert island to being eaten by a cardboard crocodile, Dawn and Jennifer will entertain, inform and thoroughly tit about for your pleasure. (Batteries not included.)
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5 out of 5 stars
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Please do more
- By Mr P Ellerington on 04-23-24
By: Dawn French, and others
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- By: Nick Offerman
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman
- Length: 11 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 5,670
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 5,206
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 5,184
The star of Parks and Recreation and author of the New York Times best seller Paddle Your Own Canoe returns with a second book that humorously highlights 21 figures from our nation’s history, from her inception to present day - Nick’s personal pantheon of “great Americans". After the great success of his autobiography, Paddle Your Own Canoe, Offerman now focuses on the lives of those who inspired him. From George Washington to Willie Nelson, he describes 21 heroic figures and why they inspire in him such great meaning.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Swagger and mirth
- By Tamara Shope on 09-14-15
By: Nick Offerman
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Good Clean Fun
- Misadventures in Sawdust at Offerman Woodshop
- By: Nick Offerman
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman
- Length: 6 hrs and 7 mins
- Abridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,606
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,444
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,434
Nick shares his experience of working at the woodshop with his ragtag crew of champions, tells you all about his passion for the discipline of woodworking, and teaches you how to make two of the woodshop’s most popular projects along the way: a Pop Top bottle opener and a three-legged stool. This audiobook will take you behind the scenes of the woodshop, both inspiring and teaching you to make your own projects while besotting you with the infectious spirit behind the shop and its complement of dusty wood-elves.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
A woodworking audiobook *yawn*
- By Chad E. Lindsey on 04-05-18
By: Nick Offerman
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Where the Deer and the Antelope Play
- The Pastoral Observations of One Ignorant American Who Loves to Walk Outside
- By: Nick Offerman
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman
- Length: 11 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,245
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,014
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,002
A humorous and rousing set of literal and figurative sojourns as well as a mission statement about comprehending, protecting, and truly experiencing the outdoors, fueled by three journeys undertaken by actor, humorist, and New York Times best-selling author Nick Offerman
-
1 out of 5 stars
-
By far his worst work to date.
- By Aron on 10-21-21
By: Nick Offerman
-
The Greatest Love Story Ever Told
- An Oral History
- By: Megan Mullally, Nick Offerman
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman, Megan Mullally
- Length: 6 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 4,340
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,899
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 3,873
At last, the full story behind Megan Mullally and Nick Offerman's epic romance, including stories, portraits, and the occasional puzzle. How did they do it? They came from completely different families, endured a significant age difference, and were separated by the gulf of several social strata. Megan loved books and art history; Nick loved hammers. But much more than these seemingly unsurpassable obstacles were the values they held in common: respect, decency, the ability to mention genitalia in almost any context, and an abiding obsession with the songs of Tom Waits.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Not sure if I like or not.
- By KJ1022 on 10-03-18
By: Megan Mullally, and others
-
Paddle Your Own Canoe
- One Man's Fundamentals for Delicious Living
- By: Nick Offerman
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman
- Length: 10 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 13,081
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 11,859
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 11,780
Growing a perfect moustache, grilling red meat, wooing a woman - who better to deliver this tutelage than the always charming, always manly Nick Offerman, best known as Parks and Recreation's Ron Swanson? Combining his trademark comic voice and very real expertise in woodworking - he runs his own woodshop - Paddle Your Own Canoe features tales from Offerman's childhood in small-town Minooka, Illinois, to his theater days in Chicago, beginnings as a carpenter/actor and the hilarious and magnificent seduction of his now-wife Megan Mullally.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
On the need to acknowledge the role luck plays
- By OpenMindedNotCredulous on 11-17-13
By: Nick Offerman
-
Bedtime Stories for Cynics
- By: Dave Hill, Jessica Conrad, Sean Keane, and others
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman, Phoebe Robinson, David Spade, and others
- Length: 1 hr and 42 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,784
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,442
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 2,430
Are the kids asleep? Yes? Good. This one isn’t for them. Now, if your weary, grown-up mind has been searching for a snarkier alternative to your favorite childhood tales, this Audible Original, hosted by Nick Offerman (Parks & Recreation), will scratch that itch - and then some. Enjoy a hilarious collection of short stories, featuring performances from the likes of Tommy Chong (Cheech & Chong), Tony Hale (Veep), Patton Oswalt (The Goldbergs), and David Spade (Saturday Night Live).
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
It's Just...Alright.
- By Chelsea on 06-10-19
By: Dave Hill, and others
-
Gumption
- Relighting the Torch of Freedom with America's Gutsiest Troublemakers
- By: Nick Offerman
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman
- Length: 11 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 5,670
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 5,206
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 5,184
The star of Parks and Recreation and author of the New York Times best seller Paddle Your Own Canoe returns with a second book that humorously highlights 21 figures from our nation’s history, from her inception to present day - Nick’s personal pantheon of “great Americans". After the great success of his autobiography, Paddle Your Own Canoe, Offerman now focuses on the lives of those who inspired him. From George Washington to Willie Nelson, he describes 21 heroic figures and why they inspire in him such great meaning.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Swagger and mirth
- By Tamara Shope on 09-14-15
By: Nick Offerman
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Good Clean Fun
- Misadventures in Sawdust at Offerman Woodshop
- By: Nick Offerman
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman
- Length: 6 hrs and 7 mins
- Abridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,606
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,444
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,434
Nick shares his experience of working at the woodshop with his ragtag crew of champions, tells you all about his passion for the discipline of woodworking, and teaches you how to make two of the woodshop’s most popular projects along the way: a Pop Top bottle opener and a three-legged stool. This audiobook will take you behind the scenes of the woodshop, both inspiring and teaching you to make your own projects while besotting you with the infectious spirit behind the shop and its complement of dusty wood-elves.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
A woodworking audiobook *yawn*
- By Chad E. Lindsey on 04-05-18
By: Nick Offerman
-
Where the Deer and the Antelope Play
- The Pastoral Observations of One Ignorant American Who Loves to Walk Outside
- By: Nick Offerman
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman
- Length: 11 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,245
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,014
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,002
A humorous and rousing set of literal and figurative sojourns as well as a mission statement about comprehending, protecting, and truly experiencing the outdoors, fueled by three journeys undertaken by actor, humorist, and New York Times best-selling author Nick Offerman
-
1 out of 5 stars
-
By far his worst work to date.
- By Aron on 10-21-21
By: Nick Offerman
-
The Greatest Love Story Ever Told
- An Oral History
- By: Megan Mullally, Nick Offerman
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman, Megan Mullally
- Length: 6 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 4,340
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,899
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 3,873
At last, the full story behind Megan Mullally and Nick Offerman's epic romance, including stories, portraits, and the occasional puzzle. How did they do it? They came from completely different families, endured a significant age difference, and were separated by the gulf of several social strata. Megan loved books and art history; Nick loved hammers. But much more than these seemingly unsurpassable obstacles were the values they held in common: respect, decency, the ability to mention genitalia in almost any context, and an abiding obsession with the songs of Tom Waits.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Not sure if I like or not.
- By KJ1022 on 10-03-18
By: Megan Mullally, and others
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Paddle Your Own Canoe
- One Man's Fundamentals for Delicious Living
- By: Nick Offerman
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman
- Length: 10 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 13,081
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 11,859
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 11,780
Growing a perfect moustache, grilling red meat, wooing a woman - who better to deliver this tutelage than the always charming, always manly Nick Offerman, best known as Parks and Recreation's Ron Swanson? Combining his trademark comic voice and very real expertise in woodworking - he runs his own woodshop - Paddle Your Own Canoe features tales from Offerman's childhood in small-town Minooka, Illinois, to his theater days in Chicago, beginnings as a carpenter/actor and the hilarious and magnificent seduction of his now-wife Megan Mullally.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
On the need to acknowledge the role luck plays
- By OpenMindedNotCredulous on 11-17-13
By: Nick Offerman
-
Bedtime Stories for Cynics
- By: Dave Hill, Jessica Conrad, Sean Keane, and others
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman, Phoebe Robinson, David Spade, and others
- Length: 1 hr and 42 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,784
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,442
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 2,430
Are the kids asleep? Yes? Good. This one isn’t for them. Now, if your weary, grown-up mind has been searching for a snarkier alternative to your favorite childhood tales, this Audible Original, hosted by Nick Offerman (Parks & Recreation), will scratch that itch - and then some. Enjoy a hilarious collection of short stories, featuring performances from the likes of Tommy Chong (Cheech & Chong), Tony Hale (Veep), Patton Oswalt (The Goldbergs), and David Spade (Saturday Night Live).
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
It's Just...Alright.
- By Chelsea on 06-10-19
By: Dave Hill, and others
-
Twain’s Feast
- By: Audible Originals
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman
- Length: 4 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 12,020
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 10,904
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 10,855
Mark Twain, beloved American writer, performer, and humorist, was a self-proclaimed glutton. With the help of a chef and some friends, Nick Offerman presents the story of Twain’s life through the lens of eight of Mark Twain’s favorite foods.
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1 out of 5 stars
-
Audible Recycling
- By Greg Hill on 11-17-18
-
The Need to Be Whole
- By: Wendell Berry
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman
- Length: 19 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 83
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 74
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 74
Wendell Berry has never been afraid to speak up for the dispossessed. The Need to Be Whole continues the work he began in The Hidden Wound (1970) and The Unsettling of America (1977), demanding a careful exploration of this hard, shared truth: The wealth of the mighty few governing this nation has been built on the unpaid labor of others.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Necessary Reading for These Troubled Times
- By Jane Vandenburgh on 11-05-22
By: Wendell Berry
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The Bassoon King
- My Life in Art, Faith, and Idiocy
- By: Rainn Wilson
- Narrated by: Rainn Wilson
- Length: 8 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 4,075
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 3,699
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 3,688
Rainn Wilson’s memoir about growing up geeky and finally finding his place in comedy, faith, and life. For nine seasons Rainn Wilson played Dwight Schrute, everyone's favorite work nemesis and beet farmer. Viewers of The Office fell in love with the character and grew to love the actor who played him even more. Rainn founded a website and media company, SoulPancake, that eventually became a best-selling book of the same name. He also started a hilarious Twitter feed (sample tweet: “I'm not on Facebook” is the new “I don't even own a TV”).
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4 out of 5 stars
-
Exquisite narration!
- By Johanna on 11-13-15
By: Rainn Wilson
-
Every Tool's a Hammer
- Lessons from a Lifetime of Making
- By: Adam Savage
- Narrated by: Adam Savage
- Length: 7 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 4,327
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 3,818
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 3,794
Adam Savage is a maker. From Chewbacca’s bandolier to a 1,000-shot Nerf gun, he has built thousands of spectacular projects as a special-effects artist and the cohost of MythBusters. Adam is also an educator, passionate about instilling the principles of making in the next generation of inventors and inspiring them to turn their curiosity into creation. In this practical and passionate guide, Adam weaves together vivid personal stories, original sketches and photographs from some of his most memorable projects, and interviews with many of his iconic and visionary friends.
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3 out of 5 stars
-
I love Adam Savage and I returned this book
- By Shane Brown on 06-18-19
By: Adam Savage
-
12 Books to Read Before You Die, Volume 1
- By: Robert Louis Stevenson, Mark Twain, Lewis Carroll, and others
- Narrated by: Bruce Pirie, David Clarke, Phil Chenevert, and others
- Length: 89 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 31
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 27
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 27
Sound interesting? The author thinks so too! Listen to 12 Books to Read Before You Die, Volume 1 and learn about these classic books: Father Goriot by Honoré de Balzac, The Hound of the Baskervilles by Arthur Conan Doyle, and more....
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5 out of 5 stars
-
All my favorites
- By Aymee on 06-27-23
By: Robert Louis Stevenson, and others
-
I'd Like to Play Alone, Please
- Essays
- By: Tom Segura
- Narrated by: Tom Segura
- Length: 6 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 10,012
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 8,926
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 8,881
Tom Segura is known for his twisted takes and irreverent comedic voice. But after a few years of crazy tours and churning out podcasts weekly, all while parenting two young children, he desperately needs a second to himself. It’s not that he hates his friends and family — he’s not a monster — he’s just beat, which is why his son’s (ruthless) first full sentence, “I’d like to play alone, please,” has since become his mantra.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Hot sauce is the best!
- By Michael Bowen on 06-15-22
By: Tom Segura
What listeners say about All Rise
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- dannyevans62
- 05-06-22
Simply hilarious.
Nick Offerman is a true gentleman who tells it like it is. I love his straight and to the point attitude. He's a great story teller. I would cover myself in melted cheese just to hear this man's voice narrate my life.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story5 out of 5 stars
- Jessica Elaine
- 01-04-21
Good listen
I am a nick offerman fan and so I enjoyed this. if you are not, you wont.
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2 people found this helpful
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story3 out of 5 stars
- Lucas Samples
- 12-03-20
I didn't know this was a stand up
I am not one for sing song stand up routines so I could not fully appreciate this work.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story5 out of 5 stars
- Elizabeth P. Kelly
- 10-30-20
Nick Offerman is the Best!
Loved it!
Great satire with nuggets of wisdom.
Just brilliant!
I need to add more words so here you go.
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6 people found this helpful
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Corbet
- 10-16-20
Thank you The Daily Show!
So funny, poiniant and fu**ing sad. Nick's variety of stereotypes is spot on. Please give it a listen.
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9 people found this helpful
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Alonso Cardenas
- 11-03-20
Stand up comedy music show
Funny, moving & very relevant to today’s socio political situation Stand up comedy music show. Highly recommended.
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6 people found this helpful
-
Overall2 out of 5 stars
-
Performance2 out of 5 stars
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Story1 out of 5 stars
- Thaddeus L.
- 01-05-23
Not that funny
Just an hour of a privileged white guy complaining about how bad white guys are.
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Overall1 out of 5 stars
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Performance1 out of 5 stars
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Story1 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Customer
- 11-19-20
From high atop Mt. Woke
Are you interested in hearing the Hollywood elite political narrative in the voice of Ron Swanson? Do you also believe white men are responsible for everything wrong with this country? Well take your kale-eatin finger, press purchase, and head to your favorite safe space. You're going to love it!
Nick is a rich white man who hates rich white men. Listen to this book to find out just how much Nick isn’t racist, homophobic, or sexist. Its virtue signaling at its worst.
This audiobook is a recording of a political rant slash stand up performance. Either it was a coffee shop size crowd or they didn't think it was funny either. Nick not only bombs on stage, he records it and sells it to his fans. I guess the joke is on us. Shame on you bro, you lost a long time fan. Audible was kind enough to give me my money back.
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8 people found this helpful
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story2 out of 5 stars
- James Montesano
- 03-31-23
off the deep end
normally an enjoyable left of center, though able to see the fallacy of all, nick went off the deep end here. I've enjoyed most everything he does, but not this. Dem media rhetoric put to a tune. I'll go back to his books on wood only I guess.
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