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A Wizard's Guide to Defensive Baking
- Narrated by: Patricia Santomasso
- Length: 8 hrs and 30 mins
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- Length: 18 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Jia's people learned the hard way that there are no second chances. The Egril, their ancient enemy, struck with magic so devastating that Jia's armies were wiped out. Now terror reigns in the streets, and friend turns on friend just to live another day. Somehow Tinnstra - a deserter, a failure, nothing but a coward - survived. She wants no more than to hide from the chaos. But dragged into a desperate plot to retake Jia, surrounded by people willing to do anything to win the fight, this time Tinnstra will need to do more than hide.
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Criminally Underrated Gem in a world of Dark Fantasy
- By Nic on 04-24-23
By: Mike Shackle
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Flora Segunda
- By: Ysabeau S. Wilce
- Narrated by: Danielle Ferland
- Length: 11 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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In Ysabeau S. Wilce's exciting debut novel, Flora's mom is away, leaving Flora and her father home alone at Crackpot Hall with its 11,000 constantly shifting rooms. Late for school one day, Flora decides to take the elevator down to the first floor. But without her mother around, the elevator has ideas of its own and drops Flora in an unfamiliar room. Lost in her own house, Flora embarks on a harrowing quest to find her way back to where she started.
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Surprising and fun
- By Charlene on 10-13-07
By: Ysabeau S. Wilce
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Novice Dragoneer
- Dragoneer Academy, Book 1
- By: E. E. Knight
- Narrated by: Nicole Poole
- Length: 16 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Fourteen-year-old Ileth grew up in an orphanage, and thanks to her stutter was never thought to be destined for much beyond kitchen work and cleaning. But she's dreamed of serving with the dragons ever since a childhood meeting with a glittering silver dragon and its female dragoneer. For years she waits, and as soon as she is old enough to join, Ileth runs away to become a novice dragoneer at the ancient human-dragon fortress of the Serpentine.
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She’s 14yrs old
- By Alex D. on 10-23-21
By: E. E. Knight
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Dragon Oracle Omnibus
- Dragon Oracle, Book 1-3
- By: Jada Fisher
- Narrated by: Christine Lakin
- Length: 12 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Davie is a normal girl trying to live a normal life. Except that she can see the future and has visions that make her seem crazy. When she meets a man who immediately seems too perfect to be real, her quest for a normal life quickly ends. She soon learns the world is full of mythical creatures including shape-shifting dragons, dwarves, and mystical oracles. Can Davie adapt to the new world that has dropped her into the middle of a mythical war that could tear the world apart?
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Not a reverse harem!
- By BrandyDalton on 11-23-20
By: Jada Fisher
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Ship of Smoke and Steel
- By: Django Wexler
- Narrated by: Catherine Ho
- Length: 13 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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In the lower wards of Kahnzoka, the port city of the Blessed Empire, 18-year-old ward boss Isoka enforces the will of her criminal masters with the power of Melos, the Well of Combat. The money she collects goes to keep her little sister living in comfort, far from the bloody streets they grew up on. When Isoka's magic is discovered by the government, she's arrested and brought to the Emperor's spymaster, who sends her on an impossible mission: Steal Soliton, a legendary ghost ship - a ship from which no one has ever returned. If she fails, her sister’s life is forfeit.
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The Long Pauses Ruins the Book
- By Joseph on 05-29-19
By: Django Wexler
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Low Town
- A Novel
- By: Daniel Polansky
- Narrated by: Rob Shapiro
- Length: 11 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Drug dealers, hustlers, brothels, dirty politics, corrupt cops...and sorcery. Welcome to Low Town. In the forgotten back alleys and flophouses that lie in the shadows of Rigus, the finest city of the Thirteen Lands, you will find Low Town. It is an ugly place, and its champion is an ugly man. Disgraced intelligence agent. Forgotten war hero. Independent drug dealer. After a fall from grace five years ago, a man known as the Warden leads a life of crime, addicted to cheap violence and expensive drugs.
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Noir and fantasy walk into a bar...
- By Reviews by L on 12-16-15
By: Daniel Polansky
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Reign of Stars
- By: Tim Pratt
- Narrated by: Victor Bevine
- Length: 8 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
When the leader of the ruthless Technic League calls in a favor, the mild-mannered alchemist Alaeron has no choice but to face a life he thought he'd left behind long ago. Accompanied by his only friend, a street-savvy thief named Skiver, Alaeron must head north into Numeria, a land where brilliant and evil arcanists rule over the local barbarian tribes with technology looted from a crashed spaceship.
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Narrator
- By Carolyn V on 05-27-16
By: Tim Pratt
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Slay and Rescue
- By: John Moore
- Narrated by: Jake Lewis
- Length: 7 hrs and 23 mins
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Overall
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Prince Charming must work overtime when he becomes embroiled in a plot involving an evil sorceress, an enchanted castle, an angry dragon, and three beautiful damsels in distress. In this hilarious fairy tale parody, Prince Charming is getting tired the constant need to Slay and Rescue.
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another charming story by John Moore
- By greygamer on 12-19-20
By: John Moore
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Worldship: Udo the Digger
- Worldship, Book 1
- By: Joshua Gayou
- Narrated by: R.C. Bray
- Length: 14 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Udo's biggest problem isn't being a digger (that's low class), or staying drunk (that's damn expensive), or avoiding the Dwergaz (they're monsters), or even pissing off the supposed Gods. It's that his reality...well, it isn't what he thought. And now, he can't even afford to drink because his so-called friend Nicz is cutting into his business, digging up tin, iron, and copper. So Udo forms a new plan: clay. After all, clay jars are used to store everything: meat, herbs, and, his personal favorite, ale.
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I am confused.
- By Ahkia on 06-02-20
By: Joshua Gayou
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The Spark
- By: David Drake
- Narrated by: James Patrick Cronin
- Length: 11 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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In the time of the Ancients the universe was united - but that was so far in the past that not even memory remains, only the broken artifacts that a few Makers can reshape into their original uses. What survives is shattered into enclaves - some tiny, some ruined, some wild. Into the gaps between settlements, and onto the road that connects all human reality and the reality that is not human and may never have been human, have crept monsters.
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Very enjoyable
- By Stewart on 11-14-17
By: David Drake
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Heroics for Beginners
- By: John Moore
- Narrated by: Joe Delafield
- Length: 7 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Prince Kevin Timberline must retrieve Ancient Artifact Model Seven from the clutches of the evil Lord Voltmeter - He Who Must Be Named - before said evil lord unleashes his diabolical plan. Luckily, Kevin wields a secret weapon that will cause the forces of darkness to tremble: The Handbook of Practical Heroics.
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Milking the Giant Cow!
- By Timothy on 03-28-13
By: John Moore
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Oh......please listen to this book!
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Years ago, the dark queen was executed by witches, her cultists hunted down like rats and forced into hiding. Their black magic buried and put to rest, all was well in the world . . . or so we thought. Kitarni Bárány, witch and shepherd of her flock, has always been different. There's a darkness in her blood and a destiny beyond the border of her small village. Corruption is spreading, and the whispers of cultists stir through the woods once again. Betrothed to the heir of the Wolfblood Clan, she risks not only her life but her heart.
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A paladin, an assassin, a forger, and a scholar ride out of town. It's not the start of a joke, but rather an espionage mission with deadly serious stakes. T. Kingfisher's new novel begins the tale of a murderous band of criminals (and a scholar), thrown together in an attempt to unravel the secret of the Clockwork Boys, mechanical soldiers from a neighboring kingdom that promise ruin to the Dowager's city.
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New voice actor please?
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Fairy Tales
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George MacDonald, described by W.H. Auden as "one of the most remarkable writers of the 19th century", was valued in his own time as an original thinker and spiritual guide. Of all his writing, it is the fairy tales that have retained their fascination, and this collection includes all 11 stories. The fairy tales feature the stock characters of traditional tales—fairies both good and bad, and children undertaking precarious journeys. Often adopting paradox and nonsense as Lewis Carroll did, the stories invite adults to deploy the same open-mindedness as children.
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The greatest author OAT
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By: George MacDonald
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Ash Princess
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Theodosia was six when her country was invaded and her mother, the Fire Queen, was murdered before her eyes. On that day, the Kaiser took Theodosia's family, her land, and her name. Theo was crowned Ash Princess - a title of shame to bear in her new life as a prisoner. For 10 years, Theo has been a captive in her own palace. She's endured the relentless abuse and ridicule of the Kaiser and his court. She is powerless, surviving in her new world only by burying the girl she was deep inside.
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Not what I expected, but still very good.
- By M. Addison on 06-27-18
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Wendy, Darling
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Find the second star from the right, and fly straight on ’til morning, all the way to Neverland, a children’s paradise with no rules, no adults, only endless adventure and enchanted forests—all led by the charismatic boy who will never grow old. But Wendy Darling grew up. She has a husband and a young daughter called Jane, and a life in London. But one night, after all these years, Peter Pan returns. Wendy finds him outside her daughter’s window, looking to claim a new mother for his Lost Boys. But instead of Wendy, he takes Jane.
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So good
- By Zachary Welborn on 07-23-23
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The Swifts: A Dictionary of Scoundrels
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Meet Shenanigan Swift: Little sister. Risk-taker. Mischief-maker. Shenanigan is getting ready for the big Swift Family Reunion and plotting her next great scheme: hunting for Grand-Uncle Vile’s long-lost treasure. She’s excited to finally meet her arriving relatives—until one of them gives Arch-Aunt Schadenfreude a deadly shove down the stairs. So what if everyone thinks she’ll never be more than a troublemaker, just because of her name? Shenanigan knows she can become whatever she wants, even a detective. And she’s determined to follow the twisty clues and catch the killer.
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Clever and quirky- lots of good representation!
- By Rebekah on 05-24-23
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What listeners say about A Wizard's Guide to Defensive Baking
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
- Angela Briggs
- 03-01-23
I wish this was a series!!!
The cover art and the title got me. Honestly, I saw the cover art and was like, hmmm pretty interesting looking cover. Then I read the title and was like funny! So, having been burned buying books based on covers and titles before, I decided to listen to the sample. HILARIOUS! I was intrigued enough to buy the book (with a credit).
I loved this story. It could have been longer; flushing out more details about some of the outlying characters. But, as is, it was great. There is a good amount of humor and a well put together plotline. I will be honest, when I realized the main character was only 14, I got a little worried. I find stories with young main characters are too...juvenile for me. Usually those books are aimed towards younger audiences and the author includes "relatable" topics for those users. But this book was great! It will read well for younger and older audiences. How the 14 year old talks is a bit....I don't know...old for her age? Not sure if anyone remembers how the characters in Dawson's Creek spoke...big words that teens would NEVER use which made viewers (at least me) give them the side eye quite often. For this book, it wasn't the vocabulary so much as the thought processes. I understand that the setting is not modern at all, but still, I felt like I was listening to a grown woman instead of a child. But I wouldn't call it a con; just an observation :)
I would LOVE to see this turn into a series. There are so many avenues in which this story can run! Its a world I wouldn't mind getting mentally swept up into.
The narrator does an amazing job. Read very well and at a good pace. Good inflections and tones. A stellar performance.
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- Cheryl
- 03-06-23
Engaging and funny
The story moved along at a good pace and never felt slow or rushed! There were lots of moments that made me laugh. It had elements that seemed like they would be silly but some how came across as whimsical instead. Really great book.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Jennifer C.
- 11-12-22
A fun & unique adventure, & now I want gingerbread
Fourteen-year-old Mona has magic. Unfortunately for Mona, that magic only works with bread. And while that is very helpful when she's working in the bakery owned by her aunt and uncle, it's not really good for things like defending herself, stopping a killer, and fighting a war.
Unfortunately for Mona, that's what she's being tasked with doing.
Mona's life was very predictable and seemingly going well right up until she discovers the body of a young girl on the floor of the bakery one morning. When the authorities show up to investigate, the lead inquisitor decides that Mona is the murderer, and she is immediately arrested and taken to the castle to face trial.
While Mona is released by the duchess, who is the leader of their city, she is not really in the clear. The lead inquisitor still thinks she's guilty, and now she has an assassin coming after her. It's too bad her magic only works with bread and isn't really helpful in these situations.
This was such a fun book, and I found myself cheering Mona on every time she started to feel down about herself and her abilities. As many keep telling her, while bread magic may not be the most ideal for defending herself and her city, it can be useful in many different ways. In addition to Mona becoming more confident in her own magic, and thus growing more confident in general, we have several other characters around her that are great for support. Each of those characters get some great character development, and it was nice to see characters that weren't just cardboard cutouts or stereotyped characters to fit a role.
One of my favorite characters ended up being the little gingerbread man. While similar to the gingerbread man in Shrek, the gingerbread man in this book is much better. Even without speech, he is able to convey his thought and feelings. And there's one scene where he has to wrangle together a bunch of other gingerbread men that is just amazing. I was giggling while listening to it - the picture that was painted in my head was so funny.
I can definitely say, after listening to this book, that I won't be looking at baked goods in the same way again. I also loved the narration, done by Patricia Santomasso. Though this was the first book of hers that I have listened to, I really enjoyed her performance. This is a book that I definitely plan to read again, and when I do, I will be listening.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Kindle Customer
- 01-27-22
Enjoyed the story
This was a charming story that is well written and produced. I enjoyed the book greatly.
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- Shannon
- 05-10-22
Entertaining
I fully enjoyed this story. The characters were lovable and engaging. The world was colorful and interesting. There was a definite thread of humor throughout the whole story that kept it from getting too heavy or boring. The narration was excellent. I’m glad I bought this one!
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- Christie Cummins
- 07-20-22
hmmmm
should of led with it is a ya book for anyone 12 to 15. it wasnt the authors best
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- Anonymous User
- 09-19-22
Great
The magic system is unique and masterfully used in the story
The characters are amazing and the narration was great
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- Kirstyn
- 12-29-22
Wonderful Story; Excellent Narration
I started reading “A Wizards Guide…” by checking it out from the library—and ended it with both an Audible and Kindle copy of this book. That’s how much I loved this story. Also, Patricia Santomasso is such a great narrator—she brings Mona (and every other character, especially Knackering Molly) to life, SO well.
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- travis
- 03-25-23
Surprisingly good!
I got this on sale and it looked funny. Turned out to be really well written. The worldbuilding and magic system was somewhat vague, but that WAS the system, and it was always true to the rules that it was given. The character development of the main character was well done, as well as the relationships she had with those around her. I really think there is more that can be done in this world, and T. Kingfisher is definitely on my radar for the future.
Highly suggested!
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- Kelton
- 04-10-23
different and fun
different take on magic. fun little story. good for adults and kids as long as you don't want something super serious
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