What we do in our entire lives is we concoct this mental strategy, we have put together a pattern of behavior that we were taught to protect ourselves.

Our parents taught us that, society taught us that, we taught us ourselves that from the first time we were hurt by exposing ourselves.

We learned how to do everything possible to push people away and not be emotionally intimate.

And if you really look at everybody around you, you will notice hardly anybody is open to real emotional connection, and we've accepted that.

We've accepted anger and all kinds of strategies other than the reality of being where we are, loving ourselves, being in ourselves, and not being in the old patterns.

All of a sudden it's brand new, it's terrifying, He comes close. You are open. It's

like being assaulted!Go ahead. Imagine him in front of you. Imagine he's all you ever wanted. Imagine him now actually walking towards you with flowers and a ring and food and love and a smile in his face.

And he reaches you and he touches your breast. And he just says, "You are beautiful. How do you feel?"

I've never met a woman who doesn't immediately feel terrified the moment she gets what she wants.

So we want to prepare for that!

On Siren Island, Practicing Feminine Energy tools to feel your heart, your Feminine Energy and have love respond to you in beautiful ways.

Siren Island is my official community and Feminine Energy Sanctuary, right now the monthly membership is only $33 here:

https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-community-program/

Love, Rori

So often, we acquiesce.

Not because we’re weak, but because it’s easier.

Easier to go along with his mood, his energy, his comfort zone—than to sit with what’s actually alive inside of us.

If I just soften, smile, agree, maybe the tension will go away.

Maybe love will feel safe again.

But when I do that too quickly, without checking in with me first, something happens: I start to disappear.

And with that disappearing act comes resentment.

Tiny and quiet at first, like a whisper we don’t want to admit we hear. We tell ourselves, “I’m fine. I’m the cool girl.

I can handle this.” But under that “fine” is a feeling that never got acknowledged.

And when we keep stuffing that feeling down just to keep the peace, we slowly lose touch with our true feminine power.

But what if we didn’t do that?

What if your first reaction wasn’t to him, but to you?

This is the practice!

It’s in those exact moments—when he’s distracted or cold or unavailable—that you have a choice.

You could shrink and make it about him…

Or you could lean into your own body, your own breath, and ask gently, “What’s happening in me?”

When we respond to ourselves first, something softens and steadies. Maybe we don’t need to say anything right away. Maybe the moment becomes a cup of tea, stroking the cat, letting our nervous system settle.

And sometimes—often, even—before you know it, he’s right there, arms around you, pulled back in by the magnetic truth of your centeredness.

On Siren Island, we practice living as your most empowered Feminine Self.

Practicing Feminine Energy tools you want and need to feel your best all out GIRL life and have love respond to you in beautiful feeling ways.

Siren Island is my official community and Feminine Energy Sanctuary, right now the monthly membership is only $33 here:

https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-community-program/

Love, Rori

So let's say out of nowhere, he's defensive.

Out of nowhere, he's just like pissed. He's cranky, right?

And he says something and you immediately feel, I want to get back on track.

I want to be loved.

what happened, he just got mad at me, and you're going to have reactions.

So we want to make the difference between reaction and responsiveness in all thesedifferent scenarios.

So the reaction would be, you're pissed right back.

How dare he? Where is this coming from?

And anger, right?

Another option would be, oh, we're off.

Oh my gosh, you know, what know what happened?

Let's get us back on track.... I'll be loving, I'll be giving, I'll be warm...

That could be a reaction and we're all different.

Some of us immediately click into anger, some of us immediately click into repair mode.

On Siren Island, we practice living as your most empowered Feminine Self.

Practicing Feminine Energy tools you want and need to feel your best all out GIRL life and have love respond to you in beautiful feeling ways.

Siren Island is my official community and Feminine Energy Sanctuary, right now the monthly membership is only $33 here:

https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-community-program/

Love, Rori

You’re the Siren!

You’re the beacon.

He’s always in search of his emotional center, but he cannot find it unless you are shining.

And you can’t do that from your head!

You have to drop back into your feelings, into your body, into the truth of what you want — not the rules, not the negotiation.

The Want.

You have to go first.

That’s the part no one wants to hear — but it’s true.

You’re the one who understands how to create intimacy in a way he doesn’t yet. You can’t reconnect with him until you reconnect with yourself.

That’s where the trust begins again.

That’s where clarity comes from — not from controlling him, but from feeling you.

When you’re grounded in what feels good and true, you won’t need to figure anything out. You’ll know.

On Siren Island, we practice living as your most empowered Feminine Self.

Practicing Feminine Energy tools you want and need to feel your best girl life and have love respond to you in beautiful feeling ways.

Siren Island is my official community and Feminine Energy Sanctuary, right now the monthly membership is only $33 here:

https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-community-program/

Love, Rori

If this keeps happening over and over again — yes, he may be insensitive. But ask yourself: Did I say anything?

Did I share how I felt? Or did I just get angry, shut down, and silently file it away as part of his personality?

That’s convenient for the subconscious — because the subconscious doesn’t actually want intimacy. It wants safety.

So instead of going into negotiation mode — “Can I fix this?” “Can we talk about it?” — try this: pause. Ask your little self, “What am I feeling?” And when the answer is lost, needy, angry, scared — you don’t reach for the fix.

You lay down, you breathe, you cry, you feel. You let yourself sink back into your body. Then, only then, you open a conversation.

Not to fix. But to feel.

You say: “I felt myself shutting down. I didn’t want to. I just want to feel loved.”

You do not need to negotiate. That’s a head thing. You’re not in your head anymore — you’re in your want. “I want to feel like I’m your person. I want to feel safe. I want to feel like I matter to you in the dark, when no one else is around.”

Say the “stupid” stuff. Say the Hallmark card things. “I want to be the one you reach for. I want the wedding dress. I want to feel chosen.” Say it all.

Because those words are not weak — they are true.

And when you speak from that place, your voice will change. He will feel it. And if he’s your person — truly your person — something in him will turn. He’ll lean in.

You won’t have to convince him.

You’ll just know. And if he’s not?

You’ll know that too.

You won’t have to beg for clarity.

And here’s the truth that breaks my heart open every time:

If you were to say, “I need you right now” — not from fear, but from your heart — the right man would turn around and say, “What do you need?”

That’s it. That’s the moment. That’s what love sounds like.

On Siren Island, you’ll learn more of my tools and the exact words to say to bring love and everything you want close.

Siren Island is my official community and Feminine Energy Sanctuary.

Siren Island is here:

https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-community-program/

Love, Rori

There’s a reason we love the villainesses in movies!

There’s a part of you that doesn’t want to be the princess — she wants to be the witch.

The one who takes up space.

The one who owns her power, even if others find it dangerous. The one who doesn’t care what anyone thinks.

Let’s be honest — wouldn’t there be a thrill in being her for just a moment?

That dark feminine energy — the rage, the jealousy, the desire to dominate — is not shameful. It’s not a problem.

It’s part of you.

The question isn’t whether it’s good or bad — the question is, can you feel it without judging it?

We all want to protect what’s ours. We all want to be chosen.

And when something threatens that — whether it’s another woman, an unspoken fear, or an old wound — the part of us that would burn it all down rises to the surface.

Not because we’re bad, but because we’re alive.

If you suppress it, it doesn’t go away — it just turns inward and becomes shame.

Shame for wanting.

Shame for feeling.

Shame for being too much.

And that shame is what disconnects us from intimacy, not the feelings themselves.

So let yourself love the part of you that is jealous. The part that’s furious. The part that would claw for love.

She’s not evil.

She’s trying to protect you.

She wants to be seen.

Let her come forward — and then choose how you want to respond. That’s power.

True feminine power doesn’t come from being nice.

It comes from being whole.On Siren Island — we’re reclaiming wholeness.

It’s my official community and Feminine Energy Sanctuary, with live classes, a full curriculum, and personalized coaching. Inside, you’ll learn how to access your softness without losing your power — and how to show up in love as your whole self.

Siren Island is here:

https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-community-program/

Love, Rori

Some men cry on the first date.

They talk endlessly about their exes. It’s a turnoff. And yet — here they are, showing up in your dating life again and again.

They don’t show up for every woman. But they’re showing up for you. Not because you’re doing anything wrong — but because, deep down, some part of you connects with them.

A part that feels safer rejecting love than receiving it.

A part that chooses the kind of man you know you won’t have to fully open to. That’s not failure — that’s self-protection.

So instead of pushing them away, pause and ask:

Why are they pouring out their problems to me?

Maybe it’s because… I want someone to pour my problems out to.

Maybe they’re reflecting something I haven’t let myself admit I need.

That desire for emotional connection — even in its messy, uncomfortable form — is real.

There’s a deep call for intimacy underneath the resistance.

What if this man isn’t just a mismatch — but a mirror?

Not your forever person, but your wake-up call.

Let yourself feel what rises in your body when he speaks — the sadness, the heaviness, the resentment. Let yourself stay in it.

Not to tolerate bad behavior, but to finally get honest with yourself.

What are you aching to be heard for?

What part of you is longing to be seen?

This man might be showing you exactly where you’ve shut down emotionally. And that’s the moment.

That’s the door you’ve been walking past.

We don’t talk about our past to heal — we talk to avoid feeling. But once you start feeling? Things shift. Walls melt.

Patterns break. And you begin to choose from wholeness instead of fear.

If you find yourself going on bad date after bad date — same patterns, different faces —

Siren Island is here for you.

It’s my official community and Feminine Energy Sanctuary, with classes, personalized coaching, and a full curriculum of materials to help you shift your patterns from the inside out.

Siren Island is here:

https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-community-program/

Love, Rori

Charlotte was one of the beautiful, high-achieving women in Sex and the City.

She had everything on the outside — great friends, a fabulous lifestyle, success. And yet… she just couldn’t find love that lasted. The men kept dumping her.

It was heartbreaking to watch.

Then, suddenly, a man came along.

He was a foot shorter than her, not traditionally handsome — but deeply emotionally aware, intelligent, grounded, and absolutely certain about who he was.

He was a real partner. And Charlotte had to make a choice: Would she let herself be with a man who didn’t look right in her world — a world full of wealthy, beautiful people? Or would she take a chance on something real?

Are you Charlotte? Are you looking for a man who looks like a magazine ad or fits your Instagram aesthetic… but missing the one who would actually show up for your heart?

Are you pushing aside the men who don’t fit your checklist, even though they might be offering something deeper?

The love you want doesn’t come from being perfect.

This life is messy. Trust the mess. Trust your feelings. And let yourself be chosen for real — not just for show.

If you’d like a place to keep going with stories like this Siren Island is my official community.

It started as just a handful of women on my blog — sharing how the tools were landing, supporting each other, and opening up to love. And over time, it grew into something more.

Now, it’s become so much more - Siren Island is a Sanctuary for feminine energy, with classes, a full curriculum, and the kind of vibes that help you melt back into your body and your truth.

Siren Island is here:




https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-community-program/

Love, Rori