When Wanting More From Men Feels Forbidden

There’s something that feels almost taboo to talk about in dating, and that’s this desire for men to be more initiating.

Many women wonder, Can I even want that? Can I ask for that?

What I’ve noticed—especially watching something like Love Is Blind—is that people often come together because their patterns recognize each other.

On the surface, it looks like compatibility. But over time, what was hidden starts to show.

Niceness can cover a lot.

Sometimes what looks gentle at first turns out to be demanding, or even controlling.

It takes time to get to someone’s real nature.

So let’s talk about wants versus expectations.

Expectations are patterns.

Wants are deeper.

Just because you want something doesn’t mean it will happen—but wanting is where everything starts.

The problem is, many of us don’t actually know what we want anymore.

Our desires have been shaped by what we were told we should want.

When you say, “I want him to lead,” what you usually mean isn’t a list of behaviors.

You don’t want him to perform masculinity correctly.

What you want is to feel something—to relax, to soften, to drop out of your head and into yourself.

And when you connect there, something shifts.

Connection comes before behavior, not the other way around.

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Love, Rori