Autumn, my resident four‑legged princess, gave me her classic “Oh bother, Mom’s monologuing again” eye‑roll just as I hit record for my podcast episode today. My spirits were still buoyant from a lovely pool afternoon with two sober friends, so I ignored her pouty pooch protest.

The universe’s timing is beautiful. Yesterday I was yanked me out of the moment and straight into a technicolor flashback of me standing in front of a double fridge stuffed wall‑to‑wall with cheap cold ones under the roof of my late father-in-law’s shop. I got mentally stuck in the lure of the cozy and nostalgic comfort I felt back then. I snapped out of it feeling, fearful that I’d let myself romanticize that stockpile of endless beer.

Fast forward to this morning’s meetings, which coincidentally were about remembering our last drunk and Step 1. So, I ran the tape forward and wrote down where drinking led me. I couldn’t stand up in the shower or while getting ready for work, drank in rush‑hour traffic both ways, did the worm on Shenanigans’ dance floor (gracefully, I’m sure). Shame surged as I allowed these thoughts to surface, but clarity followed. It wasn’t the beer in that fridge I was missing last night. It was my late father-in-law who called me daughter and made every visit feel like home. Grief was the ache beneath the craving, and naming it anchors me in my sobriety. Today I leaned on a team bigger than myself to get that story to its proper ending. My psychiatrist, 2 AA meetings, 2 sober friends, and yes, one judgy Weimaraner helped me process my pain. Sometimes pain is required for growth.

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To learn more about vestibular disorders visit https://vestibular.org

#Sobriety #AddictionRecovery #SoberLife #Recovery #MentalHealth #EmotionalSobriety #GriefHealing #AlcoholicsAnonymous #OneDayAtATime #RecoveryCommunity

I woke up groggy with my usual vestibular hangover. I got my coffee and sat down ready to “download” guidance from my higher power through my morning sobriety meetings. Our reading covered being unwilling to make amends for a lingering resentment. What I realized was that I experienced a similar resistance to making amends. I wasn't ready because I didn't yet have the tools to face my part in the relationship. I lacked enough of the program’s tools and need to keep showing up to meetings and talking to my sponsor. Once I could see my role in that broken relationship, I could focus on cleaning my side of the street.

I'm a chronic grudge keeper. If someone wrongs me, they are out of my life but stay in my head. It doesn't feel good to hold a grudge, but I do it anyway. Forgiveness is not a gift to the person that you're forgiving, it is a gift to yourself. Forgiveness is canceling the emotional debt that you've been holding on to. I heard this morning that anger is like holding on to a hot coal hoping the other person gets burned. Forgiveness allows me to drop the hot coal, let go of my ego and desire to be right, and instead seek serenity.

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To learn more about vestibular disorders visit https://vestibular.org

#SobrietyJourney #RecoveryDaily #EmotionalSobriety #LetGoAndLetGod #ForgivenessHeals #DropTheHotCoal #AmendsMatter #SerenityNow #GrudgeFreeLiving #StrokeSurvivor #VestibularWarrior #OneDayAtATime

I only began to understand what humility was when the 12 steps deflated my ego like a helium balloon. Step five helped my defects of character seep out by acknowledging them with someone I trust. Step 6 tested my willingness to let those defects go. After a lifetime of listening to that little voice in my head tell me the wrong things, building new habits like pausing takes practice to let that little voice settle. But when I do, the ego balloon rests at eye level, and I become teachable.

That same voice is the one that tells me to sleep in and skip my sobriety meeting, eat a deep dish pizza instead of a salad, or cut someone off who’s trying to help me and insist that I know best. That voice is the one who holds the strings that lead to nothing yet grips them tighter only to strangle my own serenity. When I’m hungry, angry, lonely, or tired, she grows louder.

My humility and ego have a dynamic balance that see-saw while I continually fine-tune my behavior. Some days I successfully drop the strings into my God box.

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To learn more about vestibular disorders visit https://vestibular.org

#SobrietyJourney #12Steps #SoberLife #AddictionRecovery #Humility #SelfAwareness #ProgressNotPerfection #MentalHealthMatters #PersonalGrowth #MindfulLiving

When runners prepare their stance for the start of the race with feet planted, fingers on the track, and heart pounding, they’re getting entirely ready to go all in. In the same way, Step 6 is the action of becoming ready and willing to open yourself up to self-reflection and release from character defects. You know those things you do and say that stand in the way of your relationships and growth, and that you later regretfully wish you didn’t do or say? Those are character defects. And mine stick to me like gum on a shoe.

Step 6 teaches me to be moldable, like clay, instead of hardened by fear, ego, or habit. I became willing to let go of the parts of me that no longer serve me, even the ones I’ve used to survive and protect myself from being hurt. These instincts, when distorted, separate me from others. So, I had to become willing to examine them with honesty and cooperate with my higher power to let them go. I consider my higher power to be everything outside of myself including my concept of God. That means I need to cooperate with the others around me, not figure it all out in my own echo chamber.

It took me a couple years to understand Step 6. I can’t release my defects of character that I’m still justifying or hiding. If my obsession with alcohol was lifted, why not ego and selfishness too. The 12 steps are all about remaining open to change. I heard in early sobriety that the only thing I had to change was everything. So, every day I show up to the starting line with willingness again and again.

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To learn more about vestibular disorders visit https://vestibular.org

#Step6Recovery #TwelveSteps #CharacterDefects #EmotionalSobriety #SpiritualGrowth #RecoveryJourney #SobrietySupport #LetGoAndLetGod #WillingnessToChange #MoldableMindset

This morning, I woke up feeling spiritually flat, like I had no direction. That feeling’s been lingering for a while. It feels kind of like restlessness that I haven’t been able to snap out of. But today I made some headway without planning for it. I just got up and went through my usual morning routine. Someone shared something that resonated with me in my meeting. What I heard was, “How can I be bored when there’s such a beautiful and fascinating world around me?” I realized that life can make extraordinary things ordinary when struggles shift our perspective. I can still be amazed when I look at the world through grateful lens’.

As the day unfolded, instead of forcing myself into a half-inspired activity, I let connection lead. After my meetings, I talked to my psychiatrist, had a long heart-to-heart with my mom, and checked in with my sponsor. Connection was the antidote to my spiritual malady today. Faith, for me, is reaching outside myself, trusting in the people and the world around me. Those real conversations helped my day fill itself in. I ended the day with an hour of yoga and whipping up a delightful Balti dish (Fried cilantro and almond cod, dahl, and rice). I didn’t have to plan it all out (though, let’s be honest, I nailed that dinner). Life showed up for me because I showed up for it.

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To learn more about vestibular disorders visit https://vestibular.org

#MentalHealth #SpiritualAwakening #HealingJourney #RecoveryIsPossible #GratitudePractice #SelfCare #EmotionalHealth #FaithOverFear #ConnectionMatters #Mindfulness #YogaLife #DailyInspiration #SoberLife #TherapyWorks #HealthyMindset

I went to the movie theater yesterday with my niece, but the accessibility headphones didn’t work. I had to sit through the film relying only on the dialogue. At first, I felt like crying. But instead of spiraling into self-pity, I shifted into gratitude for being with my niece, for a kick-ass burger, fries, and a vanilla shake, and simply for getting out of the house. When our expectations fall apart, there’s still joy to be found if we’re willing to pivot and stay grateful.

That mindset carried into my stroke and vestibular support groups. We talked about the grief of losing a highly functional life overnight and the invisible struggles of cognitive fatigue and sensory overload. In today’s episode, I shared how recognizing my early warning signs helps prevent crashing through a threshold that's hard to bounce back from. My subtle clues before a full flare-up look like this:
• Visual fogginess
• Zoning out
• Muscle tension in my neck and back to limit head movement
• Cognitive slowness and word-finding issues
• Fatigue that feels like my thoughts are wading through sand

If I stay tuned in to my body, I can make choices that protect my peace and well-being instead of push past my limits.

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Rather listen on Apple Podcasts? https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/recovery-daily-podcast/id1693924779

Visit my Etsy shop, and join my creative journey at Recovery Upcycling. https://www.etsy.com/shop/RecoveryUpcycling

To learn more about vestibular disorders visit https://vestibular.org

#StrokeRecovery #VestibularDisorder #ChronicIllnessAwareness #SensoryOverload #CognitiveFatigue #GratitudeInRecovery #ListenToYourBody #EmotionalSobriety #RecoveryJourney #AccessibleLiving

Sometimes sobriety and support meetings can feel like a chore. They can feel repetitive and purposeless when our lives start to normalize. I can lose gratitude when life gets fuller, more joyful, and busier. I can feel torn between enjoying life and honoring the practices that got me here. This shift is a red flag, even though it’s also a sign of growth. Revisiting the notion of emotional sobriety every week invites me to look deeper. Am I still living with intention? Am I still living in honesty and humility?

When the spark of inspiration fades, service can carry the torch for our recovery. Even when I don’t feel like I need a meeting today, I know someone else might need me.

This is where practicing the principles becomes a lifestyle of getting out of self and seeing my role in the world around me. It’s in how I interact with my kids, friends, and family. My recovery fellowship doesn’t revolve around me. It revolves around us. It’s a “we program”, and if I can’t show up for me, I can show up for you. Showing up becomes less about receiving and more about being a steady presence for someone else, just like others were for us in the beginning.

Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and YouTube.

Visit my Etsy shop, Recovery Upcycling. https://www.etsy.com/shop/RecoveryUpcycling

To learn more about vestibular disorders visit https://vestibular.org

#EmotionalSobriety #RecoveryJourney #12StepRecovery #SoberLife #LivingThePrinciples #ShowUpAnyway #WeProgram #SobrietySupport #ServiceInRecovery #GratitudeInAction

You know that restless, irritable, discontent feeling that makes everything feel like “too much and not enough” all at once? Today I went rucking, did yoga, handled some recovery paperwork, and even relaxed poolside, and yet I felt all day like I was trying to outrun my restlessness. It can be frustrating and even shameful when I’m doing all the right things but still feel hollow inside. My internal critic gives me a guilt trip that I should feel lucky to be alive and grateful always.

It’s okay to feel discontent, and it doesn’t mean I’m broken or backsliding. I know this discomfort is a signal or spiritual nudge. And after talking through it on my podcast today, I determined that boredom is masking a deeper need for connection.

When life feels flat despite our efforts, it’s okay to pause and ask yourself what you’re hungry for right now? Emotional sobriety helps us notice the off-ness and staying curious. Maybe the answer isn’t doing more but reconnecting with why we’re doing it. These moments of discontent can be teachers, gently pointing us toward a new fulfilling direction.

Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and YouTube.

Visit my Etsy shop, Recovery Upcycling. https://www.etsy.com/shop/RecoveryUpcycling

To learn more about vestibular disorders visit https://vestibular.org

#RestlessAndIrritable #EmotionalSobriety #RecoveryJourney #SpiritualAwareness #MentalHealthInRecovery #WhenBoredomStrikes #DoingTheWork #RecoveryReflection #SoberLiving #MindfulRecovery